Trying not to be over protective but...

**hollyhill** · 05-15-2009, 08:19 PM

I don't live my daughter to be outside alone any more.

She is 11 and I have heard so many horror stories of Type 1 diabetes children going suddenly low, and passing out. We have a large yard and I keep ordering her to stay close to the house, and I find myself always watching her...
and I am scared when she is bathing too, I keep listening to make sure she is splashing about and when evr tings are silent, I say "Are you OK, in there?"

My Dh says I am over doing it alot...

I guess with time I will get used to it... but right now, I am not getting things done and not sleeping...

**MisaLady** · 05-15-2009, 08:31 PM

I've known several kids with Type 1 diabetes. You teach them the signs, give them those glucose tabs, and then, you really have to let go. I know you're concerned, but you won't be there to watch her 100% of time. Teach her to take care of herself and you'll both be better off for it.

That said, I'd probably be doing the same thing if she were my kid. I'm a worrier. I don't blame you.

**DorothyBeverly** · 05-15-2009, 08:34 PM

Aww, I know how you feel. My ex-DH was a Diabetic, and I did the same things sometimes. Is she recently diagnosed? Just remember to check her blood sugar often, and if she is going outside to play, maybe give her a small snack beforehand (like a banana or peanut butter toast) to keep her blood sugar elevated. Hope that helps!

**Sassyclass** · 05-15-2009, 09:17 PM

BTDT, my daughter passed out while riding her bike with a friend when she was about the same age, she has low blood sugar. She ended up with stiches in her head and she scared her friend to death. For awhile after it happened I didn't want her to be alone either, but I learned to let go and let her live a normal life. It's a normal thing for a mother to worry, just remember if she is doing what she should be doing as far as meds, she will be fine. I think Dr.'s should prescribe chill pills for us parents when we find out our babies are sick.

Cat

**hollyhill** · 05-16-2009, 02:20 PM

Chill Pills.... you are right! We need to be doctored as much as the children do.

Yes, she was just diagnosed on March 17,2009. So it s all so new, and I know I will have to let the leash go but I am just unable to right now.
Riding bikes swimming in the pool (or the lake this summer, OH MY!!!), everything is new and frightening...

**Luckybustert** · 05-16-2009, 02:34 PM

Originally Posted by Sassyclass

I think Dr.'s should prescribe chill pills for us parents when we find out our babies are sick.

Cat

Oh my gosh, there *IS* a market the pharmaceutical companies haven't tapped yet! LOL Seems like there's a pill for pretty much everything else...

I think it's hard to let go sometimes because we don't want anything bad to ever happen to our babies, but the reality is that we won't always be there to protect them and the best thing we can do for them is teach them to care for themselves.

**never2late** · 05-18-2009, 10:47 PM

It must be a terribly trying time for you, learning all of "the ropes" of diabetes and all.

Like the other posters though, I would encourage you to try to give her as much freedom as you can.

DD17 has a boyfriend of 3+ years. He was diagnosed with diabetes at the age of 5. Then when he was about 3rd grade or so he missed nearly an entire year of school because he developed a stomach ulcer because of the stress of it all.

I have marveled at how well adjusted he is now. He played varsity football all 4 years of high school and participated in track and competitional weight lifting. I give his parents a lot of credit for allowing him to be as normal as possible and not holding him back, but rather encouraging him to branch out. It must have been very difficult to do. This fall he will be off to college. His parents are very concerned, and rightfully so, as he had a diabetic seizure just a year ago and last weekend had a low sugar that caused him to have convulsions. But they also know that they have to allow him to experience life. It is important that he surrounds himself with people who know his condition so that if he were to experience a low sugar, they recognize it for what it is, and know what to do if it happens.

I pray you find some peace and comfort in dealing with the hand you've been dealt, as unfair as it may seem, and for your daughter and her bright future!

