Non-Frugal Significant Others

**say_tay** · 03-06-2009, 01:15 PM

I wondered how many other's struggle with a spouse's spending/saving habits. My DH and I have very different financial views. I am a very frugal person and he is an impulse spender.
We did not have problems when we both worked because we kept our money seperate. I had a 401k, he kept cash in his safe. When I lost my job, we lost the ability to each do things our own way.
He used my quarter stash to take the kids to the arcade.

Does anyone else have frustrating spouse spending stories?

**2ndGenGranola** · 03-06-2009, 01:39 PM

My DH is all for saving and being frugal, he just doesn't know how to do it. I have had a difficult time teaching my DH that it is the little things that add up that are holding us back. Just the other day he ran out of the house and "forgot" his lunch that I had packed for him. He commented that he will just go and buy off of the $1 menu for lunch. I asked him if he understood that his $1 burger would actually run him closer to $4. He did get it until I broke down each step. Yes the burger itself would cost a $1 BUT the ff place is a little drive and each start of the car takes a pint of gas (average on vehicles), with his driving habits he only gets X mpg, gas is X$ a gallon now, if he took off at lunch he would get behind then stay a few minutes later putting him in heavy stop and go traffic etc... He had never thought it through.

**The Muse** · 03-06-2009, 01:48 PM

My DH was raised with a completely different financial philosophy from mine. I used to think he was a hopeless case, but once he got a taste of the debt free life, he was hooked and now he's more frugal than I am in some ways. He's practically smug about it.

Any chance yours will come around? I really think that as a couple, it's important to be financially aligned at least somewhat. Otherwise, how do you work toward common goals?

It took us 5 years of marriage to finally pool our resources. I didn't want to subject my earnings to his spending habits and he didn't want me pulling the purse strings. In the end though, we're much better off having taken the plunge.

**say_tay** · 03-06-2009, 01:56 PM

It took 10 years to FINALLY get him to put his name on the bank account... It would be funnier if it wasn't the truth. We didn't know how lopsided our finances were until we went for a house loan. He had NOTHING on his credit report. A credit "ghost" was the term the bank used. I had all the credit, but no income.

It comes from being raised in such different financial backgrounds. He has come a long way. He has gotten accustomed to "everything in the cupboard being generic" He does literally hand me his paycheck each Friday. So I give him a lot of credit...

**cab54** · 03-06-2009, 02:05 PM

Impulse buyer. Yep, that's mine.

Often, I will be thinking of new ways to save money or not buy, and he will be on his computer looking for new tools, new welding stuff, new techno gadgets.......

Sigh.

**eanddmom** · 03-06-2009, 02:42 PM

That's funny I was going to post this very same question. Mine is a big impulse shopper too. I impulse shop at goodwill sometimes he does at amazon.com and ebay. I'm trying to keep things not being used unplugged he hates it and keeps plugging them in.

**sabrelvssammy** · 03-06-2009, 05:08 PM

my dh gave me a hard time...especially about the un-plugging thing til i started keeping track of the utility usage.... we went from 1268kw a month to 680 last month....currently we are working on 198 for this month and we are 1/2 thru the month...if i keep it at that level we will be at 400kw for the entire month....the proof is in the pudding...he doesn't care about the 'kw' numbers but when he saw the last utility bill...his eyes lit up....he actually turns off the power strip on his tv when he comes to bed now....woohoo....

also since i have gone to the 'cash only' system my cc bills for the month are waayyyy down....(that's only coz i am not spending of course)...now he's all happy about that too.....

do something concrete...show him the proof.....they catch on slowly....

**HomeschoolMom** · 03-06-2009, 08:43 PM

Mine's not very frugal either. But neither was I until recently. We're working on it though. He has only just recently come around to thinking that maybe saving some money, paying cash and not going deeper into debt is a good idea!

It can be frustrating though. Like when I see the beautiful piece of lattice that I rescued from the dump last spring sitting in the dump trailer to go back to the dump! what!!??, I rescued it again only to see that it has just been thrown on the ground outside in the mud.

I wanted to make a screen out of it to grow some pretty flowers on in the garden. I saw it out there this morning now that the snow has melted - and I lost it!!

I think he got the message on that one..... I hope.

**rainbowgc** · 03-07-2009, 11:12 AM

My Dutch husband has taught me a lot. We have a paid for house and 2 paid off newer cars. We don't spend what we don't have.

**Starlight9803** · 03-07-2009, 03:44 PM

I've struggled with DH's spending habits from time to time. He has gotten much better over the years though. He used to buy expensive "toys" whenever he wanted (boats, extra vehicles, unneeded power tools, etc), but now it's only the smaller, impulse spending that eats up the budget. Thankfully, he usually sticks to spending his pocket money for that now.

**tiff** · 03-07-2009, 06:00 PM

Mine appreciates what I do to save us money, but still has a tendency to spend at times. Like Mon-Fri he takes lunch and cycles part of the way to work, then gets the train. He doesnt spend anything apart from train fare, so when we get a bonus from work he wants to go out and spend it all, while I want to pay it towards debt.

We compromised recently, he got £1200 bonus from work and wanted to buy an LCD TV. We agreed on a budget and bought the TV for £320 and put the rest towards debt.

**hollyhill** · 03-07-2009, 07:04 PM

Originally Posted by tiff

Mine appreciates what I do to save us money, but still has a tendency to spend at times. Like Mon-Fri he takes lunch and cycles part of the way to work, then gets the train. He doesnt spend anything apart from train fare, so when we get a bonus from work he wants to go out and spend it all, while I want to pay it towards debt.

We compromised recently, he got £1200 bonus from work and wanted to buy an LCD TV. We agreed on a budget and bought the TV for £320 and put the rest towards debt.

I think we must have the same husband LOL.
He has come on board only recently because he is worried about Job Security, but before any unexpected income was always meant a big splurge.... Now he is on board with paying off student loans etc...

**TheMartianChick** · 03-08-2009, 11:00 AM

My husband is a a nickel and dimer when it comes to the budget. We could go to the grocery store and buy everything that we need. 1/2 hour after leaving the store, he would walk to the corner store to buy a single serve bag of chips that costs almost as much as a big bag at the grocery store! He also spends money on lottery tickets. He is better now about the potato chips, but does not really "get it" about the lottery tickets. He spends around $20 per week on the various types of tickets. In the interests of avoiding an argument, I choose to overlook it. He doesn't really spend money on anything else. Obviously the lottery tickets are worth it to him and I know that I will be the first one with my hand held out if he should win!