False Economies

**Milly** · 02-12-2009, 08:10 PM

I had a situation arise yesterday that has me bummed.

The mother of a good friend of mine died and I didn't know about it because I cancelled the newspaper a while back to save the $$.

In my small town, people don't call you about deaths (unless you're a close member of the family) but expect you to find it out through the grapevine or through the newspaper. Obviously, that didn't happen in this case.

Other than being very sad about the loss (she was a terrific lady) I feel very upset over missing her Memorial.

Anyway, this got me thinking. How many of us at FV have done something frugal only to have it back-fire on us? My parents would have called cancelling the paper a "false economy" since it actually cost me in the end.

**AmyBoz** · 02-12-2009, 08:45 PM

Interesting perspective. Thanks for sharing that!

**Persimmon Lace** · 02-12-2009, 09:32 PM

That's why I ended up starting up the paper again. I missed too much of the small town news that I really needed to be up on.

**sabrelvssammy** · 02-12-2009, 10:06 PM

thanks guys.... i was just thinking this afternoon that i want to canel the paper coz there is never anything 'new' in it..all the 'small town news'... you guys have made me re-think it....

**pbobber** · 02-12-2009, 10:18 PM

Our small town newspaper is a weekly. If I want to read it, I do so while I'm at the library

**Luv2BeFrugal** · 02-13-2009, 01:52 AM

Ours is totally online... I do prefer to read paper instead of computer screen, though...call me old fashioned.

Neat perspective! But, that is too bad you missed the memorial. Sounds like you should get it again...

**Rosebush3** · 02-13-2009, 07:56 AM

Check with a friend or neighbor or someone who you know gets the paper and ask if you can have it when they are finished with it, they'd probably be happy to not have to recycle it themselves.

I agree with the online, check and see if your newspaper is offered that way. It's free and you don't need to recycle it. I find it to have more info online anyhow and I can see the day coming when all newspapers as we know them will be history. You can get news that is happening today instantly instead of reading about what happened the day before.

**joyofsix** · 02-13-2009, 08:06 AM

I cancelled and read online. Hmm, a false economy. I will no longer buy clothes at Walmart. For me at least, they shrink or tear so quickly there's no point. I can get them just as inexpensively at K-mart or Penney's on sale. (Sometimes cheaper if it's a good sale). It's not cheap if you have to replace it twice as often, KWIM. I spent a little more on the vinyl flooring in our upstairs for the same reason. Those are the little kids' rooms and I needed something that would hold up.

**mombottoo** · 02-13-2009, 08:38 AM

Sorry you missed your friend's mother's memorial service. The economy is based on money or goods trading hands. So while I understand your feeling of guilt/sadness over missing the memorial, I don't agree that stopping the newspaper is a form of false economy.

Granted it did cost you knowing about the memorial, but it saved your family a set number of dollars that you were hopefully able to put to a better purpose for your family. If you are concerned about this happening again you can do what others have already suggested and you could let everyone you know in on the fact that you don't get the newspaper and they will have to call you in the event of births/weddings/deaths/engagements/etc..

**Milly** · 02-13-2009, 09:39 AM

Originally Posted by mombottoo

If you are concerned about this happening again you can do what others have already suggested and you could let everyone you know in on the fact that you don't get the newspaper and they will have to call you in the event of births/weddings/deaths/engagements/etc..

Ah, well, this is where my original plan fell apart. I trusted two people to call me in the event of her death, but neither of them did.
They're off my Christmas card list, for sure!!

We also have the newspaper on line and at the library, and I do read it both places, but this was just one of those fall-through-the-cracks kind of things.

Any suggestions on a frugal tribute to her memory, now that the memorial is over? How would you make up for missing such an event?

**rosey7415** · 02-14-2009, 05:37 AM

happens.

don't feel bad about it. what i would do if she is a good friend of mine, i would go over with a little basket of blueberry muffins wrapped in a nice checkered material napkin, a couple of tea bags, sugar packets, paper napkins, and/or a couple of cups of coffee purchased somewhere and apologize for missing the event. that should clear everything up and show her that you really are sorry. i'm sure she would appreciate the face to face and your warm thoughts.

**Darlene** · 02-14-2009, 07:22 AM

We people need to talk to each other more and not assume that someone knows something. You know the saying about assuming anything...
I'm sorry a neighbor or friend or family member didn't let you know & you should feel bad for the loss but not feel bad for your canceling the paper. They are 2 different things and you are not the only one who didn't know. Everyone doesn't know everything and if your friend is your friend she will know you meant no harm and would have been there had you known.
I would make something bring it to your friend and go give her a hug. I'd also give a donation to a favorite charity of her mothers.
Don't beat yourself up about this.

**Spirit Deer** · 02-14-2009, 08:59 AM

If you would have given money at the memorial, go ahead and do so now, even though it's late. The family still probably has bills to pay for the funeral or maybe the headstone, whatever. Or if they don't need it, they can choose to donate it to a charity or use it in some other way.

I like the idea of the muffins and coffee, too. I'm sure your friend would be glad to hear you had simply not known and not that you were intentionally ignoring the situation.

**Milly** · 02-14-2009, 10:36 AM

I appreciate all your suggestions, and I really do like the ones about the muffins and coffee, but she's a MUCH better baker than I am (as well as just about every other house-wifely virtue).

I sent a sympathy card with my abject apologies in it and hope she accepts it. Frankly, I may be getting a little self-obsessed about this - God knows, she has other things to concern herself with right now than my feelings.

The family asked that donations be made to Hospice, so I think I'll go with that. It's a good service to support at any time.

Thanks, everybody.

**rosey7415** · 02-14-2009, 10:50 AM

that sounds great milly!

i just have to add.....that i never said i would "bake" the muffins......whoa! that is so not me. in real life anyone that knows me would laugh at even the thought of me baking......

i would buy them....and put them in my basket...roflmao!!! i am soooooo not a baker either......lol