When do you buy daughter first bra?

**imagine** · 06-24-2009, 10:39 AM

My daughter is 8 and is going to be going into third grade.

She has been pleading with me for a bra. She says that the girls in her second grade wore them some wore them everyday.

I do know that there for a while the the second grade girls were showing the strap to each other until the school told them that was not something that was done. A few girls wore swimsuit tops because their mother's would not buy them a bra.

My daughter wore undershirts almost everyday. Now that it is summer and hot she is not wearing undershirts but is asking for a bra more.

I saw some at the store that looked more like half undershirts.

So now I wondering if I should get her some but I'm in conflict: Is she to young? Does she need one (She does have a slight point but nothing that is very noticeable under her shirts). Do they emotional need one before they physically do? Does she just want one to try it out? Does she feel the need for coverage but undershirts are to hot now?

Oh I so don't know what to do.

**4islandgirls** · 06-24-2009, 10:48 AM

We are kind of dealing with this too. My daughter is 10 and is not even beginning to develop. Last year she started asking me if she maybe needed a bra. The next time I went to Wal-Mart I bought her some sport bra types (similar to a short tank top). She wore one once, found out that they are uncomfortable and hasn't said anything about wanting a real one. I figure there wasn't any harm in getting her one, just for her to start getting used to the idea. However, I would probably be uncomfortable with a regular bra, because it may be more obvious that she is wearing one, without needing it. I really shy away from making or letting my young girls look older before their time.
Jo

**Gibs** · 06-24-2009, 10:49 AM

My daughter is 7 and I she just recently bought out of her own money two hannah montanna bra and underwear sets. She only has the two, but she likes having them and she feels more covered and stuff.

**Nana2two** · 06-24-2009, 11:14 AM

My girls were around 8 There waas nothin to cover, but i think it was just the social part because the other girls had them. I would get her some.The ones i bought them were more like sport bras, no hooks or anything.

**Thevail** · 06-24-2009, 11:19 AM

We went with the sports bra type things when Dd started agitating in the 3rd grade. They're just as cheap as undershirts so why not?

But I don't think I'd do regular ones until they need the support. Kids have a tendency to want to "fill them out" and if nature won't oblige, kleenex usually will...

There are few things wierder than an 8 or 9 year old sporting a random pair of what looks like tennis balls under their shirt.

**kitkat0649** · 06-24-2009, 11:21 AM

I started wearing a training bra in 2nd grade (it was my lil pony lol). I remember the first time I wore a regular bra I ended up going into the bathroom at church and taking it off. i felt like I couldnt breathe

I would get her one, she may not necessarily need one yet, but it would probably be good for her self esteem, especially since all her friends are starting to wear them. Chances are she'll realize they're not all they're cracked up to be and not want to wear one till its absolutely vital.

**Neeley** · 06-24-2009, 11:31 AM

My daughter needed one in third grade. Most of her friends were also wearing them, whether they needed it or not.

Now, keep in mind my daughter was also very "blessed" in the breast department. She had a breast reduction two weeks before she turned 15 and her plastic surgeon removed four pounds from each breast.

I would have probably gotten her one at that age even if she hadn't needed one, especially if everyone else was wearing one.

**joyofsix** · 06-24-2009, 12:21 PM

Well, my older dd didn't need one, but I let her start wearing one in 6th grade. My 11 yo doesn't wear one and hasn't asked.

**xtena** · 06-24-2009, 01:02 PM

I guess I'm a prude. It seems to me that allowing such young girls to wear bras is 'sexualizing' them. They grow up fast enough. I want DD (not quite 8) to remain a little girl at heart for as long as she can.

**dean** · 06-24-2009, 01:12 PM

2 daughters here. As soon as they asked for them, I bought the kiddie, sport type for them. They wore them on occasion, but most likely not. It's not the fact that they "need" them yet, it's the fact that they have one if they "think they need it", a matter of self esteem, if you ask me. No harm, you can even get the little sets in the Dollar Tree stores now. And they feel good about themselves.
Fret when she wants a cell phone!

**Thevail** · 06-24-2009, 01:15 PM

Originally Posted by xtena

I guess I'm a prude. It seems to me that allowing such young girls to wear bras is 'sexualizing' them. They grow up fast enough. I want DD (not quite 8) to remain a little girl at heart for as long as she can.

For me that has more to do with the type of bra involved...

A grown woman with breasts is "sexier" in a white tank top with no bra, than with a bra on...

To me, lacy or racy looking bras are sexy.. white "lunch lady" bras are NOT sexy, and a sports bra is exactly as sexy as it is filled out...

**madhen** · 06-24-2009, 01:26 PM

Speaking from personal experience, my parents were in the "a bra is too mature and we don't want you to grow up" camp, and I spent a couple of years feeling VERY self-conscious and unhappy. Not giving me one sent a couple of messages: a) you are immature; b) you are not physically developing as a girl should; c) we don't care if you are embarassed. I am sure they didn't intend to send those messages, but to a young girl who wants to think she is comparable in her development to her classmates, and we all know how really horrible and cruel young girls can be to classmates they don't feel "fit in," telling her she doesn't "need" a bra yet is a very insensitive thing to say that can really scar her. It has nothing to do with sexuality: it is about feeling you are "normal" compared to other girls your age.

I am in my forties now, and I STILL remember how uncomfortable and embarassed I felt being the only girl in my class who didn't have a bra. I don't resent it anymore, but I did for quite a while, and why put your child through that?

I like the idea of buying one and letting them decide if they want to wear it. And Hanes makes some really boring white cotton bras.

**imagine** · 06-24-2009, 01:34 PM

If we do decide to get her a bra we are leaning toward ones like these
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/produ...uct_id=9193592 or these
http://www2.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx...45|42566|42567

**YankeeMom** · 06-24-2009, 02:26 PM

I didn't buy mine bras until they had "something" to put in them

No sense in rushing them to grow up.

**Suzy** · 06-24-2009, 03:49 PM

My daughter, now 13, started asking for one a few years ago. I started her with a sports bra. On occassion I would buy her a bra and panty set, Barbie, Hannah Montana, etc. That seemed to do the trick. She hated the sports bra but loved the sets. With only a few sets, she couldn't wear them everyday. She picked her day according to what outfit she was wearing.
Now she has got to wear one. She hates it.