Frustrated and feeling beaten down

[lovestolaugh]

I have hit a wall recently with regards to staying positive. I feel like we will never get our debt paid off. We have been working on it for sooo long and we still have another couple of years to go. Then of course with the economic meltdown, fear about job security, and the rising of interest rates on my current credit cards (not because I have made late payments or anything, just because they can. UGH!) and the feel of dejection in every area of my life, I am losing hope. I have tried reminding myself of how far we have come but it hasn't helped. Our amount of remaining debt is still huge. It will take us at least 2 - 3 more years to be credit card debt free. We have been working on it since 2005. Will we ever get there? I sure could use some encouraging words right now. Maybe some success stories too. I know you guys will help me out. You're all awesome. So thanks in advance!

[Momto2Boyz]

Maybe set some smaller goals for debt reduction. Instead of looking at the big picture, try to set some smaller goals. Like reaching x amount on your balance by the end of the year, etc. Then you can celebrate your smaller goals along the way. It might help you feel like you are getting somewhere, instead of just always looking at it, like you have a balance and it's not going anywhere!

Also, if you haven't already, call your credit card company and ask them to lower your rate. They used to do this all time...I don't know if they still do with all that is going on. But if you pay on time and have good credit history with them, they might lower your rate!

[JustMegan79]

I dont have any solid advice other than to tell you to seek out the small blessings in your life. Look at your life, your family, and the world around you and reflect that you have many, many, blessings. You may be struggling, but what you Do have is what many others dont have.

Celebrate the small things. Live in the moment, try to train your brain to look for the good. There is a season for everything.

God will not give you more than you can handle.

Proverbs 13: 11-12 Weath gained by dishonesty will be diminished, But he who gathers by labor will increase.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.

[miss_thrifty]

Can u consolidate your loans through a bank ? thats would help alot in payment wise and put alittle extra towards it when u coulld to pay it off.

[Linus]

Celebrate the small things. Live in the moment, try to train your brain to look for the good. There is a season for everything.

I agree with JustMegan. Live in the moment and do celebrate those little things. You're signature highlights at least one success and does state "Live, laugh, love". I found that finding books that hopeful and have good stories helpful. Things like Chicken Soup series can be good at showing us how life can be good.

I also try to remember that the hardship times and harder times are reminders of where I don't want to be so I strive more to continue further. Like you I have a few years before I'm in the clear (about 4-5) but as Lao Tzu said "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step". Enjoy the ride/view along the way.

[Greebo]

I can't recall but can't you tell the Credit Card Company to close the account to new charges and freeze the interest rate? If they'll do that then you won't add to your debt and they can't increase your monthly minimums.

[Cricketlegs]

Bless your heart! So many of us can relate. I know it is hard! I am a mere $549 from finally paying off that stupid credit card. My first debt on my list to payoff(after medical bills) and I will do it in 8-15 days(when the IRS sends my check) and I will be done forever with it.

For LOLs, I have been paying $250 to $275 over my minimums for over a year and yet this bank statement--they raised my interest rate.

Oh try all you want you suckers you are so out of here! Creeps...sorry forgot myself there for a minute...

Now, you can do this. I know you can! I know it is hard and the road is so long. I still have a long road myself. Stay at the village and be strong, there is an end and you get closer with EVERY payment you make every month.

[Jeanna]

I know how you feel. I think we all get there at one time or another. Maybe you could go back to where you began and see how far you have truly come. Maybe make a chart that shows how much you have paid off as a reminder of it. I agree with the other suggestion of setting smaller goals so that you can reach a finish line and celebrate a victory from time to time. Just hang in there and come by and vent, celebrate, question, whatever you need to do to make it through. We are all here for you.

[frugal.lass]

I don't really have any words of wisdom but definitely hang in there!!! Keep checking in here at FV, I'm here all the time (if I don't I tend to start spending $$$$) but I come here even more often when I'm feeling down or stressed about my finances because it helps me realize I'm not alone. We'll help you get through it!!

[WV_mom_of2]

I'm right there with you! Every time I see light at the end of the tunnel here comes another train! I just try to remind myself that debt can be paid off if I work hard enough at it. Then I just keep on plugging away!

I also try to really celebrate the victories. If I pay something off I make a big deal of to dh and to my best friend and really pump myself up to keep on going!

[Contrary Housewife]

It was a long hard road for us, too. Started paying things off in 2002 and just finished with the last one in December. The first few years were the worst, we had NO money left after paying everything and our emergency fund was small. It seemed like all I was doing was treading water.

Once I got the first few small debts paid off things started looking better. We had a little spare cash, and I could put more on the larger debts and start to see them come down, and just having to write fewer checks was a relief. I counted off milestones like having the CC balance down another $1000, or seeing the minimum monthly payment drop (which meant that more of my payment went to to the principle).

