Is It Just Me?????

[pollypurebred39]

This Christmas is the first Christmas ever that we did not throw down and put out a enormous spread and be laden down with gifts for the relatives. Seeing that my husband has been without his REAL job for over a year and we need to budget the little income we have with extreme frugality, I decided to have this years dinner as a potluck. I made bow tie pasta with meat sauce, a cake and tea bread. The dinner was at 5pm and everyone was here with the exception of my Sister's family. Around 5:30 she calls and says that they are running late and are waiting for the ham and the potatoes to be done, that her husband wanted a real Christmas dinner. I'm a bit surprised because I had no idea they were bringing ham and potatoes. So we all wait. About a half an hour later she calls and says it's almost done that she's going to feed the kids and get them dressed and she will be over!!!!!! Turns out that they were not bringing the ham and potatoes over here at all, her husband was not happy with the fact that we were too poor this year to put on a proper dinner for him so he made his own meal at home. At this point I no longer make everyone wait and I feed the dinner crowd. After dinner we open up presents, still my Sister's family have not arrived. My nephew decides on his own to call his Mother's house only to be told they are not coming and can we send their (their little kids and theirs) presents home with him!!!!!!! I said NO!!!! If they want their presents they will have to come get them theirselves. UNBELIEVABLE!!! My husband's feelings are really hurt, as are mine. Is it just us, or was this behavior totally out of line????

[madhen]

Wow, that sounds pretty cold and VERY rude on their part. I probably would have said "What presents?" and taken them back to the store to get my money back!!

[kittykatstrong]

How rude! I would not have sent the presents either.

[Nishu]

I would have been tempted to donate their gifts to charity and rewrap some toiletries.

"Of course we'll send the presents home with him, no problem at all!"

[ladykemma2]

wow. i wonder if they were having a fight or something...

[joyofsix]

Extremely rude! I'd be vacillating between being hurt and being furious! Our family always does pot luck. How weird is he?

[rosey7415]

your brother in law was beyond rude. she should have bowed out if not going to come. we have a christmas party the same time every year for the last 40 or so years. my brother calls in the am....about 1/2 hour before he is suppose to be here and said he just got up......he is soooo tired......he won't be on time. everyone else is here on time.........wait?..........no way! we used to have a sister (moved away now) and she was late every year.....it was at my mother's house then....we all waited until she showed up.......but the problem with that was everyone had other plans for after the party and had to leave.....so because of this one sister....they ended up leaving before they could eat.........not happening at my party, if everyone else can be on time....i ain't gonna wait on you.....get here on time or catch up when you get here!! family can drive you nuts!!!

[tammy8701]

l agree with everyone else how rude

[ladytoysdream]

I think your sister was rude. They might better have called and just said they were not going to make it, that something had came up.
But they let you know that the food was quite important to them. Which is sad because Christmas should be about family getting together and enjoying the day.

We have a invite to his parents for the Xmas meal every year. Most of the time, weather permitting, we can make it. We always take a dish to pass of some kind and this year, we even took them a box of canned goods for a family gift.
One thing we do is buy is a special meat for us so we can have our own Xnas meal at home, and have leftovers for the next few days. Normally we would cook the meat real early Xmas morning. This year we cooked the turkey the day before, and had a real nice supper for us, Xmas eve. Had a ham meal at his folks this year. Works for us, we have leftovers

Thanksgiving, we host the family meal here, and we do the meat, pototoes, a few other items, and everyone brings a dish to pass. Works out good.

I made a pasta dish earlier this week, with a different kind of spaghetti sauce and if I can find another jar of it, I will make it again soon. It was soooooo good.

[FrugalMomof3]

Sounds cold and rude if you ask me, you did the right thing by saying NO!

[pbobber]

* insert sarcasm * Maybe they were too tired and poor from making their own christmas dinner.

I agree with the others, she was beyond rude. Had she not planned to join you for the dinner portion of the evening, she should have told you beforehand. Plus SHE should have called you and let you know that they decided not to come at all. Also interesting to note that at least one of her children was not present for the 'family feast' hmmmm.

[pbobber]

I do think that it is commendable that you had a potluck dinner this year instead of continueing what you have done in the past. So many people overextend themselves for the sake of holiday traditions instead of re-assessing them.

[Momto2Boyz]

THat is crazy! If he wanted his own dinner, he either should have offered to feed everyone, or just said he'd stay home in the first place!

I'd be a bit ticked too. We never know what to expect for Christmas dinner, sometimes it is a huge spread and sometimes, everyone just brings appetizers and we munch through the day and night.

This year my parents made a Prime Rib Roast which was delicious, then DH's family asked us to stop by after my parents again (we had spent the midday with them) and sent us home with tons of stuff leftover from their dinner (a huge ham affair) so this year DH got the best of both worlds!

[NotYet]

Aw, I'm sorry such a happy occasion was shadowed by rudeness. That's always a downer. I hope y'all had a good time anyway! Good luck with the next holiday get together!

[Ms. Clear]

Some people just feel really entitled to everything, no matter how things are going for the host. Very childish behavior, IMO. I'd take the presents back, not make a big thing about it, that would be sinking to their level, but just take them back and get your money.