Ever Wonder About Manufacturer's Directions?

[forHISglory]

Ever wonder about those warnings on products or the instructions manufacturers put with products? There are some lulus out there. I understand that they are trying to avoid law suits, but it does add to merriment to read some of these.

My favorite was a set of instructions that came with a pair of men's socks. This was a fancy boxed pair all wrapped in tissue (Walmart's 6 pack doesn't do these la-di-la instructions!). It went something to this effect:

"Hold the sock in front of you with the toe facing away. Grasp the top of the sock firmly with both hands, and begin to pull up the fabric into your hands. When the ankle material has reached your hands, ease the foot gently into the sock.........." You get the idea. We were rolling on the floor with glee as we read the instructions aloud with all the drama we could muster.

Can you share some of your favorites?

[HisDaisy]

This isn't a product warning, but a statement in a press release from the humane society about 4th of July. It included a list pet related safety tips. The 3rd read as follows:

"Don’t let your pet fire up the grill or light the bonfire."

If only our pets were so talented.

[madhen]

HisDaisy, that IS hilarious! Love it!!

[Grainlady]

How about all those things that say "this is not a toy". And for anyone who didn't know what a TOY was:

A toy is defined as:

"any product or material designed or clearly intended for use in play by children of less than 14 years of age"

[Momto2Boyz]

Some of the safety warnings on things are just hilarious! And I always have to think when I read something totally ridiculous, is that someone, somewhere had to have done something really stupid with this product for them to put this warning on there!

[forHISglory]

HisDaisy, your's was so funny! It puts a weird picture into my overactive imagination. And Momto2boyz, I agree, something precipitated the warnings, I'm sure. Either that or someone has a strange job description of writing these things.

Anyone remember the McDonald coffee situation where a lady put a cup of hot coffee between her legs while driving, and it scalded her? They had to put out a warning not to do that, and I believe the cups still have a warning label on them that the coffee is hot.

[shortstack]

Here are a few for you
1. On a blanket from Taiwan:NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
2. On a helmet-mounted mirror used by U.S. cyclists:REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
3. On a Taiwanese shampoo:USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavored milk drink:AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
5. On a New Zealand insect spray:THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer:TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TOWARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemoroids:LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOLSLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTIONLIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT.WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET. (Ouch!)
8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles:OPEN OTHER END.
9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins:WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
10. On a Sears hairdryerO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
11. On a bag of Fritos:YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.(The shoplifter special!)
12. On a bar of Dial soapIRECTIONS – USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
13. On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box)O NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
14. On a Marks & Spencer Bread PuddingRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
15. On a Korean kitchen knife:WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
17. On a Japanese food processor:NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I’m curious.)
18. On Sainsbury’s peanuts:WARNING – CONTAINS NUTS.19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts:INSTRUCTIONS – OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
20. On a Swedish chainsawO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.
21. On a child’s superman costume:WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.
22. On some frozen dinners:SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.
23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:FITS ONE HEAD.
24. On packaging for a Rowenta ironO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.
25. On Boot’s “Children’s” cough medicineO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.
26. On Nightly sleep aid:WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.

[pop goes the weasel]

how about the one on the peanut butter.............Warning may contain penauts......uh ok. Hair dryer......Do not use under water....

[SixxOfDiamonds]

Or the wonderful "Do not iron clothes while on body" on an iron. Yes, that was actually on the last clothes iron that I purchased. Aye.