neighbors...

[perSue]

i know a thread like this was made maybe a year or two ago... but i wanted to ask if your neighbours have been acting a more or less social - due to the economic times.

now the neighbours i have, well they keep to themselves. Of the dozens of neighbours we have, I think I know maybe 4 of their names. I say hi when i see them, wave to them and am polite... But they don't do the same back - to anyone.

But i've also noticed even more isolation and lack of communication now that times are tighter on everyone.

IMO, these are times when we come together, closer, to help others out. but it seems the more hardship we encounter, the more isolated we make ourselves.

And I've tried to offer help, simple things, like carrying groceries up the stairs to just their door, not even inside their home. but I get such freaked out reactions, I dont offer anymore.

Have any of you noticed anything different among your neighbours?

[MomToTwoBoys]

Nah, my neighbors have always been the same way. The ones on the other side of the yard are still stuck up, the ones in the other half of the duplex are great and the ones next door to them are fantastic.

[WV_mom_of2]

It's hard for me to say because we are the ones who aren't really social. Dh works rotating 12 hour shifts an hour from home and he's actually gone 14 1/2 hours a day. The kids attend two different schools and neither play sports and they don't have after school clubs here. We are just homebodies.

We only have one set of actual neighbors since we live in the country. There are other families out on the main road that we know but only one other family here on our little dirt lane. To be honest I don't want them to be social with me LOL. They are mean, nasty people who use drugs, steal, threaten to sue everyone,etc. The more they ignore us, the better I like it!

I do find that people are talking more in the stores and sharing good deals and tips on saving money. When I see my friends out in a store we always share what's on sale, where we got a good deal on something or just a little something we are doing to save money.

I don't know where you live but could it be fear that is causing people to look at you funny when you offer to help them? Has crime gone up alot in your area? Maybe, if they don't know you well, they are afraid you want to carry their things to their door, then rob them? Elderly people especially might be living in fear like this. I'm not saying you'd ever do that, but if they don't know you maybe they are afraid of you? I think it's great that you offer to help and I hope you will continue to do so!

[BlessedMomof2]

Our neighbors have not changed, they are the same towards us as they always have been.

[perSue]

WV_mom - good point. I didnt think of that.
We dont have a lot of crime where I live, but many of the people who live in this little neighbourhood are older, so maybe it is simply fear of not knowing me.

where i grew up, not the best neighbourhood, but people still helped when they saw you needed it, without question, without expecting anything in return.
It just seems that idea is long gone.

I do still say hi and smile when I see these ppl... I just get looked at. But maybe one day they'll say hi back.

[mommy4ever]

I think people are as people are. Good times and bad. I've lived here for nearly 8 years now. We have people 3 houses down that I've never met. We had one neighbor that was terrible, she sold the house, they aren't all that social, but say hi when they see us. I have 1 fantastic neighbor that has helped us, and we them. Everyone else is ok, just not the communities like we grew up in, where the teens mowed the seniors lawn, helped shovel sideewalks. It's just not 'that' world anymore.

[rainbowgc]

No ours have not changed. Most around here are retired.

[thefrug]

Well, the ones that I'd like to go are still here *sigh* The ones I wanted to stay, left. A retired farmer and his wife. They moved toward the east more to be near their daughter and other family members. The other retired folks are still the same. We help each other when needed. I make him cranberry sauce and homemade bread ( his wife doesn't know how) I share my garden vegies with them when the deer and squirrels ate theirs. They bring home big bags of bones for my 2 pups when they butcher meat. He helps us when we need to repair the dirt lane. Now if only the other 2 pain in the arses would just leave.......

[Missy]

Our neighbors are all the same s ever. Anti social, kind of cranky. Except our newest ones. they are great and i like em bunches. They don't hesitate to chat up me or the kids and are fun to talk to.

[UUMomof3]

Our neighbors are about the same. We see far less of them lately, because it's winter. I know the family next door was disappointed when we decided not to send our kids to the neighborhood school. For my part, I really hate their dog that barks through the fence if my kids are in our yard playing. Nice people, great kids who are polite and friendly and like to play with my kids. Obnoxious, ill-trained, territorial, agressive, barking dog.

But really, the folks around here are friendly but stand-offish. I wish for a more neighborly feel, but it just isn't going to happen.

[Dancing Lotus]

we only know three of our neighbors. One moved and the others ones divorced so now we are down to one. He is a single father and not home much. The rest of the street, I barely know what they look like.

I don't' know what happened to all the friendly neighborhoods but you just don't' see many of them. It's just as much my fault as anyone's,I don't spend much time outside.

[perSue]

I too wish for the friendlier neighbourhoods I recall as a kid. I did my part in helping rake leaves, mow lawns, help take in groceries or babysit - or anything else I was asked to do.
But that just isnt the case anymore... I understand things change... but what are we doing for our kids? I know my ds and his friends think I'm crazy when I mention what we used to do for our neighbours...

it just isnt so anymore. and i'm sad about that.
i guess that's why also i cant make friends with any of the neighbours... no one is willing to take a chance to smile or say hello cuz they're afraid "they're out to get you."
maybe i'm just naive - but I'll talk to a treestump if it'll listen.

[checks]

I was closer to the neighbors when the boys were younger. We have lots of neighbors since it's in a older development. All are friendly except for the one guy right in our back yard. But, honestly, nobody likes him. He is the kind that hates everybody and has to have everything in his yard perfect. I could tell stories. But, he has settled down more and leaves us alone most of the time. If he comes over for any reason, I tell hubby to deal with him. He's more diplomatic than me! His wife is nice though. It's really her home and he moved in for awhile. Then she kicked him out due to his drinking. He sobered up and then they got married. Man, that was a gloomy day for me!! But, I try to stay out of his way as do the kids and we are fine.

[bonnotsm9]

Our neighbors are friendly. Two different ones have plowed the street and our driveway after it has snowed. The lady behind us brings over goodies for the kids leftover from having her grandkids over. Others have given us toys and clothes their kids don't use anymore.

We do things for our neighbors as well. This year were are doing a garden together with another neighbor. His business closed due to the poor economy. We're buying the seeds and he's arranged with another neighbor to use part of his property for a larger garden spot.

I think we live in a very unusual community in this respect, but we like it here.

[Cricketlegs]

Funny you should post this. Just yesterday on a whim I made myself a cup of decaf and went next door to chat with my neighbor. She is a retired lady and loves when I come to chat. She acted a bit funny when I first came over, not talking much but got out of it pretty fast.

turns out she has been ill and worried about it and it seemed to help her to talk about it a bit.