Has anyone ever taken on a financial mentor?

**steve-in-kville** · 04-01-2009, 07:18 AM

You know... like someone who watches over your finances and helps you manage through the hard times?

My wife and I are going through some real tough times and I asked a close business friend to step in and help. We're having cash flow issues and can barely keep our head above water.

I was curious if anyone else has done this before and if there are any precautions or suggestions when working with someone?

One thing is for sure... I'd never let any close family members get involved!! Too much drama!!

**Momto2Boyz** · 04-01-2009, 08:37 AM

I've never done this, but I think it could be a big help or a huge disaster! Just be careful. Even if it is a close friend, still keep your accounts safe and protected. Do not allow him access to your accounts or your information.

If you actually want him to be able to take over your finances, then be sure that you have dual security. Meaning that if he writes a check or wants to take money out of an account, then you both have to sign for it.

I know we all think our close friends wouldn't do things to hurt us, but I worked in a bank for years and I saw family members do things to each other that shocked me! So just be very careful with it!

**Avery'sMom** · 04-01-2009, 09:21 AM

Several years ago I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility. My insurance would cover up to 15k of the expenses after that we were responsible. Invitro is (3 times) is what we ended up doing...and after that we adopted a little girl from China. We had some savings and home equity...and were told we could/should borrow against our 401k's...We didn't want to go into debt so we went to on of those people that help others that are in deep debt and explained what we wanted. She wasn't used to having people there that were not in a finanical crunch...She agreed to help us. It worked like this. When we got paid we would write a check to her (minus insurance that was automatically taken from our checking account), she would write us a check for $150 a week for gas, groceries, and whatever....sometimes we would tell her that we would need extra for stuff like dr.copays, birthday presents, ect....we turned all of our bills over to her. We also got a check once a month to put in our savings account. We are not in debt because of the medical bills (they topped out at $62000 and since I had 2 different insurance companies the insurance paid $30000. Also, we paid for our adoption in full with no loans and it was roughly $22000. We are still doing this because we like how it works for us. I have learned that you can live on so much less and I love not having to stress about paying bills.
Lisa

**rudypoo98** · 04-01-2009, 11:26 AM

I've done it before for 2 of my friends that had no idea how to manage money.But when I had their debt paid off and told them how to manage on their own they got right back in debt, only worse than they were before.One of them got so behind on her rent and utility bills she got evicted.I had her car and everything else paid off early,she had no bills at all except rent of $100 a month because when her husband left her and I took over I talked the landlord into lowering it since I knew him.He was once my landlord at the same house that had 2 apartments and they were easy to heat, her monthly utility bills weren't even $100,that includes everything even trash pickup.

**mmy2grls** · 04-01-2009, 03:25 PM

Actually I have someone that helps me now. they have mine and my kids interests in in mind and they more or less tell me what to do. I've been doing great and this seems to be working for the best.

**forHISglory** · 04-02-2009, 10:55 AM

I learned my financial handling from parents, grandparents and other family members. So in a way they were my mentors. But I do reach out to help others by mentoring. My type of mentoring does not involve me touching their money at all. I never see their accounts. And they pay me nothing; it's just a way I try to help.

I simply meet informally with them and we talk about the budget. What are their goals? What's frustrating them now about their finances? What leaks do they see? What are they willing to sacrifice? Do they blame anyone for the mess they are in?

Often they lay out their bills so that I get a sense of where the money goes. But I never ask them to do so. I want to make sure that privacy is kept right where the couple wants it kept.

Although I offer them some advice, sometimes brutal, my main goal is for the couple/individual to understand his/her attitude towards money. Do they feel that money is there to be spent? Do they feel inferior if they don't have certain items? Are they too casual about paying back loans? Do they have guilt over not giving children everything? If a couple, then how do they see the dividing of money responsibilities? I strongly believe that when a person investigates his attitude towards money, then he is well on his way to handling the money responsibly.

After we explore all this, it is up to the couple to ask for the level of help that they want. Do they want help in establishing a budget? In learning how to stretch their money? I do not advise on how to invest money; I'm not qualified. But if the couple is at the point of having some savings, I give suggestions of where they can turn for investment help.

I have found this to be gratifying in most instances. Once in a while, a couple or individual is not willing to make any changes. But that is their choice.

**jmd5294** · 04-02-2009, 11:00 AM

I mentor 2 younger friends who have recently graduated from college and are just starting out. It does not involve me touching their money. I help them with their budgets, help them talk out things like how much to put in savings, how fast they can pay off their car, etc etc. It is very basic, but has helped them a lot!

**craftypam** · 04-02-2009, 10:48 PM

Originally Posted by forHISglory

I learned my financial handling from parents, grandparents and other family members. So in a way they were my mentors. But I do reach out to help others by mentoring. My type of mentoring does not involve me touching their money at all. I never see their accounts. And they pay me nothing; it's just a way I try to help.

I simply meet informally with them and we talk about the budget. What are their goals? What's frustrating them now about their finances? What leaks do they see? What are they willing to sacrifice? Do they blame anyone for the mess they are in?

Often they lay out their bills so that I get a sense of where the money goes. But I never ask them to do so. I want to make sure that privacy is kept right where the couple wants it kept.

Although I offer them some advice, sometimes brutal, my main goal is for the couple/individual to understand his/her attitude towards money. Do they feel that money is there to be spent? Do they feel inferior if they don't have certain items? Are they too casual about paying back loans? Do they have guilt over not giving children everything? If a couple, then how do they see the dividing of money responsibilities? I strongly believe that when a person investigates his attitude towards money, then he is well on his way to handling the money responsibly.

After we explore all this, it is up to the couple to ask for the level of help that they want. Do they want help in establishing a budget? In learning how to stretch their money? I do not advise on how to invest money; I'm not qualified. But if the couple is at the point of having some savings, I give suggestions of where they can turn for investment help.

I have found this to be gratifying in most instances. Once in a while, a couple or individual is not willing to make any changes. But that is their choice.

I have told my husband that I like budgeting so much; I'd teach people for free; but you are right they have to want to do it or it won't work.