Question number 2 about teenagers

**pop goes the weasel** · 03-05-2009, 07:20 AM

I'm just full of them........Why do they have to sneak things? Our problem is food. When we aren't here my 14 yeara old sd will eat anythinging sight.I had a full container of whipped cream for a recipe I was making. When I went it get it there may have been a tablesppoon left. Cheese ,starts out the day with a full pack, by supper there's one little piece. I could go on and on. We've had to lock the freezer because she will stand eat stuff and not be sure the door is closed. We almost lost everything in it the last time it happend. She isn't starving in fact she eats more than her dad at a a meal. She has three meals a day and then some. I happy it isn't all junk but she is putting on weight. We have tried to explain about health issues in her dad's family, diabetes,cancer ect. But it doesn't matter. I found a 12 pack of empty pop cans (we have those for her dad's lunch) and dirty bowls in her dresser drawer. She isn't allowed to eat in her room to begin with. I had stuff ready for supper one night and when I got back from picking up her dad, most of it was gone. Don't get me wrong we don't forbid her to eat, we just want her to know that the way she is eating isn't healthy and to let us know if she eats the last of something. Any suggestions?

**ladykemma2** · 03-05-2009, 07:28 AM

it sounds like you do not have enough food available to nosh on. let her pick some items when you go to the store. get real clear about what is needed for dinner, and what she can have. if she is in a sport she is ravenous when she gets home.

food controllers can be real irritating, and hungry kids will start hiding food. cokes hidden in the bedroom, well, pick your battles.

**justpeachy92** · 03-05-2009, 07:36 AM

I do think it is a normal phase for some kids to go through, the sneaking of food. I do understand your health concerns though. My thoughts would be to set her up a cupboard, or some fridge spot and tell her this is what she is allowed to snack on. These are the snacks she has for the week and when they are gone they are gone, it will get restocked next week. I would also question if her eating is an emotional thing, a way she has found to deal with stress. Another thought for me is to have her talk to a dietician, if your dd is anything like my kids they seem to take advice better from what they consider to be a professional then from me. I remember seeing an article a couple weeks ago about how some insurance company are allowing kids to have a certain number of free dietician visits a year in an effort to combat childhood obesity. If you have health insurance and your insurance company is providing this service maybe it would help your dd.

**Lady_V** · 03-05-2009, 07:38 AM

There may be more than meets the eye. I see the clear patterns of emotional eating here. I know... because I wrote the manual for it.

The LAST thing I cared about was family health history! Lectures? In one, out the other. Instead of trying to lock up the food, try finding out what is CAUSING her to want to bury her feelings in food. Is it a birth-mom thing? School? Friends? Teen Angst? Depression? (and no mom wants to hear this one...) Sexual?

My birth-dad was not a key player in my life... my step-dad could have won awards for being the

of the year. Mom worked FT. I had to take care of my brother after school, clean house, laundry, cook dinner etc. My friends at school were starting to pull away because I couldn't *be there* with them because of a lot of home responsibilities.

Every aspect of my life was under the direction of someone ELSE. Eating was something *I* could control... I went all over the scale. Name an eating disorder and I went through it. Odd thing was... when I was refusing to eat - no lectures. I only got squawked at when there was food in my face.... but it was attention. I needed attention. I needed HELP. I was a bundle of confusion on the inside, no one to help me sort things out... but food was always there, and as long as food was there, Mom would pay attention to me (even if it was to give me yet another lecture about this or that and to tell me how I will never be pretty) unfortunately, none of the attention she gave was positive or remotely helpful.

**tigo** · 03-05-2009, 08:03 AM

All our kids went through this (birth and foster kids). We did as justpeachy92 suggested. Each kid had their own basket (from the dollar store) that they put their snacks in. There is a shelf in the fridge for snacking items. The house rule is one snack from the fridge a day per kid but their basket is theirs. When the food in the basket is gone- they have to refill it themselves (they get allowences) or they have to wait until the next shopping trip. I don't buy chips/icecream/etc. so those aren't options for them. We did have a few times when the fridge snack shelf would empty before the week or someone took stuff from someone else's basket, but we handled that as it came up.

**thesightofoneself** · 03-05-2009, 08:06 AM

its possible that its not a sneaking issue and more of an eating disorder.

^i said possible.

edit: Lady_V read my mind!

**Nishu** · 03-05-2009, 10:23 AM

Lady V gave you some great advice- I'll have to second it.

Locking up the freezer so that a 14 year old can't get into it is just over the top in my opinion. It may protect your food but it isn't going to help her deal with her issues and it certainly won't improve her relationship with her parents.

Perhaps you should look at counseling?

