Bedtime Routine for 2-Year-Old Question

QM · 02-12-2009, 08:07 PM

For those of you who have had a two year old...I have a few questions.

I am a SAHM of two daughters--ages 4-3/4 and 28 months. DD2 used to be hard to put to bed, but recently it has got a lot easier. What I do is giver her a bedtime snack, give her a bath (if it's bath night), change her diaper, put on her pyjamas, sing a song, pray and tuck her in. When DH tries to put her bed she has a tantrum..."Mommy put me to bed! Mommy put me to bed!" DH does everything I do; he switches the song to a story. DH is taking it personally and is really resenting putting her to bed.

Tonight it was crazy. While she was calm I told her that daddy would put on her pyjamas and brush her teeth and I would put her to bed. Even though I explained this she'd kick and scream and carry on. She was sure that even though I told her that I would put her to bed that DH was going to. Because of her tantrum and DH's frustration he turned the tables and said he would put her to bed. And he did.

What do you suggest? Should I be the only one to put her to bed or should we insist that a couple times a week DH puts her to bed? How should I incorporate DH starting to put her to bed without the tantrums?

**guest002** · 02-12-2009, 08:15 PM

My dd does that too. Most of the time I will just put her to bed. Sometimes a girl needs her momma. This phase doesn't last long for us when it comes around.

**AmyBoz** · 02-12-2009, 08:25 PM

Maybe you could both put her to bed. Do it together. Then she can gain confidence in the fact that daddy knows the routine.

**WV_mom_of2** · 02-13-2009, 07:24 AM

Originally Posted by AmyBoz

Maybe you could both put her to bed. Do it together. Then she can gain confidence in the fact that daddy knows the routine.

This is what I would do too. Have your dh in the room the whole time but you do the routine. After a week or so of this let him start helping. Let him hand you the towel after her bath. You,dh and her hold hands and let dh say the prayer, etc. Make a big deal out of Daddy helping. Let him gradually do more until she's comfortable with it.

Kids go through phases of wanting/not wanting one parent or the other for things. You will have to find a compromise here because you don't want dh upset but honestly, you don't want her upset and having a tantrum right before bed either. That just riles her up and makes it harder for her to fall asleep.

**SheKat** · 02-13-2009, 08:26 AM

Do it together, but make it a game. Put big 'L' plates on daddy and have your daughter teach daddy exactly how the routine goes. She gets to feel like a grown up and its done her way and its a fun situation.

**joyofsix** · 02-13-2009, 08:28 AM

I would either do it together or step out while he does it. Mine wants me if I'm here, but if I'm gone daddy is a-ok. You could just kiss her, say bye-bye and go sit in the car for 10-15 minutes of blessed peace, LOL.

**rasilla** · 02-13-2009, 09:05 AM

I would NOT go into her when she calls for you and asks for you (assuming your hubby is okay with fighting it out for a night or two). I would let her have Daddy and that's it for a few nights. It sounds like this is a two thing, an instance when she is trying to demonstrate her individuality and control over her routines. You are the parent and you and DH plan her routines, including who puts her to bed and how. She'll scream, she'll holler and she'll get over it - lol. Find something to do during the bedtime routine where you can't go in to her (like a shower or something) this way you get a chance to relax and she can learn to appreciate her Daddy too. Hope it gets better for you soon!

**Momto2Boyz** · 02-13-2009, 10:38 AM

I unfortunately don't have any advice for you! We are in the same situation here. My son is 5, and still does this! I have to put him to bed or there is a night long tantrum. For awhile we tried to have DH put him to bed, but he would literally scream and cry for HOURS!

So, we have not found a situation that works here. We tried putting him to bed together for awhile, but it didn't help when DH started doing it alone, same thing happened.

I hope you figure out a solution! For the most part here, it is no big deal, but some nights when I am tired, it would be helpful for DH to be able to put the kids to bed!

**MoonMommy** · 02-13-2009, 05:23 PM

My Dd used to do this. What happens if you aren't home during bedtime? Does she still put up a fuss? Maybe you could be away from the house a few nights a week so that Daddy is in charge of bedtime. Then, when she gets upset, and she will, he can just say "mommy had to go out." Eventually, you might find it will be HIM she wants. (cause that is the way it is here now, although, she will still accept me if we are in a hurry and daddy can't finish up both routines). I think this helped with us because I used to work PT at Bath and Body works at night. When I stopped working, I would sometimes go out for a bookclub or something else. Every mom needs a break, and sometimes the kids need to know that Daddy can do it just as well.

((HUGS))

**3LittleMonkeys** · 02-13-2009, 07:21 PM

Originally Posted by AmyBoz

Maybe you could both put her to bed. Do it together. Then she can gain confidence in the fact that daddy knows the routine.

Thats what I would suggest.

My kids are almost 5, 3 and 9 months.

**Nishu** · 02-14-2009, 01:30 AM

I agree with Paula- sometimes a girl just needs her momma.

On the other hand- maybe the trick isn't going to be getting daddy to do everything the same as mom. Maybe he needs a gimmick- something special that he can do that you won't. For example- she might like to play pretend for a few minutes before bed or have a short little tea party with dad. Find something that he does very well- something that she thinks is special- and incorporate it into the routine so that when needed you can pull that one out of the deck.

**Nana2two** · 02-14-2009, 02:18 AM

My grandson is 18 m and today i layed him down and he pitched a fit. Papa went right in there picked him up and he went right to sleep. I think its a security thing they go through it changes.