Having Trouble

**LynnLC** · 02-22-2009, 10:48 PM

Hi all- Lately I'm having trouble letting go of the past. I know I should be living in the moment but I find I'm focusing on past mistakes and events. Especially at night- it's like I cannot find my brain's off button. I am driving myself crazy. Does anyone else ever feel like this? Thanks for listening-

**TigerGirl1226** · 02-22-2009, 11:00 PM

Yeah, I hear ya. Sometimes at night when I should be falling asleep I start thinking about mistakes I've made, but I just have to push them aside and think about what I've done right to move on.

**LynnLC** · 02-22-2009, 11:31 PM

Thanks Tiger. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies...

**Michelle68** · 02-22-2009, 11:38 PM

Originally Posted by TigerGirl1226

Yeah, I hear ya. Sometimes at night when I should be falling asleep I start thinking about mistakes I've made, but I just have to push them aside and think about what I've done right to move on.

The most important thing, I think, is to realize that we're all human and none of are perfect. I sometimes think about past mistakes, but then I realize that those mistakes make up part of who I am and I would never learn in life if it weren't for the the mistakes I've made.

**Contrary Housewife** · 02-23-2009, 12:04 AM

I find it helps if I try not to get too upset about it. I know that sounds like a cliche, but it's true. Memories are tied to emotions. If you think about something in your past and it makes you angry or unhappy, try to separate the emotion from the memory. It's ok to have regrets and recognize mistakes you made, but don't preserve the hurt and the frustration.

Something I found that helps keep me from laying awake at night is herbal tea. I use Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime Extra and it really seems to help.

**phoeny_moonstar** · 02-23-2009, 12:12 AM

Sorr to hear that you are having these feelings. I know that it is very hard to let go of the past. But sometimes not thinking about it actually helps. I know that may sound weird, but eventually time will heal it.

Hope this helps!!

**Jskell911** · 02-23-2009, 06:07 AM

I, too, find myself doing this. But then I remember that those mistakes have made it possible for me to be the person I am today. And I like the person I am, so.....

Hope you are better able to deal with this soon.

**Momto2Boyz** · 02-23-2009, 06:59 AM

I used to do this all the time. I was a "worry-ier" by nature, and couldn't help it. Night time was the one time that I had to get my thoughts straight. For years, I had sleepless nights thinking about all the things in my life that have gone wrong.

And this sounds stupid (and kind of infomercial-ish), but one book changed everything. I read the 7 habits of Highly Effective people and it totally changed my perspective on life. All the talk about shifting how you view the world, really made a difference.

I literally choose to see the good (and deal with the bad only when it will make a difference)...this book literally turned me from a pessimist into an optimist. If you haven't read it, I strongly suggest it!

Now, when I lay down to sleep, I do my best to think about what went right with the day, and if something went wrong, instead of dwelling on it, I think of how I can make sure the next day goes differently...it's a much sunnier way to view my life. And I think my attitude is a whole lot healthier for it!

**LynnLC** · 02-23-2009, 08:47 AM

Originally Posted by Momto2Boyz

I used to do this all the time. I was a "worry-ier" by nature, and couldn't help it. Night time was the one time that I had to get my thoughts straight. For years, I had sleepless nights thinking about all the things in my life that have gone wrong.

And this sounds stupid (and kind of infomercial-ish), but one book changed everything. I read the 7 habits of Highly Effective people and it totally changed my perspective on life. All the talk about shifting how you view the world, really made a difference.

I literally choose to see the good (and deal with the bad only when it will make a difference)...this book literally turned me from a pessimist into an optimist. If you haven't read it, I strongly suggest it!

Now, when I lay down to sleep, I do my best to think about what went right with the day, and if something went wrong, instead of dwelling on it, I think of how I can make sure the next day goes differently...it's a much sunnier way to view my life. And I think my attitude is a whole lot healthier for it!

I am a worrier too. I just reserved the book at my library. Thank you so much Momto2boyz!

**SweetPea** · 02-23-2009, 09:21 AM

What has helped me, is just writing it all down. Somehow, by writing them down, they become concrete and I can deal with them better. If I just lie there and do nothing the thoughts just roll over and grow. I hope you find a helpful way to deal with them.

**Milly** · 02-23-2009, 09:39 AM

Originally Posted by LynnLC

Hi all- Lately I'm having trouble letting go of the past. I know I should be living in the moment but I find I'm focusing on past mistakes and events. Especially at night- it's like I cannot find my brain's off button. I am driving myself crazy. Does anyone else ever feel like this? Thanks for listening-

I was a fretter as a kid, but my dad (bless him) kept hurling poetry at me to replace it with. It might not work unless you're at an impressionable age, but try memorizing this one. Repeat as needed.

The road to wisdom? Well, it's plain
And simple to express.
Err
and err
and err again,
but less
and less
and less.

**rudypoo98** · 02-23-2009, 01:06 PM

I dream about things like my ex husband leaving me for his new wife ,the drunk.I wake up all upset wanting to beat their brains out, which considering they don't have many it wouldn't take long.I've found if I leave the TV on all night ,CNN usually, I don't dream at all.

**Debbie-cat** · 02-23-2009, 01:18 PM

I too suffer from that at night. Lately it has been difficult to fall asleep and then all those thoughts come into my head and won't leave. I am going to look for that book too that momto2boyz suggested.

**Bournecrazy** · 02-23-2009, 03:53 PM

Originally Posted by TigerGirl1226

Yeah, I hear ya. Sometimes at night when I should be falling asleep I start thinking about mistakes I've made, but I just have to push them aside and think about what I've done right to move on.

i need to think like that, focus on the good things rather than the bad points

**mom2bobsarah** · 02-24-2009, 09:03 AM

I too have this problem occasionally. Maybe try getting a few books for your nightstand and reading for about an hour or so before bed with a nice warm drink like tea or cocoa. This would help me to unwind and refocus my brain before bed. good luck and I hope you start sleeping better.