As most of you know I was feeling pretty put upon about a week ago, I talked with hubby and we changed the kids chores so I had less of them to do and decided I would change my schedule a bit to take, "me" time when no one was home! ( the kids got more chores because hubby is starting a business and therefore I got more chores too!!)
So, last week was the 1st week of the new chores and lets just say it sucked!!! first off Hubby was out of town the most of the week because of work, so the kids were ass' and I did not do a whole lot about it because I'd already gone into a depressed funk!
I have been medicated for severe clinical depression before and I refuse to let that happen again, so, I already knew I was letting myself sink lower.
Let me also clue you all into the fact that I have not drank in about a year now, because drunks run in my family and I know that possability is there, so I put down the bottle (ALL BY MYSELF) and have yet to pick it back up! (little bitter for the lack of support and recognition on hubby's part!) And because of stress I was starting to drink an aweful lot, and lets just say, sometimes I am NOT a "happy/fun" drunk!!!
last week when the kids were being ass' hubby said "when I get home I will take care of it" what a load of crap!!!
So I finally lost it today, I actually moved the RV, plugged it into the house and started moving my crap into it!!! Until I heard, " Honey, are you depressed or something"
OMG, DUH DUH DUH DUH!!!!
To make a long story short, I was a smart ass (imagine that) he got pissed and was being a jerkoff and I told him to F-Off!!! (never done that before, did not like doing it now!)
You know it just amazes me that things have to get so far out of hand before he'll "handle" them!! SO,we had the big, " Family talk"
and you know how I feel.....WHATEVER.....I am still in my little depressed world where I want to crawl back into the darkness of my closet until its all over! I know depression, and believe me I am ok, I'm just not feeling like anything was resolved even though I know it was!
I need to beat the crap out of something, I am just still so frustrated and I know I need to calm down and hope for the best here, but I guess I just needed to vent really badly, I need to go to my Mom's tomorrow and have a good long cry on her shoulder and just get the rest of this $hit out of me once and for all or I am going to become part of the problem round here!!!
thanks for reading
Oh cj i'm sorry. It's unfair of them to wait till youre throwin your crap in the RV before they notice that you might be upset...der der der.
Hang out in the RV with some PEACE...tell them you are on a mental health visit and you'll be back when you feel like it.
Sometimes the ones we love take us for granted the most.
Hugzz
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It is so hard, and when you feel like you are battling it all alone it makes it even harder. I would take some much needed time for "me" even if it meant moving to the RV for awhile. (wish I had one, I know I would use it!!) Depression is tuff, I say that totally understanding as I have it also. It makes things so much worse when you feel like you get no support, no help, and no one notices that your in a "funk" and can't find your way out. Please know we are here to listen any time, and vent when you need too.
Nana2two, the no sleep thing is in the air lately. I have been having a awful time. I hope you can get some rest, even if you can't sleep be sure to take time to get some rest and put your feet up for a little while.
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good ideas gals....
CJ, I just gotta say "kuddos" to recognizing that you need to deal with this - and you are one SERIOUSLY strong woman ..... you amaze me!!
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good ideas gals....
CJ, I just gotta say "kuddos" to recognizing that you need to deal with this - and you are one SERIOUSLY strong woman ..... you amaze me!!
It sometimes does not feel that way!
I try to look at the "good" in all aspects and situations in my life,I also do my best to find humor in all situations (which sometimes gets me in hot water!!)
I was really having a hard time finding any good and/or humor in this one, so I had to speak up and when I did, it was ugly. I think that's probably why I am so "screwy" about the whole thing!
I am all too familiar with how you are feeling and what you are dealing with. I just had to have a come to Jesus talk with my husband within the last week. It is way too easy for him and my daughter to take advantage of me and I just had to put my foot down.
BIG BIG HUGS TO YOU.....feel better and get some "me" time even if it is in the RV.....which by the way sounds like a plan to me!!
Congratulations on being clean and sober...that is the greatest accomplishment!!
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Last edited by G'MaDebbie; 01-20-2009 at 09:50 AM.
Aww, I don't know if I can say anything that will help, just that I hope that you can get a break and some support that you need.
I also have to say congratulations on your resolve to not drink. It is the toughest thing that my DH has ever faced and he has been sober for 11 years not. (knocking on wood). I can tell you this from my daughter's prespective..........even though she seemed like she was oblivious to the drinking she said that she was able to not only love but like and understand him better sober. I hope this helps.
Last edited by LuvMyHubby; 01-20-2009 at 01:41 PM.
I know exactly how you feel when you aren't appreciated for all the work you do at home. I too fell into a depression a couple of years back and almost left hubby and kids. I knew that that wouldn't be good for my depression or the family so I stuck it out.
Things did get better but not until I "went on strike". I stopped doing laundry unless it was in the hamper and right side out, I stopped cleaning the bathrooms unless I could see the counters and floor, I stopped vacuuming and dusting because there was crap everywhere. Crap that wasn't mine. I was tired of cleaning up stuff that the kids and hubby were too lazy to pick up.
So they started asking where the clean clothes were and I said that I washed all the clothing that was put in the hamper correctly. It didn't take toooooooo long for them to wise up and know that mom meant business.
It is getting bad again around here and I may have to mention strike and see if they get the message.
What ever you do don't pick up the bottle, because that won't make things any better.
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Maybe you should take a week to yourself in the RV... Tell them you have gone to find some peace.... Maybe they will finally get it.
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