How much for a wedding gift?

**hollyhill** · 06-26-2009, 01:52 AM

Help!!!
My niece is getting married on Saturday, she is 35 and this is her first marriage. She has asked for gifts of cash towards a nice honeymoon/vacation at a later date.

I am just banging myself up over how much to give..... I want to be generous and feel that now that I have a bit of savings and I am wrestling our debt.... that perhaps I can give a bit more.... but then since I thought that my dog dies and we had unexpected vet expenses and I broke my front teeth in a fall and had to have them crowned $$$$$$..... and my Dh hours have been cut back.. that I truthfully can not give as much as I would like too...

So what is enough? What is too little? and What is perhaps too much?

I JUST CAN'T DECIDE! Please give me your opinions... please...

**frugalfranny** · 06-26-2009, 02:29 AM

Have another brother or sister that you can ask what they are giving?

Don't give more than you can afford!!! And if that means that it is only $20 ...........so be it! I think it is a bit DISGUSTING that they are ASKING FOR CASH! I would give towels!!

**phoeny_moonstar** · 06-26-2009, 06:26 AM

First off, the bridge to be and groom to be should not be ASKING for cash. Anyways, personally if you can only afford $20 give 'em $20. Don't stop your debt pay off just to give people are getting married money. And this is coming from a bride to be herself!!

**Nana2two** · 06-26-2009, 06:36 AM

I would say $ 50 at the max . But personally more like $ 25

**Nana2two** · 06-26-2009, 06:39 AM

These days i find it common practice for people to ask if its ok to give money has a gift at a wedding.before it was always gifts. when hubby and i got married 5 years ago i bet 75 % was money. Its the norm any more.

**Grainlady** · 06-26-2009, 08:22 AM

I think they are missing out when they only get CASH gifts, and it's tacky to REQUEST cash, that should be an option to the giver. Bottom line, give what you can afford. When we were younger and money tight, it wasn't unusual for us to dip into the grocery money to fund a wedding gift. We just ate homemade pancakes and eggs more often that week (LOL).

More than likely at the age of 35, she already has a well-established home, so it's sorta understandable why people might request cash.... It's different when they are leaving their parent's home and just setting up a house and home and all those toasters and towels are useful.

If it's an accquaintance (usually people who work with hubby or the offspring of an accquaintance, who are just after the booty), I give $25 or equivalant in a gift (LOVE to shop Tuesday Morning for beautiful crystal serving pieces for wedding gifts) - and don't attend the wedding (which saves them the price of the reception meal), friends/their offspring $50 (don't attend the wedding), for family or a very close friend, $100. But this is rural Kansas and that may be low compared to other areas of the country.

I got married back in the dark ages - 1971. How fun it is to go through the china cabinet with my granddaughter and show her our wedding gifts and tell her about the people who were a big part of our life who gave them to us. Or when we use these items for holiday dinners and we stop to think of the people who took the time to choose them. You can't do that with CASH gifts.

**Momto2Boyz** · 06-26-2009, 08:33 AM

Really, I think it depends on what you can afford and not what anyone else is giving them.

If you were to have purchased a gift off a registry, what would you have set your budget at for that? I would give them whatever you had planned on spending on the gift.

**Momto2Boyz** · 06-26-2009, 08:35 AM

Or do you know where they are going on their honeymoon? Maybe instead of giving cash, you could give her something she could use on her honeymoon. If they are going somewhere tropical, you could give her a basket with beach towels, sunscreen, aloe and other "sun stuff" and dress it up with paper umbrellas and cute stuff. Just because they request cash, doesn't mean you have to give them cash!

**frugalwarrior** · 06-26-2009, 08:39 AM

Well, you should give what you feel comfortable letting go of. I personally see nothing wrong w/ cash. I literally garage saled my crystal after keeping it for years. What a burden to keep things like that because dear Aunt Sally meant well but didn't know you hate knick-knacks. Believe me I pick up some stellar deals on appliances this way.
We gave $25. to our friends from the shooting club. Todays economy has left many strapped for cash. We didn't attend the wedding and don't know if they registered. I got married in 1985. I got appliances,china and knicknacks. I didn't use the china in 20 years, appliances are personnel now and hardly anyone cooks. Guys attend showeres now appparently. How tacky would it be now to bring a can good to the shower. We used to think it was so cute. Things change. Cash,everyone can use.

**Mamaw** · 06-26-2009, 01:16 PM

If I am not attending the wedding, 50 max in a nice card. If I am attending, usually 100. I know that might be sort of on the low side but it is the best I can do., Remember, I normally get hit with a bridal shower gift as well.
Baby showers are another story for me.....jeez.....

**Gibs** · 06-26-2009, 01:28 PM

Here the norm is around 20 - 50 at the most unless its a immediate family relative....

**frugalfranny** · 06-26-2009, 01:34 PM

If it is MY CHOICE to give money then great, but for someone to REQUEST money from me is TACKY.

I do like the registers and think that they should register with several stores. Almost all major stores will do them now, from Macy's to Lowe's.

Also, how many times a year do you see them? How close are you? How well do you even know them? That factors in for me.

**Dutchie** · 06-26-2009, 01:42 PM

Originally Posted by Momto2Boyz

Or do you know where they are going on their honeymoon? Maybe instead of giving cash, you could give her something she could use on her honeymoon. If they are going somewhere tropical, you could give her a basket with beach towels, sunscreen, aloe and other "sun stuff" and dress it up with paper umbrellas and cute stuff. Just because they request cash, doesn't mean you have to give them cash!

What a great idea to give a gift that they can use on the honeymoon. I´m going to remember this idea!

**auntbkaraoke** · 06-26-2009, 02:04 PM

I think $50.00 is adequate especially in this economic time

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**Wendy99** · 06-26-2009, 03:25 PM

what a great question! i have a similiar situation .. except i'm IN the wedding party .. would that mean you contribute more? personally I like to give gifts you find on sale so it appears you spend more than you did and its easier on your budget; however you cant do that with cash .. just because they request cash, doesnt mean you HAVE you to give cash. I would say $30 to $50 if your giving cash.