Why does the time of year matter?

**fixer** · 12-26-2008, 12:12 AM

We had a horrible house fire in my area that killed four children under the age of sixteen. Every newscast and newspaper had to point out how bad it was that it happened on Christmas eve. It is as if they are saying that it would have been okay any other time. This really bugs me since it seems to happen all of the time. The tragedy would be as bad regardless of the time of the year. How can the particular day make it any worse?

**Nishu** · 12-26-2008, 02:28 AM

Because a lot of people take this to be a special time of the year where they can come closer to cherish their family and forget about the years troubles. It's a hopeful time if year that represents a kind of annual renewing and chance to start again fresh. Now the entire Christmas season, a time that is supposed to be joyous and fun, is going to be tarnished for an entire community and the surviving family. It may seem petty in comparison to the loss of life, but I wonder if people who lose loved ones around this time of year ever wish they could just enjoy a holiday without the constant reminder of the loss.

No, it would not have been okay any other time of the year, but the irony seems to add to the heartbreaking news.

(imo)

**rosey7415** · 12-26-2008, 06:34 AM

nishu explained it so well. i can't add anything. sorry for you and your community's loss. so sad!!!

**FrugalMomof3** · 12-26-2008, 08:06 AM

It doesnt matter what time of year but just that it happened. Such a shame but I think most people think that because it's right before Christmas most grumpy people might feel sympathy. Personally if something happens like that ANYDAY it is very sad.

**McD** · 12-26-2008, 09:25 AM

Speaking from very personal experience, it IS worse when such a horrific event happens on a holiday. It's not that it wouldn't be bad if it happened any other day of the year, but when such a horrible loss occurs on a day that is associated with happiness, festivies, joy, etc. it just seems to be an even bigger kick in the pants.

**Momto2Boyz** · 12-26-2008, 09:30 AM

I agree, it's horrible either way, but for these people's families, their holidays will be forever marred by the tradgedy. It doesn't make the event worse, but it will make future holiday's unbearable for these families.

**Grayce** · 12-26-2008, 09:42 AM

The anniversary of a loved ones death is always a tough time of year. If a loved one's death happens to coincide with an event that is supposed to be happy it ruins that event for many years to come.

**YankeeMom** · 12-26-2008, 11:12 AM

Having lost someone on Christmas eve, I can say it is pretty dang hard. I don't know if it's harder than any other time. But it was made extra hard because we had to deal with the holiday (when you are supposed to be happy) on top of the funeral. Plus there were all the presents we had bought him that we had to figure out what to do with. And every year on that holiday it's even harder. You are conflicted...are you happy because it's the holiday or do you grieve because it's the "anniversary".

**fixer** · 12-26-2008, 11:58 AM

As always, I can count on you guys to provide me with perspective that I lack. I too have lost someone who was very special to me on a holiday (Thanksgiving). I guess, try as I might, I don't have the connection to holidays as everyone else. I spent the bulk of my life as a dairy farmer. Holidays were just another commitment I had to juggle around milking, feeding and a host of other things I had to get done. I used to take a perverse pleasure knowing I was working when other people weren't. I have tempered that over the years on advice from DW and my Dr. I don't feel I am a scrooge but I guess the importance of holidays will always be less for me.