Guest staying during Honeymoon

**Jmarie** · 01-30-2009, 09:19 PM

:censored:Okay.. I here is my rant, vent tirade etc.. But I was just pissed the f&*! off today by my family. I mean I love them and all but damn.. so here goes.

FI and I are getting married in Mexico, we only want "close" and "immediate" family and friends to attend (this should have been easy esp. since I am the black sheep). So my father has informed me that everyone in the family is so excited and already making arrangment to attend, now keep in mind, we have not sent out any info (save the date,invite,ect).

This afternoon, my Aunt, whom I haven't spoken with in 3 yrs decides to call me an say that her plus the other 4 "matriots" of the family have contact the resort (thanks to my dad) to get rates and plan to stay for two flipping weeks. Then she later tells me that they plan on staying from tues to tues (2wks), but I was like WTF.. thats our honeymoon..Why? I dont want to see you guys during my honeymoon..

Now, I understand that some people are making it there vacation, but dang.. I mean I am going to JA for a friends wedding, and staying a 5 nights, but I am in no way going to be at the resort during my friends Honeymoon, ending the trip the sunday after the wedding.

Is it rude to say, I would prefer you to travel during the June XX and end your trip no later than the Monday after the wedding. I mean we could stay another resort afterwards, but I jut saying.. I hope I am not being a bridezilla, but just wondering if anyone had encountered this.. and how you handled it.

After taking my deep breath I feel much better.. thanks guys

**Debbie-cat** · 01-30-2009, 09:26 PM

Yes, we had guests stay for the honeymoon but we also had our wedding in our backyard and the reception was for 3 days because of out of town guests....lol. Ours was a different situation so sorry....I don't have any suggestions except maybe get a really nice sign for your resort door that says ......"Sorry, on honeymoon. No visitors allowed!" Good luck and try not to get too upset. Sometimes people forget what it is like to be newly married.

**Michelle** · 01-30-2009, 09:33 PM

I would go somewhere else. I would hate to have my family around while I'm on my honeymoon. Oh, and I would keep the new destination a secret.

**bridge** · 01-30-2009, 09:47 PM

I would secretly elope.....

**Ceashels** · 01-30-2009, 09:47 PM

You can always send an appreciation note informing them that you will greatly enjoy their company for the wedding ceremony but not to expect to see you during your honeymoon as you and your groom will be
"behind closed doors." heeheehee Then make plans to escape to somewhere else.

**Nana2two** · 01-30-2009, 10:05 PM

That would stink, I would go elope and make the trip 2 weeks before the uninvited guest arrived.

**mombottoo** · 01-30-2009, 10:05 PM

So did you invite your aunt & the other 4 to your wedding? Or, are they just assuming they are invited?

You asked: "Is it rude to say, I would prefer you to travel during the June XX and end your trip no later than the Monday after the wedding."

Yes, it would be rude...but, I definitely hear what your beef is. You can't control other people, the only thing you can control is your reaction to other people's actions. That being said, if you didn't intend on inviting these relatives to your wedding...then tell them they are not invited and maybe they'll change their plans.

**jamie79** · 01-30-2009, 10:14 PM

I would elope and go somewhere that noone knows about and then have a party for the people you want at another time

**Jmarie** · 01-30-2009, 10:19 PM

Debbie-cat- I like this idea too.. will have to call the resort to see if they can hang Huge Do not disturb sign (similar to the welcome banners accross the doors)..

Michelle- Yeah, thats what FH says..

Bridge and Nana2two- Another Vote for FH.. lol.. "Girl I told you I dont care about no wedding, see here is what we do.., Go to the courthouse, buy plane tickets MIA, and cruise away",lol.. This is his solution..

Ceashels-I like this idea.. "behind close doors"..

momtbotto- No, no one has been invited, we havent even sent out any info.. as we are still planing.. but these 5 family members are they type would will show up regardless.. they are know for it.. So even if I didn't invite them, they would still come, they are my fathers sisters..

As you all can see, i havent mastered the multiple quotes yet..lol.. Thanks ladies..

**Ashie06** · 01-30-2009, 11:11 PM

i understand your frustration but having eloped myself, i missed out on the nice wedding with the pretty white gown and my dad walking me down the aisle

it saddens me.

in my opinion you should send out the invites with a note enclosed that says s'thing along the lines of "your presence during this time is greatly appreciated but we do ask that we are given the appropriate time to adjust to our new status as husband and wife. if you would like to reach us we will be back from our honeymoon on _______ and you may reach us at _____. again, thank you for coming."

hope that helps and everything works out. should you choose to elope, you could always have your formal wedding later on down the road. <3

also keep in mind, this is YOUR special day. you get to choose who is invited

tell them nicely "no" and if they dont listen, get firm.

and to multiple quote hit the button beside the "quote" button (it has a + sign on it and quotation marks) on any post you'd like to quote then hit "post reply" as you normally would and they'll be there

**Jmarie** · 01-31-2009, 01:46 AM

Ashie.. FI want to elope so that we dont have deal with things liek this.. in his opinion, weddings are overated.. but since he knows I really dont want to elope, hes fine with what ever I decide.. As far as my father walking me down the aisle.. umm yep,.. mom wants to do that.. thats a whole 'nother issue.. lol..

watch out now... I can multiple quote thanks Ashie..

**Patty A** · 01-31-2009, 03:51 AM

So do it a week or so earlier..... that way you could be ready to leave a day or two after they got there.....(haha)

**AdamantEve** · 01-31-2009, 04:34 AM

Aiee chihuahua.... i had to "tell" my family that i wasn't even inviting my own friends to my wedding, so not to invite theirs. that wasn't fun, but i was a poor college student- so i feel for you, sister.

i also went to a friend's wedding at a resort, but it was always the plan that everyone spend time together- and it was great fun for all 15 of us. The bride and groom did a fair bit of paid activities outside of the resort and special dinners together inside of the resort. I guess you could research that option if ppl don't leave when they are supposed to.

I also like the idea of going somewhere else that is secret after a few days at the resort-

i'll tell you that weddings are never easy to plan, so my advice is to go into it as relaxed as possible. let go of what you can't control and change what you can. that philosophy helped to make my wedding (with relatives from two continents traveling and involved) a wonderful experience.

best wishes.

**Bournecrazy** · 01-31-2009, 06:24 AM

I think you should just be blunt with your relitives and tell them that only immediate family are invited and tell them that you wish for them not to be in the resort at the time of the honeymoon, but if they insist on going still you can tell them they can not stay in teh same hotel as you, try going to the one next door at least they wont be in your face as much. Take as many day trips as possible lol.

I think if you decide to change the date and bring it forward without telling them, i think that they wouldnt be very happy that you already got married when they get there. I would rather just tell them now before you plan anything else that you do not wish for them to be there.

**Darlene** · 01-31-2009, 07:11 AM

My only comment besides congratulations is to speak up. Purse your lips together & say noooo. Go ahead, you can do it.

It's ok & definately not rude to tell your Dad & your Aunt & everyone else that you are having a small wedding and that you would rather be alone after the wedding has taken place. That's normal!
Don't stew over it or be shy and just hope or allude, tell them. They can stay at another resort, surely there must be more than one. Your wedding, your call, especially if you are paying for it. These people need to learn boundaries & that starts with you letting them know that although you love them dearly, this won't fly with you.

Have a grand Wedding & Honeymoon and happily ever after too.