Anyone join a sorority during college? (kinda long)

**Luv2BeFrugal** · 01-24-2009, 02:16 AM

As some of you know, I'm back in college (after many years out). I'm really enjoying it!

When I attended before, back in the late 90's, I was in a specialized program and just focused on that...on finishing as quickly as possible.

As I'm looking around the college I'm really noticing all the clubs and sororities there are... I'm in a 5 year program now (this is my first year), so I'll definitely be there a long time...and I'd like to get more out of the "college experience".

Here's my 'issue'... I'm feeling "too old" to join a sorority. I looked at one of them and the oldest member is like 24 or 25??? And most of them are 18-22... I'm 31. I don't want to be a 'drag' to them...and don't know how well I'd fit in??? It looks like they're all single (I'm married)...so, I definitely wouldn't have the flexibility in schedule that they do.

On the other hand...most of the activities look like they'd be a blast! In reading through the bio's I've got a lot of hobbies in common with members... There were even a few other science majors...so, that would be nice.

I usually avoid new people and big groups like the plague! (I'm quiet/shy for the most part). Would like to 'make' myself push outside of my comfort zone...grow through this college experience in more ways than knowledge.

Anyway, there are 2 sororities and also an honors society/club that look intriguing. Should I try any of these? Or look into other opportunities? It feels odd to even consider it (yeah, it's all that outside my 'norm').

Thanks for being my sounding board! I really appreciate my 'Frugal Family'.

So, what should I do???

**forHISglory** · 01-24-2009, 11:07 AM

Hi,
Yes, I was in a sorority in college...... back in the 60s. Sororities were mostly social clubs, and some crazy things happened with them sometimes. But they also did volunteer works, etc. The one I joined was organized to be a social club, but had become mostly a club of girls who did charity work and tutoring. I wasn't into the drinking partying type of organization, which is why I joined the club that I did. I made some good friends, and we are still friends to this day and get together.

Looking back, I probably should have joined a club that was organized to explore common interests, rather than a sorority. The sorority had expenses and dues, which I paid thru working volunteer hours. But other campus clubs did not have all this expense.

Anyway, my advice would be to consider what your interests are, and pursue the interest.

**Luv2BeFrugal** · 01-24-2009, 04:46 PM

Originally Posted by forHISglory

Anyway, my advice would be to consider what your interests are, and pursue the interest.

I guess that's where I'm having mixed feelings on the issue...not knowing what direction to go. I enjoy chemistry, math, and physics... There aren't any clubs like that. There's a bio club...but, I'm not as 'into' that. It's fine, just not "exciting" to me.

I think honor society could be neat???

I really want to 'round out' the college experience...just not sure where I "fit"...kwim??

**lgw** · 01-24-2009, 05:04 PM

I started pledging a sorority when I was in college but quickly withdrew after I learned more about Greek life generally. I'm not a party girl, but that's what these girls did -- all of the time. And the sorority I was pledging was one of the more tame ones. It also was very cliquish, which made me uncomfortable. I also was required to go to socials at the frats -- basically hang out on a Thursday night with a bunch of beer-guzzling oafs. No thank you. To me, sororities and fraternities just are a way to buy a lot of friends your age when you first get to college.

I work at a university and the sororities (and fraternities) really seem to be geared toward undergrads, 18-22. Not even the single graduate students join them. As a married woman, I don't think you're going to have a lot in common with these young women, unfortunately.

Check to see if your university has a Non-Traditional Students Organization. It's for people like you (and me). And if your in grad school, join the grad school student group. You also might see if there's a study group in your program area. You also could check out Alpha Phi Omega, which is a service fraternity for men and women. I was involved in that in college and loved it.

**Luv2BeFrugal** · 01-24-2009, 05:26 PM

Originally Posted by lgw

I started pledging a sorority when I was in college but quickly withdrew after I learned more about Greek life generally. I'm not a party girl, but that's what these girls did -- all of the time. And the sorority I was pledging was one of the more tame ones. It also was very cliquish, which made me uncomfortable. I also was required to go to socials at the frats -- basically hang out on a Thursday night with a bunch of beer-guzzling oafs. No thank you. To me, sororities and fraternities just are a way to buy a lot of friends your age when you first get to college.

I work at a university and the sororities (and fraternities) really seem to be geared toward undergrads, 18-22. Not even the single graduate students join them. As a married woman, I don't think you're going to have a lot in common with these young women, unfortunately.

Check to see if your university has a Non-Traditional Students Organization. It's for people like you (and me). And if your in grad school, join the grad school student group. You also might see if there's a study group in your program area. You also could check out Alpha Phi Omega, which is a service fraternity for men and women. I was involved in that in college and loved it.