**Momto2Boyz** · 05-19-2009, 09:19 AM

Just try to relax and do whatever you feel is right. If you "need" to keep an eye on her 24/7 for your own sanity right now, then do it and don't feel bad about it! Eventually, when you get used to things...and when she gets used to things, you'll be able to loosen the reigns and give her more freedom.

You'll get there. Your just in an adjustment period and it'll take a little bit of time to find your comfort zone with all of this! But you'll get there!

**bonnotsm9** · 05-19-2009, 02:33 PM

I think I would feel the same way until I was more certain that she could recognize her particular low blood sugar symptoms. Hang in there!

**ShellyB** · 05-19-2009, 04:21 PM

Give yourself some time. My son's friends always looked out for him so there was a kind of buddy system. My son played football all through high school and talk about being physical. I never missed a game and I always had the glucagun at my side. I can tell you when they are first dx, they can tell when it is coming on more than 10 years down the road. You have to teach her to know the signs.

Does she have a medical alert bracelet or necklace? I don't know about you but I have a daughter that is 14 now and I don't let her out alone even though she doesn't have diabetes. Too many nuts out there.

Don't be so hard on yourself. There is nothing that can replace a mother's intuition.

**Dancing Lotus** · 05-19-2009, 05:03 PM

Did she ever pass out unexpectedly before?

Has she ever hit a low and crashed while playing and gotten hurt because of it? If not then the chances it's going to happen are not likely. Just because you now know doesn't not mean she going to experience any new symptoms.

She will learn the warning signs and be able to stop and sit down or get help before anything happens.

Bless you heart, as a mother I can imagine how you are feeling but she is still a child and needs to be a child just as much as anyone.

**Thevail** · 05-19-2009, 05:10 PM

It's perfectly normal for you to feel the way you feel right now. But be careful, you never want to give the child the idea that she should think she's helpless and needs to be looked after 24/7.

She needs to feel competent and strong and independant even more than most kids her age, because she'll already feel "weaker" physically because of the diabetes.

They have to come to accept it as no big deal and learn to cope, or else they'll start taking risks on purpose.. just to "show you who's boss".

**frugalwarrior** · 05-19-2009, 07:09 PM

You need to hook up w/ a support group specifically for parents of children w/ Diabetes. There is a group for everything. They can help you deal w/ all this better because in a way you have diabetes too. Is there a National Diabetes association? Your obviously a very caring mother and need backup too but kids lose confidence if their watched too closely. I blew this one pretty well myself. Good luck.

**momof42003** · 05-20-2009, 01:12 AM

From a mom of a diabetic son... I am a little of both... Over protective and a little lax.... You need to be careful, but not overbearing. It took me a very long time before he was able to spend the night anywhere, including our family... Then when he did start having overnights, I had a list a mile long with everything on it. He didn't start spending the nights with friends until he was well into grade school, and then only with people who were comfortable with his diabetes. This coming weekend, another big step--- weekend with his best friend and family to the coast.... OH BOTHER... It totally scares me.... But I will allow it, and be calling every four hours or so... Luckily he is now at a point where he can carb count, and give his own shots. Just need to make sure the rest of the kit is in order, like gluclose tabs, glucagon kit, snacks and such...Big steps....

We never told our son no when it came to what he could and could not do. He still rode his bike, swam, ran, played (and still does) football, rollerblade, skateboard, just to make sure he felt normal. All the kids and parents know he is diabetic, and they keep a look out for him when he is down the street or wherever. I never miss a basketball game, and I always have his kit with me. Just give her some room make sure she can still be a kid without worrying that mom cant see or hear her.. In time, you will be able to let go a little more, but it will take some time. I try not to make diabetes an excuse for him not to enjoy his childhood.

About the support group... We live in a fairly large city, and I don't know of a support group here. It may be a little hard to find one. Not sure, but I haven't seen one.... Just for your info.

**momof42003** · 05-20-2009, 01:35 AM

Oh ya, it is ok to be frightened to let her do her things (bike riding, swimming,etc), but don't let her see you frightened. If she sees you that way she may never do those things for a very long time if ever because she could become frightened as well... JMO