Silent DH

[Guest57]

Okay...I could use a bit of advice here! For the last couple of weeks, my dh has come home and done nothing but work out and watch the news, and then help with the girls homework. But he hardly speaks to me AT ALL!! He finally had to go out of town on business for a couple of days, and when he came home all of a sudden he was all snuggly-like, which is fine...but what is UP with the silent treatment for the past weeks?! He finally says that he is just worrying about the economy...WHO ISN'T?!?!?! Am I the only one who has a DH acting weird, or is this just the way they behave when under stress? I have never experienced this with him before and we're going on 10 years of being married...would LOVE some words of wisdom!!

[perSue]

I think sometimes men just hold on to things that bother them until they figure out how to deal with it or fix it. and sometimes talking it out just doesnt work for them. i doubt it has anything to do with you at all... it's just he didnt want to get into a discussion and possibly upset you, knowing that -we as women- really worry when our men are worried. lol

i'd just take it as that. and when he comes back from his trip, talk to him. let him know that everything at home is ok. and if he needs anything you're there.

sometimes just letting them know "i'm here" can mean a lot and he may even open up to you. men just process things a little differently... ie, less verbally, than us women.

I'm sure it's nothing he won't share with you soon.
Keep yer chin up.

[mombottoo]

It's not unusual for people to behave the way you dh did when they are really deep in thought...generally, that means worrying. I'm glad he finally broke through his silent streak...I hate it when my dh closes me out. Makes me feel like I might have done something. Let him know you guys are a team and whatever the future brings you will face it together.

[pollypurebred39]

Hello my Friend,

Oh my, they say women are hard to understand, but men are equally frustrating at times. I think this economy has a lot of us in a funk, and men get super worried about not being able to provide for their families. I know my husband does, he tends to get tunnel vision and does not want to talk about anything stressful, even if it is important, almost as if he is at the edge of the cliff and just one one thing will push him right off the edge. So I get the distance thing because if my husband had to have a disscussion with with me it would mean he would have to deal with real life and real problems and he just can't right now. He just flat out says I'm not talking about that and If he would not look like a 4th grader he would probably put his hands over his ears and sing LA, La, La. He has checked out for the most part and just keeps doing what he's got to do to pay the bills. We women just can't check out though or our kids lives, the household would just crumble at our feet. Hang in there my friend, I believe there's light at the end of this tunnel.

[MoonMommy]

Like some of the others said, I think some people just hold onto their worries/frustrations. Maybe they don't want to worry their loved ones.

[butterflygreen]

I think it could just be stress. I hope it all works it selfout.

[Starlight9803]

like the others said, it's probably just stress. I know that when my DH seems quiet and distracted, it's usually because something is bothering him.

[Lady_V]

Maybe he was stressed about the outcome of the out-of-town meeting... a lot of people are worried about their jobs and it depends on something else falling in to place.

[mommy4ever]

I hate the silent treatment! I think it's immature, and dumb...oh wait, we're talking men here.

Dh does that too! He's closing you out to "protect" you from the stress. LIttle does he know, he's causing you more. This is a defect in the Y chromosome that is truly not a y but an x with a little tag fallen off. NO rhyme or reason to their rationale sometimes. It's how it is.

Hopefully he snaps out of it.

[DJ1972]

I agree, he's probably just worrying. My dh is the same way, if he is worried about something, especially something to do with his ability to be the provider (economy), he will go outside and tinker with something just to be alone to think.

[HandyMom]

I bet it's just what he says it is and nothing more. When we talk about our problems, men step up and try and solve them for us whether we like it or not. On the other hand, they don't expect us to solve their problems for them so they keep it to themselves while they ponder on how to solve it without our help. Always the rescuer and never the rescued. Or something like that.

[Debbie-cat]

I am sure it is just stress. All men are weird!

[ilovechocolate]

He's a man. Enough said.

[rainbowgc]

I think anyone can go through a period of being quiet and not notice that it is bothering the other person. if you are deep in thought about say the economy and your job, maybe you just need to work out your own thoughts before talking about.