Uneasy about kids going to college

**redmaples** · 01-27-2009, 10:21 AM

Because I am a very frugal person...don't like to spend or create debt...and also because of all the talk of a bad economy...I am very uneasy about my 2 young college adults transferring up to other colleges.
I believe in supporting & helping them as much as we can & in any way we can...& these we have done & do. they are in final semesters of a BS & AS programs & each looking to transfer up to higher degree levels.
they are great students w/honor roll gpas, financial aid & some scholarships.
the BS psych student has incurred debt from just 2 years in University & will have to create much more to get through a masters program.
she has a paid for car, works full time on breaks & doesn't ask for $.
I pay her car insurance until she graduates from her program this spring.
D2 will transfer from community college to university after graduating this spring as well. she owes no $...yet. she is a biology major.

I know there are many people with student loans who aren't even working in their fields. I know some of them.

knowing this worries me & makes it hard to advise for continuing college plans. I want to encourage education, but it doesn't seem all that frugal or even practical. the tuition is NY is going up & the financial aid is being cut.

As a homesteading type person I believe in the importance of life skills & would like to see interests developed there as well. that is developing slowly as they are becoming more independent & not wanting to spend a lot either.

they already have many frugal skills...shopping at thrift stores & cooking....just a few.

We have made it this far, I am trying to have faith in my college students & their decisions & hope the best for them while keeping the homestead solid so there is always a home to come to.

does anyone else have this college student anxiety?

**shadowfax** · 01-27-2009, 12:37 PM

I don't have kids but I did go to a collage. It was more of a vocational type school though. Add it still was a big issue handling that 30K in loans.

For most young people I talk to I recommend just getting vocational training. Higher level collage is not a guarantee and most of the students don't wind up with those big paying jobs. And sometimes those degrees get in t he way of their getting the lesser jobs.

Honestly the schooling I got did not use at all for about 10 years. I am only just getting back into what I went for. If your kids are focused and working toward a specific career goal then perhaps they will make some use of it. Some kids use collage as a waste of time, never really focus on their future.

Those kids are wasting their collage money. It sounds like yours are better focused though.

**checks** · 01-27-2009, 12:51 PM

My middle son is paying as he goes. He works full time and has been taking one or two courses a semester. He'll be getting an
AA degree soon and then wants to spend two full time years in a nursing program. So, he has moved back in with us to save up. He'll have to reduce his working hours and will not be able to afford to pay his way.
So, I am glad he moved back in and is saving. He works at a hospital right now, so he'll have lots of experience and once he's finished his education, he'll be able to go right into nursing. It does frustrate me, at times, that it's taking soooo long. But, that's the way he wants to do it. He is not married and, right now, not dating anyone. So, he stays focused on saving.

Oldest son went right into working for a cable company after high school. He got some types of degrees in computers by taking courses on-line and his company paid for it. So, he is good at what he does and enjoys it.

We're all trying to help number 3 son get focused for his future. He's a teen parent and learning to be a good daddy to his daughter. But, just not sure what he wants to do with his life. We have an appointment set up to go to a career counseling for youth in PA. So, hopefully that can help him get some ideas as what to do.

**joyofsix** · 01-27-2009, 01:03 PM

My experience, I worked all through college and paid as I went. DD will be going in a year and has the same plan. It might take a little longer but it's worth it to not have an unmanageable debt load. It did mean being tired alot, working 3rd shifts and other things I wouldn't want to do now but it's not so bad at 20 or 22.

**The Muse** · 01-27-2009, 01:12 PM

I guess it depends on their career aspirations.

I think that in order to do anything with a psych degree, you need at least a Masters (if you want to work in that field). My FIL is a psych professor and my statement is based on things he's said over the years about his students.

I think an AS is a good start, but a Bachelors has become the new high school diploma, in that you need it to even be considered for many jobs.

DH has a Master's and graduated with about $40K in student loan debt. He is not working in his degree field, but the degree opened doors for him and he's already earned that $40K investment many times over and is in high demand, even in this market.

**Contrary Housewife** · 01-27-2009, 03:48 PM

There is more to college than a degree. They are learning how to learn, how to manage projects, how to interact with people different than themselves, being exposed to new ideas -- all very important "life skills". Even if they don't find work in the area they studied in your college grads will still have more opportunities and better options than kids who don't go or who don't finish.