There *is* and Alpha Phi Omega on campus! I'll look into that!

Can you share some of your experiences? Like what kind of things did you work on? Friends you made? Anything that helped build you up in your degree studies??

Thanks so much!!

**forHISglory** · 01-24-2009, 06:00 PM

The girls in the sorority I pledged were very academic. We had study time every night and on weekends. We were expected to carry a 3.0 minimum grade average. We also did tutoring for girls who were having trouble. I tutored freshmen in writing essays, for example.

We also did clean up work on campus, sort of like people do now by adopting highways. We adopted a children's home and visited and worked there as volunteers. As I mentioned before, it was a sorority that leaned more toward service than partying. We held a formal dance and dinner in the spring, like a high school prom. And we had teas once in a while so that we could practice our social manners. That was about it.

**MamaTreadler** · 01-24-2009, 06:10 PM

Well, no one can really tell you what you should or shouldn't do. But having said that, I'll say that I'm 33 and there is no way in you-know-where that I would want to be in a sorority. It just seems like they are intended towards the younger set. Now, an academic club? Yes, perhaps that would be good. But to me, the sororities and fraternities are more for the young kids. Not the grown and married folks. But that's just my two cents.

**lgw** · 01-24-2009, 08:06 PM

Since Alpha Phi Omega (aka APO) is a service fraternity, we did a lot of community service -- yard work and house work for the elderly, building houses with Habitat for Humanity, etc. I wouldn't say it helped much with my career since APO is open to anyone from any major but it does look good on a resume. And since it wasn't academic, we didn't have study nights, but you're probably disciplined to take care of your studies without proding. But it definitely contributed to my overall enjoyment of getting my undergraduate degree and I met people from all walks of life. I went to school far from home so a lot of my APO brothers and sisters would take me home for family meals and holidays. We also had a lot of international students in APO and we would have big "family" dinners together, since we were all far from home. I learned so much about culture and cuisine from around the world through these folks.

If there's a Non-Trad Student Org at your U, definitely look into that. And any student clubs associated with your major/program. For example, usually there's an accounting club for accounting majors. At this time of year, they volunteer to help seniors with their tax returns. It's also a great networking opportunity.

**ncarr** · 01-24-2009, 08:12 PM

I was in a sorority in college and loved it. that being said, I don't think a married person in their 30s would like it. We had a girl who was 28 and she was considered "old". I was in APO in college and really enjoyed that too. I would look into that, Beta Beta Beta (biology honors society), or a non-traditional student organization.

**i.m.cheap** · 01-24-2009, 08:22 PM

I am a married, 47 year old college student. I belong to Phi Theta Kappa (an International Honor Society of two year colleges). My school also has a "Non-traditional student organization", but frankly, I am just too busy. I work 20 hours a week (also at the school, in the administration office), attend classes 13 hours a week, and have 20-30 hours of homework each week. I joined Phi Theta Kappa mainly for the scholarship opportunities, not to socialize, although there are many non-traditional students nearly my age in the group. I get plenty from the "college experience" just by attending class, and hitting the books HARD.

**Luv2BeFrugal** · 01-24-2009, 09:50 PM

Originally Posted by lgw

Since Alpha Phi Omega (aka APO) is a service fraternity, we did a lot of community service -- yard work and house work for the elderly, building houses with Habitat for Humanity, etc. I wouldn't say it helped much with my career since APO is open to anyone from any major but it does look good on a resume. And since it wasn't academic, we didn't have study nights, but you're probably disciplined to take care of your studies without proding. But it definitely contributed to my overall enjoyment of getting my undergraduate degree and I met people from all walks of life. I went to school far from home so a lot of my APO brothers and sisters would take me home for family meals and holidays. We also had a lot of international students in APO and we would have big "family" dinners together, since we were all far from home. I learned so much about culture and cuisine from around the world through these folks.

If there's a Non-Trad Student Org at your U, definitely look into that. And any student clubs associated with your major/program. For example, usually there's an accounting club for accounting majors. At this time of year, they volunteer to help seniors with their tax returns. It's also a great networking opportunity.

APO sounds great!

I'll look into that...

Also, will check the Honors Society...

There are 2 different things for honors...I'll have to check both.

I'm a chemistry major/math minor...considering a physics minor, too. There is no chem club, no math club, and no physics club.

There isn't a non-trad student club.

That would be neat...

I hope to get more involved...going to classes and hitting the books *was* my entire college experience before...and I feel like I really missed out on a lot (though, it was still a good experience).

One of the math tutors was trying to talk me into working part time at the math lab as a tutor... I think that might be a good experience, but I'm not good at handling an overly-full schedule...I end up overwhelmed and frustrated. I told him I'd consider it for next fall...I'll have to see what my course load is...