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  1. 12-31-2008, 10:19 PM #1
    MandiDawn
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    Default Friend getting a divorce

    I have a good friend I've know for about 15 years. Tonight I found out that she is leaving her husband. I'm helping her move on Sat. This was a long time coming, he's not a good husband at all, she deserves so much more, but it still shakes me up.
    I"m not even 30 yet, yet in my close group of friends about 5 of them have got divorced in the past 2 years.
    On one hand it shakes you up, but it also makes me appriciate my dear sweet loving husband even more. I got the good one, that's for sure. I tell him every day how much I love him and how happy he makes me.
    I really want to do something for her - I'm half tempted to give her the money (as a long term loan) to file divorce papers, or pay for a u-haul (something she can't afford) or something!
    But knowing my own money situation, I might just give her a box of stuff to get started in her new house, ie toilet paper, cleaners, ect.

    Anyway, that's just my thoughts as 08 closes, and 09 gets ready to begin.
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  2. 12-31-2008, 10:23 PM #2
    Cricket1
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    You're a good friend. If you are looking for advice on how to help her, I would recommend be a listening ear, help her move, and perhaps give her a box of household goods that you aren't using and don't want.
    Mom to two crazy boys
    and wife to Mr. Wonderful

    "A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around." --Carolyn Birmingham
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  3. 12-31-2008, 11:07 PM #3
    Nana2two
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    Default

    I agree, what happens if you do help her and then they do get back together it might just damage your relationship. I learned friend or no friend you keep a ear open for her. I would suggest cousling.
    If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not to
    people or things.
    - Albert Einstein
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Life is not always fair. Sometimes you get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Don't wait for a crisis to look at your finances differently. Look at them differently now and avoid the crisis.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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  4. 12-31-2008, 11:16 PM #4
    Drgnfly423
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    It is hard when people you love are getting divorced. I'm very thankful for my husband, too. We always communicate really well, and that hasn't stopped in 7 years!
    I agree to just be there to listen to your friend. You never know what will happen in the future.
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  5. 12-31-2008, 11:32 PM #5
    MandiDawn
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    Yeah, I know that yes, she probably will go back with him - she has many times before. She does know that I don't like him, havn't liked him since the day she started dating him (13 years ago!). I've given her money before, always know that she can't pay it back.
    That's why my heart says to just get her a basket of goodies to start her new life off.
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  6. 01-01-2009, 12:13 AM #6
    Nana2two
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    Mandi, that would be a smart move.
    If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not to
    people or things.
    - Albert Einstein
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Life is not always fair. Sometimes you get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Don't wait for a crisis to look at your finances differently. Look at them differently now and avoid the crisis.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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  7. 01-01-2009, 06:25 AM #7
    MomToTwoBoys
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    Default

    I went through my one and only divorce when I was 24. It really does stink, especially when the other party isn't being as cooperative as you'd like them to be. I got harassing phone calls after I moved back to NY and my car was repossessed. I feel for your friend. The best thing you can do is be there for her. Help her get started and perhaps go out with her for coffee on a weekly basis to help her be sociable and happy.
    Wife to DH since 10/31/2002!
    Mom to DS #1 08/13/98 Mom to DS #2 09/11/03

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