**nvmommyx6** · 03-05-2009, 10:39 AM

|Ours have gone through this as well, the ones that are now 13 through 20 so far anyhow!
When it started we just put locks on the fridges, freezers and pantry! I made sure there was ALWAYS healthy snacks available to them at all times, veggie trays, fresh fruits ect!
We explained how hurtful and the family history thing and of course they heard but did not care either!
So, the locks went on the fridges, freezers and pantry door and I took extra time to make them a bit bigger meals, lunches for schools and snacks!
I think for some people it IS a control thing, I think for some it is a comfort thing. One of ours (the one with the weight problem) was addicted to anything, fatty, carbohydrates, sugar, greasy and not healthy at all, the other 2 so far have been anything and everything they could get their hands on!

**valerian** · 03-05-2009, 10:51 AM

She's a teenager. They eat a lot. My teenaged son weighs 120, is 6'2, and is an eating machine. He can eat all day and half the night. It's normal for teenagers to eat a lot. I'd suggest that you buy healthy snacks like lots of fruit and cut-up veggies. Lay off the sodas. Eating lots of fruits and veggies isn't going to hurt her, but the junk will.

I've recently had to do this to my two youngest kids. I've been buying fruits like crazy and I bought lots of veggies, cut them up, put them into a container in the fridge and bought them some dip to dip them in. I noticed last night that my middle child who wouldn't eat something healthy if it bit him on the butt, chose to eat a big bunch of grapes and an apple last night for snacks. I almost fainted! He's getting a surprise in his lunch box today 'cause I packed veggies...hehehe...evil laugh!

**eanddmom** · 03-05-2009, 11:32 AM

My son always piles on the weight and eats non stop right before he has a growing spurt. He has done this since birth. When he gets to the point where I say son you are really gaining weight slow down he will say yeah I am aren't I I'll try. Within 2 weeks of that converstion he has shot up 4 inches or so and is not overweight anymore. His dad and I are both overweight so I try to get him to watch it. He goes through phases where he will eat an entire bunch of bananas in one day or a whole bag of oranges in one day. Other times he wont stay out of the junk food and I have to stop buying it until he stops. He ate 5 chicken breasts the other night. He also does the eat all but one bite or eat all but half a piece of something then when I say why did you eat all of that? He says oh I didn't see and show me the bite thats left. Makes me crazy.

**pop goes the weasel** · 03-05-2009, 12:25 PM

As I said we locked the freezer because she did't make sure it was closed and there is nothing in there she would eat. Just sauces and raw frozen meat. She knows she can have whatever she wants to eat. We have made sure that she has stuff she likes but she'll eat all of it in one sitting if we let her. It would be nothing for her to sit and eat a gallon of ice cream or a box of gogurts. Fresh fruit and veggies are the same way. so it isn't that she can't have it. I think it has to do with her birth mother as suggested. She found out last month that her mother was in jail. But she hasn't talked to her mother in over a year. We have no contact number and her mother has never tried to get in touch with her. Her mother basically said see ya good bye for drugs and alcohol. My opinion is that my sd feels like she has been replaced with another family by her mother doing this. She says it doesn't bother her but I'm sorry it would have to bring some reaction wouldn't it? The dr. has mentioned health issues with her and watching what she eats but she says she likes food. Hopefully its a growing spurt like eanddmom said. Does anyone know where to guy very long legged jeans? she's almost 6 foot now lol. She isn't averweight but we don't want it to get to that point IYKWIM

**wimedtypr** · 03-12-2009, 10:34 PM

My daughter is 16 and she rarely eats. She has a boyfriend and a zillion of friends and many school clubs she is in and she really does not stand still to eat anything and now she just started working. Is she bored? It sounds more like she is eating not because she is hungry but because it is a comfort food thing. You could take her to the doctor and get a referral for a nutritionist to explain healthy eating. Also, maybe a behavior specialist who specializes in eating disorders (using food for comfort in this case). It sounds like she is binging to me (just eating large amounts of food at once-not purging) because the amount she is eating is not normal, like whole ice cream containers and boxes of food at one sitting.

**happimommi** · 03-13-2009, 08:49 AM

I think it is just a teenager thing, I have 3 and after the weekend, it looks like locusts have gone through the house. They will eat anything! And don't even get me started on dirty dishes all over the house. Hopefully they out grow this.....soon.

**onencgirl** · 03-13-2009, 10:30 AM

When my sons were teens I ended up putting a dorm-size frig in their room and they were responsible for keeping it stocked from $ made at their after school jobs. They also had a basket each for non-frig snacks. They also knew that I would provide fruit and simple snacks... popcorn, pb&j, etc.