punched in the gut: my child said they were gay!

**Missourimom** · 07-26-2009, 05:30 PM

Originally Posted by Buckeye5

For the religious people that haven't experienced this ever or yet, am I suppose to just quit being a mother to my child, or quit loving her as I know her, and condemn her because the bible says it is wrong?? If this is the case, than I don't want to be a part of any religion. That one was hard to say.

Well, I wouldn't let other people's opinion impact your faith and I don't understand why you think you would have to turn away from God because your daughter is a lesbian and if you do, I wonder how strong your faith was to begin with.

No, you are not supposed to stop loving your daughter or being her mother. I don't think God would ever want that either.

I really don't think you should worry so much about it. It will be what it will be. Continue being a faithful christian (if you choose to) and continue to love your daughter and things will fall into place over time. I just don't know how else to say it......just let it go and live your lives.

My situation is quite different than yours and issues were deeper than just her bisexuality (which I won't get into here.) I really couldn't imagine not loving a child who was truly a good person simply based on their sexual preferences, but I would pray for my child and as a Christian, that's what we're commanded to do.

**Megareader** · 07-26-2009, 07:24 PM

I haven't read every post in this thread, there are so many!, but here is my opinion for what it's worth.

The fact that your daughter was able to come out to you says a lot about the relationship the two of you have. She knew she could tell you and she knows you love her no matter what. She sounds like a wonderful woman and you are an awesome mom.

Your daughter and you rock!!

**kmeyrick** · 07-26-2009, 10:27 PM

Originally Posted by hwmabire3

I believe it is a choice, as well. There are hundreds of choices we make every day with regard to our preferences and behavior. If I'm on a diet and I want a piece of cake, I have to CHOOSE to have salad. If someone ticks me off, although my gut instinct may be to verbally tear them a new one, I CHOOSE not to.

That being said, I think discrimination is wrong. If someone chooses to be gay, that does not mean that they should be an open target for hateful people. They deserve just as much love and respect as anybody else.

There are churches out there that try and use the Bible to support their homophobia. I think that is disgusting. There is a big difference between disagreeing with someone and hating someone.

May I ask how and when you chose to be straight? What motivated you to be heterosexual? Were there any mitigating circumstances? Perhaps, should your financial situation or location change, would you continue to be heterosexual?

See what I mean? The evidence overwhelmingly states that homosexuality is not a choice. There is ZERO evidence to support the "choice" claim. There is *some* wiggle room with bisexuality, as that is a spectrum, but with homosexuality it is visible on brain scans.

You do not have control over your sexual orientation anymore than you do whether you are right or left handed, having a learning disability, having perfect pitch, etc. It is what it is.

**Guest57** · 07-26-2009, 10:35 PM

Originally Posted by Buckeye5

What the heck does that mean? The shame...? I am not ashamed of my child....I love them. My child is wonderfully kind, funny, etc. I feel many things but shame is not one of them.

Jesus tells us to 'love one another'...follow His example...keep on loving your child, even if you don't 'understand' because that is what (I believe) God is calling you to do!! I didn't understand that whole 'shame' comment, either!! And continue to pray for wisdom, and He will grant it to you, whether it be in how to deal with others (not kind) comments, understanding your own feelings, or reaching out to your child!!