Should preteens/young teens get laptops?

**lovestolaugh** · 05-17-2009, 07:00 PM

I have a ds13 and dd11. They have been hounding their father and me about wanting laptops of their own. We currently have a very old desktop computer that they share. It needs to be updated. My dh who is a computer geek was all for getting them laptops this Christmas. After a lot of thought and investigation, I think getting them laptops would be asking for trouble. Our home is wireless so they could access the internet from anywhere. We would have to be very vigilent in watching everything they do. The parental controls are not as good as people think. My husband agrees that all the controls have ways around them. So, having said all this, we have agreed to buy two new desktops with a shared printer for them. We are going to create their own "work station" in the lower level where our computers are. (my dh and mine!) I feel really good about this decision, but I am really interested in all of your opinions and experiences dealing with this issue. How do you keep kids from getting too much too fast in this technology driven society?

**IntlMom** · 05-17-2009, 07:11 PM

I like your solution. We don't do computers in our kids rooms, and our kids don't have unlimited access to the computer. The only home computer we have is my laptop, and the only way my boys can use it, is to ask me, I log them on, and monitor what they do and what-not.

I am protective of my children and what they are exposed to. Very protective. And I don't appologize for it.

**IndigoMom** · 05-17-2009, 07:22 PM

If you're on a secured network - they would need the code to access the wireless signal. If you wanted, you could make it so they would have to hard line it to get online, in a supervised location.That way they could have it in thier room to work on a paper for school, or play a game that's installed on it.
It's getting darn near impossible to really supervise kids online time - they can access it via. cell phones, hand held video games, and the new gaming systems. It's scary.
I used to change the password to sign on our computer everyday, so my daughter would have to call me at work when she was done with her chores and/or school work for the day. I had to keep it written down, or I'd forget...they sort of start melding together, lol.
Now a days, I keep waiting for my blender to chime "You've got mail" mid smoothie!

**craftypam** · 05-17-2009, 07:31 PM

With all the problems that happen with young people giving out too much information and not understanding how dangerous it is; I totally agree with what you are doing.

**3tomboys** · 05-17-2009, 07:35 PM

Are 3 dd's (14, 16 & 18) have laptops. Before they got them we sat down and made rules. They stick to them and we haven't had any problems. They mostly use them for homework.

**Michelle68** · 05-17-2009, 08:01 PM

My DS(13) has a really old desktop he uses in our front room. His desktop is crashing constantly now. We just bought a laptop on Craigslist and I'm allowing him to use it, but it has to be in the living room. Although he's mature for his age and a good kid, I think it's best to keep an eye on things. He doesn't mind too much having to use it in the living room, because now he can watch t.v. and play Runescape on the laptop at the same time. We might be a bit overprotective but I think it's best to keep things in sight, at least as long as they're younger.

**Nana2two** · 05-17-2009, 08:38 PM

I would say NO, we have a pc in the office they do get on that to check stuff for home work emails, its monitered, To many freaky people.

**my4littlebuffaloes** · 05-17-2009, 09:10 PM

Well, my ds turned 11 on Saturday and my parents got him a laptop (used). I have mixed feeling too. We are still in the process of setting some ground rules. We have told him he has to keep it downstairs where we are and not to take it in his room. No clicking on any ads, ever. No clicking on anything that pops up, ever. Dh needs to look into get some parental controls on there. I don't think he could possibly figure a way around them right now, he is pretty clueless when it comes to computers. So my son has one, but I'm still not sure how I feel about it.

**Nana2two** · 05-17-2009, 09:56 PM

They have a program out if your on wireless and have a laptop in your home, you would download it on to the lap top and on the house computer. so you can see every page and website that the child or whoever your needing to keep track of . So basically if your child is in a place thats a nono. You can see right away and bust him on the spot.If my children were 18 i would not do it if they had laptops. but under that you bet i would.

**MommyBliss** · 05-17-2009, 10:07 PM

I like your solution. Our children have computers, but no internet access in their rooms, they play software games. My laptop and hubby's has wireless internet and the extra laptop we let ds play on, but it is in our school room, so we see what he is doing at all times.

**WV_mom_of2** · 05-18-2009, 07:04 AM

I'm old fashioned and protective. My kids are 13 and almost 17 and they don't have computers of their own nor do I allow tv in their room. We have one desktop computer in our main room and they are allowed to use it. However they must ask first and I have all the passwords to any email accounts and to dd's myspace page. They were told right up front that I will be checking to see where they've been online, checking their emails from time to time and I check dd's myspace page too. If they don't like it, they are not to use the computer!

Dd didn't get a cell phone until she was 16 and then she had to buy it and pay for the new cards herself. If she quits her job, she loses the phone! Even with her paying for it we have rules. No camera phone and I can take it away from her at any time if she is misusing it in any way.

Ds(13) has begged for a phone and I've told him NO WAY! He has no use for one and won't be getting one until 16 and then only if he works and pays for it like dd does!

We do have a small tv that we use in our camper and we allow ds to use it in his room for his Playstation 2 sometimes. And we have a small portable dvd player that they use down there to watch movies, but I approve all movies so I always know what they are watching! I think you can't be too careful nowdays!

**tigo** · 05-18-2009, 07:13 AM

Our kids could get them if they bought them. They saved up and did so. Our combo of protection and blocker services keep them off the sites we don't want them to see. The 19 yo will fuss from time to time but our house, our rules.

**2ndGenGranola** · 05-18-2009, 07:37 AM

We do homeschool on computers so we have computers for all kids. They are set up in a large hall/loft area where they can be seen from multiple directions. If I am involved in a project where I cannot be looking over shoulders, I disable the wireless.

**MomToTwoBoys** · 05-18-2009, 10:52 AM

My DS5 is absolutely enthralled with the PC. Since he was old enough to climb, he's been sitting in a computer chair to play with it. At age 2, he was able to download and install computer games on his own. Yeah, talk about scary!

DS10 is a bit more behind because he's autistic, but he does love being on the computer. It's actually good for him because there are a ton of programs out there to help stimulate his intellect and give him ways to communicate.

We tell the kids that they are allowed to have one computer between the two of them. We gave them DH's older PC (which is newer than mine) and they have it in the basement. Most of the time, DS5 likes being on the PC up here because it's colder downstairs. We have a wireless ethernet bridge setup in the basement:

http://www.tigerdirect.ca/applicatio...6416&CatId=372

It's actually called a Wireless Powerline Access Point. It's great because we can hook up one box to the main router, then plug that into the wall. The other box is hooked up to the kids' PC ethernet card and that box is plugged into the wall downstairs behind their PC.

We are extremely vigilant with what the kids do when they're on the PC. I've caught DS5 going to YouTube and finding videos that contain profanity and I immediately make him turn them off. We try to find things for them online that are kid safe and when he gets to the age where kids are all about texting, we'll worry about it at that point.

As for kids wanting their own laptops, they don't need one at all until they go to college. There will never be a class where a laptop is required because they can always use desktops in the class without any internet capability. My suggestion is that if they don't like the desktops, then you can just tell them they don't need a computer at all.

**Nana2two** · 05-18-2009, 02:11 PM

Im also very old fashion. I think that comes from being raised by older parents. My day was 48 when i was born, my mom was 40. Now 88 and 80. oops that tells how old i am.. Im 40