I got one of "those" looks today ........

**WV_mom_of2** · 04-30-2009, 01:44 PM

You remember a post a while back about looking into other people's buggies at the store to see what they are buying and how people sometimes make nasty comments or look like they want to be nasty?

All this winter I scrimped on things to get the house payment caught up. I didn't buy alot of groceries and didn't do much stockpiling. I used up a huge amount of my stockpile too so I've been working on building it back up. I miss being able to go to the store and buy what I want!

Today dh got paid, got an extra bonus check and I got paid my first check since going back to work. Things are caught up here so I decided it was time for a trip to the next town to get some "good" stuff LOL. I am working every Friday, Saturday and Sunday right now which leaves the kids here alone some weekends and sometimes with dh. None of them cook much so I wanted to stock up on some of that dreaded "easy" stuff. It just makes my life SO much easier this time of year.

Keep in mind that at home I have chicken, tuna, frozen fish, lettuce, bagged salad mix, carrots, celery, apples, potatoes, etc. I needed to stock up on hamburger and hit the jackpot at Walmart! I bought 14 -1 pound packs marked down! YIPPEE!! So I had that, a pack of burritos that dh wanted, yogurts, hot dogs, chicken patties, tator tots, frozen pizzas, waffles, candy bars(I can't pass up Hershey bars and Reese cups on sale!), off brand chips, etc. I did have some strawberries, a bag of potatoes and some eggs. Oh yeah and a 12 pack of Coors that dh has been wanting!

Anyway there was this older woman in there with a young man who was maybe 19 or 20. He was pushing the buggy along and putting stuff in (junk foods) and she was complaining about what he was buying. I might be bad in making this assumption but she looked kind of beat down if you know what I mean. She looked sad and afraid to look up at people and afraid of him too. So anyway they didn't have much in the buggy, maybe 8 or 10 items and all brand name junk foods. I saw her in several aisles and she was very quietly telling him "I can't afford that", "we don't need that" , etc and he just kept saying "well I want it" and throwing it into the buggy.

I was at the eggs looking for some that weren't broken and they were beside me looking at chips or Little Debbies or something that was out in the middle of the big main aisle. I started to put my eggs in the buggy and noticed her standing by my buggy looking down into it and kind of studying what I had. She noticed me looking and gave me this kind of WOW look and ducked her head and went on. Dh said "that woman must be facinated with something you have in the buggy. That's the second or third time she has stopped and looked to see what's in it". I told him about our threads here on the topic and he said "man I bet she thinks we don't eat anything but junk food then"!

On the way home I was thinking about that lady and I told dh that maybe she had no money and was amazed at someone buying a buggy full of stuff. I know I was at that point several times this winter. I'd go and only have money for maybe 6 or 8 things that I was totally out of and I'd be SO jealous of people with a buggy full of stuff. It was kind of sad to think of someone not having much money and then maybe having someone with them who is spending that money on junk. I may be totally off with that but it was the feeling I got.

Then we got to the checkout and there was an older woman behind us who was with a very young, very pregnant girl and a baby. They had a WIC coupon and a buggy full of WIC stuff(4 gallons of milk(three of which were chocolate), juice, etc.). She kept coming up near me while the girl was ringing my stuff up and looking over the stuff on the belt and then she'd look me up and down and giving me these hateful looks. Poor dh was about to let her have it but I told him to just put my groceries in the buggy and let it go LOL.

Today was the first time I ever really noticed anyone openly looking into my buggy to see what I had. Just thought I'd post that it happens to everyone LOL!!

**Rebookie** · 04-30-2009, 01:49 PM

You know I've never noticed! LOL

**thesightofoneself** · 04-30-2009, 01:49 PM

interesting story. even without knowing the facts, i feel for that lady.

**ml2620** · 04-30-2009, 01:57 PM

I'm one of those people looking in everyone's shopping cart....I admit I have judged in the past. You've taught me an important lesson, the cart isn't even nearly the whole story.

**WV_mom_of2** · 04-30-2009, 01:59 PM

Originally Posted by thesightofoneself

interesting story. even without knowing the facts, i feel for that lady.

I did too. I don't know, she just had this sad, kind of hungry or needy look about her, especially when she was looking in my buggy. It was one of those things that happens to you that you can't get out of your mind ya know?

Now the other woman, whew! Good thing she didn't say anything because dh would have probably ripped her good!

**kellieetter** · 04-30-2009, 01:59 PM

That's happened to me before! Because we are tight with our budget I am not able to buy what we need always so once when we got a little extra money I went to Wal Mart to let loose and people actually made comments to me!! I was shocked at the things people said, you would have thought I had a bomb in my cart!!

**WV_mom_of2** · 04-30-2009, 02:08 PM

Originally Posted by ml2620

I'm one of those people looking in everyone's shopping cart....I admit I have judged in the past. You've taught me an important lesson, the cart isn't even nearly the whole story.