Everyone I know who finished college has had better job opportunities in the long run than their brothers or sisters who did not. What they do with their paychecks is another story, but they at least have the doors open to them to reach very high goals.

I have a stepdaughter in college, and even though we can't pay much, we encourage her to pursue her education, knowing she will be much better off for it, even if it is a struggle at this point.

**frugal is fun** · 01-28-2009, 02:59 PM

I don't believe getting any type of education is a waste of money. now I'm not talking about the "frat" boys that drink their way through college, but it doesn't sound like your kids are these types. Even if your kids get a job in a different field than their degree, I still don't believe it would be wasted money.

However, I don't believe in giving anyone a free ride either. I was lukcy enough to get a job with a great company after I graduated highschool that offered tuitition reimbursement. I basically went to school for 12 yeras and graduated owening nothing. Not everyone is as lucky as I was.

Again however, I just opened up a 529 plan for my 4yr old son and I am contributing what I can which if it does as well as "predicted", then I will be paying 50% of his projected tuition. I am more than happy with this. He won't graduate owing thousands and thousands but he will have to work for it.

My parents didn't give me money but they did give me good advice, support and a good kick in the butt when needed.

**3tomboys** · 01-28-2009, 03:25 PM

I understand what you are going through. My oldest dd was accepted to an out of town college but has decided to stay home (rent and food are free if she is a full time student) and finish her college education here. We encourage education and feel it is worth while but that you don't have to go so far into debt you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.

**i.m.cheap** · 01-28-2009, 04:17 PM

A Psychology major needs a minimum of a Master's degree to work in that field. It sounds like your "kids" are good students. I would encourage them to continue their educations.

**AmyBoz** · 01-28-2009, 04:27 PM

I firmly believe that investing in your childs education is the best investment you can make. I agree with Muse who said that the Bachelor's degree is the new high school diploma. I know there are some people who have gone on to have successful careers without the college diploma, but those people are the exception, rather than the rule, and with the way this economy is, and will probably continue to be for many years to come, you want your kids to have every advantage they can.

This doesn't mean you have to pay for the whole thing, but if you are going to take out a loan, education is the place to do it, because it almost always pays off in the long run. They can work toward the tuition as well if that is something you feel is important.

My in-laws have never been good with their money and as their kids got older, they began to advise them to set their sights low. No, you can't go to this school or that school. You'll have to go to community college. There is nothing wrong with community college, but to tell your kids ahead of time that this is the most they can aspire to, I think, is doing them a great disservice. My one nephew wants to be a chef. Our local community college doesn't have that program, but because his parents didn't plan ahead (and then went on to have a total of 7 children and my sister-in-law refuses to get a job) it's his only option and he cannot pursue his dream at this time. He'll go to community college and will then go on to a school that has what he needs, but unfortunately, this will rack up more money he'll have to pay back in the long run.

I want my kids to have every advantage in life, and it begins with a strong education.

I hope I don't come off sounding too high horse here...it's something I feel very passionately about.

**lovestolaugh** · 01-28-2009, 05:18 PM

I completely understand your concern. My two kiddo's are 7 years away from college so I have some time. My kids are both good students with lofty goals. We encourage them to dream big and work hard. However, we also make it known to them that college will not be paid for by mom and dad. They have a college savings fund that they both contribute to and their grandparents opened a small college fund for them as well. We encourage them to look to the military or at least ROTC. My son very much wants to be a soldier. My daughter wants to be a veterinarian which they also need in the military. We will see how the world is at that time and advise accordingly. Our biggest lesson that we try to teach our children is to love what you do and to live within your means. Everything else should fall into place!

**rasilla** · 01-28-2009, 05:47 PM

I know in the last recession we were recent college graduates, and really it took us a bit to find work, but ultimately it was because of degree's that we had that we were hired. It's funny, because DH's job really doesn't require it/nor does he use his degree, but if he didn't have a MA they would not have considered him or given him some promotions. Often a degree is the only thing making you stand out compared to the "other" person.

I'd encourage your kids as much as possible to go for their educational dreams as long as they aren't racking up other debt or wasting their time partying or something.