I think you're probably through the worst part, and like a long car trip you just need to keep your eyes on the road, turn the radio up and stay awake through the next hundred miles of cornfields....

[mommy4ever]

It's a hard place to be. We did something that many here were against, but for us it was the best thing we could have done.

We are faced with potential layoff. Nothing is for sure, we have no idea. The company did a 10% layoff in Feb. Cut the employees hours in March. Now April is hanging in the balance, we don't know. Dh said there is no work coming in. This means more layoffs or hour cuts. We don't know which.

Then we get notices, rates were going up on our CC and LOC. In Canada our mortgage has to be renewed every term(1 to 7 years depending), ours was coming up.

So after much discussion.... we decided to consolidate our debts into the mortgage. This isn't a good move unless you're sure you won't use credit again. We talked, and made a plan. Went to the bank and renewed our mortgage at a great rate and consolidated EVERYTHING. We set up the mortgage so that if dh were to get laid off, we'd make it on my little income.

But until he's laid off, should it happen, we're making higher payments, extra payments to the mortgage. And since we got the debts paid off 2 weeks ago, we have put nearly $2K in the bank toward our FFEF. We are building a 6mo FFEF, but I'm hoping for 12mo. 6mo is priority. It has opened our cash flow, but we're being wise with it, savings and Mortgage gets the bulk of it.

I have either closed credit cards, or reduced credit limits. I need to maintain one card for hotel reservations, Canada doesn't use the debit card the same way, needs to be a cc. So my available credit is really low. Until we have that 6mo FFEF, we are keeping the LOC open. But once the FFEF is complete it will be closed completely.

So, do go and look at what options are out there. A re-finance isn't good if the person doing it isn't going to stay away from consumer debt. But it can be a great option if the debtor is determined to not increase debt again.

In this house, we've made that promise to ourselves and each other to not get into further debt. We're planning to pay off the mortgage before I'm 42(I'm turning 36), so we have our work cut out, considering kids are headed to college in that time too.

So for us, we still have over 60% equity in our home, even with the consolidation and the falling market and it's been a relief to know that if dh loses his job, we can survive on my income $26K/year..lol. Mortgage, utilities, insurance, food and clothes. There would be serious cutbacks in terms of sports, likely used clothes instead of new, but we would survive and not lose our home.

However, here's an example of why one shouldn't refinance, my BIL and SIL make nearly 5 times what we do, have refinanced 4 times in the last 8 years and with the debt and the market losses they owe nearly double what their house is worth. Within 2 years they rack up the debt. Not good candidates for refinance.

So be honest with yourself and talk with your spouse(if you have), and see if it's a good option for you. If you think the temptation of credit is too great, then it isn't a good option at all, but if you think you can be disciplined about it, then it's a fantastic option, be accountable to each other, and it can work out.

I can't say we're testiment to it at this point, but we are working hard at not using cc. I did once, needed to renew my website, used my cc, but paid it the same day, so it was used as a convenience card, not really credit.

Sorry for the long post, hope it illustrated what is good and bad about consolidation.

[momofslg]

I would take a look at where you started from. I know that always helps me see the big picture. It may look bad for you now but you have come a long way.

As as example, in the last year we had over 15,000 in CC debt. We have paid off 2 cards and are left with the last one, which is high too. What's funny is that in 2008 Hubby made less than in 2007 and we are sitting much better. Since he has been offered a job we will be able to pay more to that CC and get rid of it asap. I was afraid to pay too much more than the minimum in case it took a while for him to find a new job.

[pen32]

i've had my share of credit card debt and there is a few ways to make yourself feel better. instead of looking at the entire debt as a goal that is so hard to reach- figure it out by monthly payments that seem reasonable, yet will reduce the debt. when you pay the "payment" consider yourself good. If you can "over pay" one month...really feel good. in other words...pay it off like you would a loan and don't use the card anymore- at all. instead of being depressed over the payments- be happy you made the payment!
- switch the balance of the cards to another card that will actually give you something for your debt. some cards give you air miles for transferring, etc...you can save in other ways by moving your debt around.
the best way not to increase the spending- save ALL your receipts in a box. even the ones for a buck here and there....at the end of the month- go through the box with someone else.... look at what you bought and look at what you did with it. did you need to buy a pack of gum or soda when you bought gas??? that sort of thing...it adds up.

[my4littlebuffaloes]

I think small goals will really help. Either with each cc that gets paid off or every $1000 or something, reward yourself in a small way. Like dinner out or a movie or something. It must be hard to stay motivated when it is taking so long. You can only live "gazelle intense" as DR puts it for so long. good luck!