I LOVE to look at what other people are buying! It's just kind of a study in people you know? I can see a young mom with a couple of small kids and alot of convenience foods and laugh when I remember those days of crying babies, little sleep, etc. and how great a box of Hamburger Helper was LOL. Sometimes I see something in a buggy that I needed and forgot to get! And if I notice that someone has alot of something I will ask them if it's on sale(if they look friendly lol) or go around to that aisle and look to see if it's a great deal! One time I was in Walmart and these two ladies were shopping and they were looking at clothes and not paying much attention to the little boy in the back of the buggy. He was maybe 2 years old and he had opened a deodorant and was having a ball rubbing it all over himself LOL. I told the lady and she said "oh geez, thank you honey! He's always into something" and laughed.

And I will admit that I do judge people sometimes. In WV food stamps are put onto a debit type card. I know one of the cards when I see them. If I see someone buying steaks, lobster or tons of junk food and using a food stamp card, it makes me a little hot. I never say anything because it's not my place but it bothers me! The point is I don't openly give them hateful looks or make comments EVER!

And I don't care who looks into my buggy either. Maybe it helps someone remember something they need. And I don't care what they think either but they better keep their comments to themselves LOL.

**hotprincesscm** · 04-30-2009, 02:51 PM

I usually don't pay attention to other people's carts when I am in the store...I have a hard enough time keeping track of my two kids and what I need to put in my cart. The only time I notice what someone else is buying, is when I am standing in line behind someone and they have all their groceries laid out on the belt...Sometimes you can "learn" alot about people by what they are buying...Sometimes you can spot an obvious vegetarian, or someone who is lactose intolerant, or someone who eats only organic foods...But like I said, usually I'm too distracted by my kids to really pay attention!

**Trishagirl** · 04-30-2009, 02:58 PM

Yeah that's sad about the lady maybe if you would of talked w/her you could of helped her.

**savvymom** · 04-30-2009, 03:05 PM

I don't pay attention to other people while I'm at the store, only the ones that almost run over me with their cart. I've never noticed anyone looking in my cart either, maybe I should pay more attention.

**mommy4ever** · 04-30-2009, 03:15 PM

POor lady

That young man needed a talking to!

I usually have a cart full, and people look at me weird, and even weirder when the total is very low. That's what coupons and sale items do when paired together.

That said my cart full is mostly whole foods. Fruit, veggies, milk, cheese, flour, etc. At this point I am home and we relish home cooked meals. At some point I will work out of the home again, and will concede that the fast stuff will be purchased to ease up that stress load of working.

**MomToTwoBoys** · 04-30-2009, 03:23 PM

The only time people look at me all weird is when I have more food than they do. I take twice as long because I shop for every two weeks and they don't. I admit that I am nosey in that I stare at what people have in their carts. I don't hide it.

Since we started being more frugal, we cut back a ton on convenience foods and now there's whole grains, meats, vegetables, fruits, etc that go into our cart. I stopped buying macaroni and cheese and if the kids want some, I offer them apple slices or crackers in place. We stopped buying pop and frozen juice and opted to have more water and coffee. I'm trying to promote a healthier way of life for the kids because I grew up on purely junk food and unhealthy dishes.

People who are overly busy, I can see them having a place for convenience foods in their lives. That poor woman in your story made me all sad.

**cab54** · 04-30-2009, 03:40 PM

I always get that when DH goes on his hunting trip. They don't cook, maybe a little microwaving.......so I'd get breakfast bars, pop tarts, smoked brats, buns, chips and nuts, pop, beer, and all junk. I had some funny looks and comments. Even from cashiers.

**zakity** · 04-30-2009, 04:09 PM

No one has commented except for the "amounts" of things and then I just tell them that I am feeding three boys.

I do wind up with some odd combinations sometimes because of what is on sale or what I need.

**WV_mom_of2** · 04-30-2009, 04:19 PM

Originally Posted by mommy4ever

POor lady

That young man needed a talking to!

I usually have a cart full, and people look at me weird, and even weirder when the total is very low. That's what coupons and sale items do when paired together.

That said my cart full is mostly whole foods. Fruit, veggies, milk, cheese, flour, etc. At this point I am home and we relish home cooked meals. At some point I will work out of the home again, and will concede that the fast stuff will be purchased to ease up that stress load of working.

When I'm home during the fall, winter and early spring I cook too. I LOVE to cook! But when I'm working in the summer, I need the help of those easy foods. I work 1pm to 9pm Thursday, Friday and Saturday and 10am to 6pm Sunday and Monday. On the days I work 1-9 I get up early and always make a homecooked breakfast. Then I try to get laundry done and on the line, run errands, etc. before I go to work. The kids and dh need easy stuff for lunch and supper. I am too tired at 9pm to cook or care if or what they eat LOL. I do at times throw something in the crockpot in the mornings but to be honest none of really like a big, hot meal every day in summer. I hate the expense of the easy stuff but I like knowing that my kids ate a waffle rather than just decided to have nothing.

I love when the busy summer season is over and I'm home 4-5 days of the week so I can get back to cooking!