loud people

**perSue** · 02-19-2009, 08:16 AM

i never thought of myself as a loud person - but everyone else in my life considers me loud. lol
i apparently talk too loud, and i know i laugh too loud.
and get comments made about how they dont like "loud people" & make eyes towards me.
so i guess i am.
just curious, any one else seemingly 'naturally' this way?
do you do anything to try to not be?
i wish i were more quiet & timid-like... but if something really hits me as funny, i just laugh, i dont pay attention to it, it just sorta bursts out... but it's not liked.
just wondering how to change?

**Denvergirlie** · 02-19-2009, 08:23 AM

I get it ALL THE TIME.
People tell me I talk loud, tell me to lower my voice.

I don't notice it, but with as many people have told me this over the years it must be true.

**thefrug** · 02-19-2009, 08:36 AM

Do Not Change!!! You stay You! I'm big and loud and have Ink and I don't care. LOL It used to bother me that people were afraid of me, but now I like it. They shy away from you and leave you alone LOL! It's great! I talk loud. Always have. That was the house I grew up in. So what? pppffttt! who cares. Life's too short hun to worry if people think you're too loud and laugh with life instead of conforming. Do Not Change!

**annymoll** · 02-19-2009, 09:01 AM

Loud people, to me, come across as intrusive and sometimes rude.There are several self help books that will help teach tone and pitch.I would say if you feel it is part of your personality, and you like it, to stay the same.I would only change something that I felt needed improvement.

**mombottoo** · 02-19-2009, 09:09 AM

My niece, my gd and my dd are all loud people, they all have major hearing issues. Have you had your ears checked? Generally people who experience hearing loss tend to be louder since they can't tell how loud they are talking.

**cheles2kids** · 02-19-2009, 09:09 AM

I'm not loud, but I have a best friend who is & as much as I love her, I can only take it so long.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging you or anyone else in this thread, but from an "outsiders" perspective, it's not so much the laughing & goofing off thing, it's more a decibel thing to me.
In other words, it has nothing at all to do with her as a person, I personally, on an emotional level, just can't handle it for extended periods of time.
After awhile it gives me a

.

Kinda like if your in a large room with alot of noise going on at once.
I think people just have varying degrees of being able to handle it.

She & I have talked about it several times (and I'm not the only friend of hers that has told her about how loud she is) and she can't figure out why she's this way?
Even when she calls me on the phone I have to turn the volume down on the phone or else I have to hold it away from my ear.
Yeah, it's that bad.

I asked her if she grew up in a 'loud' family and she says no, but both her & her husband & two boys are loud.
I don't know if they feed off of each other or what?

Oh & people don't consider me quiet or timid or anything, I'm not soft-spoken, but I'm more aware of my volume maybe than she is?
I dunno.

*I just saw Mombotto's post & for my friend, her hearing is fine. Although you bring up a very valid point.)

**checks** · 02-19-2009, 09:11 AM

I am hearing impaired, so I love loud people!! lol

My family always teases me that I am tooo loud. I'm told that I have a blood curdling scream at everyday stuff (like the cat surprising me and jumping up on my stomach etc). But, I don't know if I can change that kind of stuff. I've very emotive and it's out before I have a chance to think. lol

**perSue** · 02-19-2009, 09:16 AM

well i have no hearing issues... actually i can't stand loud stuff myself...
i hate the tv when the boys watch it... it's excrutiatingly loud to me.

if nothing else, my hearing is super sensitive... I can hear son's phone going off - on vibrate!- from the other end of the house... lol he thinks he's being sneaky! But I know! LOL

I didnt grow up in a loud house - i always got punished & yelled at for being loud.

I'd just prefer NOT to be this way. I want to be a quieter talking/laughing person. I just dont know how.
I seem to get on EVERYone's nerves - family, friends, coworkers, etc. And I'm tired of the comments.

Any recommendations on how to do this? thanks

**cab54** · 02-19-2009, 10:57 AM

I have been having to watch how loud I'm becoming because the two people I talk to most in life (my dad and my dh) are getting more and more hard of hearing.

When I'm out and about, or with a normal-hearing person, I have to stop and think about how loud I need to be.

I never used to be like this. Sometimes my first greeting with people is kinda loud, till I hear myself. Then I quiet down a bit.

perSue, you always came across in your posts as kinda quiet and shy!

**DaisySue** · 02-19-2009, 11:08 AM

I truly understand how you feel. I sometimes make a concerted effort to talk more quietly cause people tell me all the time I am too loud. Sometimes they are very rude about it and hurt my feelings. I think it is just the way I am and I could try to change it but it would not be easy or natural for me to talk softly or laugh quietly.

**perSue** · 02-19-2009, 11:09 AM

lol thanks cab54.
i wish everyone else thought that too - even myself!

i dont talk so much anymore... i keep most things inside. no one to really "talk" to anymore i guess.
but when i do i guess i'm "too loud" for everyone else.
i know i laugh really loudly... it bothers even me... and what hurts more are the dirty looks i get from others who've stopped laughing cuz i'm too loud.

i wouldnt mind just being a quiet shadow...

**perSue** · 02-19-2009, 11:10 AM

So DaisySue, is it something you have to learn to control then?

i mean, i can see about talking more quietly... i can try to learn that.

but what about laughing? it seems i annoy others. if something strikes me funny, for me it's natural to laugh... but how do i "tone it down" as i get told so often?

thanks

**tbs727** · 02-19-2009, 11:20 AM

I think I know what you mean about loud people. My grandmother was loud, loud talker, high pitch. I also have friends that are the same way. One friend in particular. Sometimes I wonder if it's because he's used to talking over people to get attention, I don't know. It makes my animals nervous, they are always frantic when he's around. Probably because they are used to our voices that are low and kind of quiet. I think it's largely a personality thing or a result of the kind of environment you grew up in. One person that I deal with at work is a loud person, but it doesn't seem to affect him in his job, he's very successful.

**lovestoread** · 02-19-2009, 11:52 AM

This is something I have always struggled with...I have a pretty outgoing personality, and am a loud talker and laugher too.....my dad is the same way...also a couple of cousins, too...anyway, I am a hairdresser and some of it I blame on the blow dryer, trying to talk to customers over the noise of it, and I really think it has really started to impair my hearing .....after 24 years of a blow dryer in my ear 4-5 days a week has to do something....I have had a rude customer say something to me before about me talking loudly....but he is an @%% anyway and no longer a customer (thank God)....I also have some elderly customers who are very hard of hearing and have to talk loud to them....I am more aware of it after they have been here and try to tone it down then....something else I struggle with is being in groups and being loud and saying stupid things and it's like I cannot stop myself,,,, I wish I could just SHUT UP sometimes, I wish I could change this about myself.....

**Jayne** · 02-19-2009, 11:56 AM

I can be loud when something is funny..but most of the time I'm pretty quiet...dh is loud, but he is losing his hearing...It does'nt bother me when someone is loud, unless I have a headache,LOL...Be who you are!!!