In my next life Im coming back with a p*nis rant

**Lora88** · 08-03-2009, 09:53 AM

I have a very old school italian family boys are the gift from God and girls are nice but good only for taking care of family I have been taking care of my sick old parents for 3 years now my dad has passed away and my mother is going into a nursing home. I have one brother who was always clearly my mothers favorite He acknowledges this so I know Im not nuts lol. I have done everything cooking cleaning shopping moving them taking care of finances My brother has done nothing except live in my parents house in Bklyn for free. My brother has not even called or visited my mother since feb but still he is the golden child Go figure

**WV_mom_of2** · 08-03-2009, 10:09 AM

I have a sibling like that, only it's my sister. Doesn't matter what she does, how mean and nasty she gets or how badly she screws up her life, she's still my parent's favorite child!

Meanwhile I'm the one who tries to be perfect, to be the peacemaker, to make everyone happy. I am the one who took care of my grandfather for an entire summer before my 10th grade school year, spent years doing for my grandma, the one my mom vents to about the my brother and sister, etc.

HUGS!!

**MomToTwoBoys** · 08-03-2009, 10:57 AM

My mother does the same with my brother, but she works really hard on making us all equal.

I'm glad I have two boys because I'm the type to spoil a little daughter if I had one.

My SIL is having a girl first, but I bet you that she'll get spoiled way more than DS5 did when he was born since she's the first granddaughter between DH and SIL.

**cab54** · 08-03-2009, 12:52 PM

You will get payback someday for all of your lovingkindness and work. Maybe in this life, maybe the afterlife. I have a similar situation with a sister.

But hey, I just pay attn. to MY behavior, not hers or dads. How do I wanna feel about my actions when I'm laying on my deathbed? That's how I decide things anymore.

**mombottoo** · 08-03-2009, 03:29 PM

Stinks to feel like you are somewhere near the bottom of the totem pole, when someone who does nearly nothing is higher towards the top! But, when all is said and done you will have something your brother does not...you will have the memories you made while helping your parents...those are priceless!

**Karen1** · 08-03-2009, 04:51 PM

Originally Posted by Lora88

I have a very old school italian family boys are the gift from God and girls are nice but good only for taking care of family I have been taking care of my sick old parents for 3 years now my dad has passed away and my mother is going into a nursing home. I have one brother who was always clearly my mothers favorite He acknowledges this so I know Im not nuts lol. I have done everything cooking cleaning shopping moving them taking care of finances My brother has done nothing except live in my parents house in Bklyn for free. My brother has not even called or visited my mother since feb but still he is the golden child Go figure

You sound more sad Lora than just about your brother. Sorry your Dad passed away. And now your moms life has changed and it probably is getting scary for you. I know it would be for me. I have 2 healthy parents in their 80s. I dread "the time" when it all happens.

Go figure. Honestly that is all I can say. Don't drop all this mess in your mind on yourself. Sometimes it is best to just let it go. Sounds like you had a great family, but at the end the stuff is building up on you and it is getting on your nerves.

Life is short as we all know. Just hang in there and smile and know you helped your parents very very much and they do love you as much as your bro!

My Mom treats us all the same (me and 2 bros) but I know Rich (the first boy) is a tad favored. I don't care. Everyone has something that draws them a little more to the other person...even within kids in the family. That is just life. Never once were we ever made to feel less favored in the end. So I just let it go and am super happy we don't have tons of other family problems like so many.

So if this your only bit of annoyance, then your family is doing fabulous!!!!!

**frugalfranny** · 08-03-2009, 05:25 PM

Sorry to hear about your dad.

If you can't change your mother's thinking, nor change the way your brother runs his life.........which you can't....let it go before it eats you up. I don't think it is just Italian.......my bro was the favorite too.....the only boy.......of three kids. He just almost walked on water.

Also sounds like you are a bit stressed right now and might need to do something that is just for you.........take care of yourself.

**Lora88** · 08-04-2009, 07:20 AM

Thanks everyone I am always amazed at the kindness of the people on this board. I dont want to misrepresent myself as this kind loving person who sacrifices herself for her family I took care of my parents because there was noone else to do it. I adored my father and did not resent anything I had to do for him. My mother is another story we had a very confrontational relationship for years she is mean demanding and immpossible to deal with the only one she was nice to was my brother and he walked away from the mess living it with me it ironic that I got stuck being my mothers care giver. Now that she is going in the nursing home It will get easier for me in alot of ways there will still be things to do but it will be alot less and I am very happy about that. I am not happy about paying for the nursing home 10,000 a month is alot of money but i have let go of dream of the inhertiance which by the way my mother held over my head my whole life. One lesson I have learned is money isnt everything it sure did not make my mother happy and All the money in the world could not compensate me for the agrravation she has caused me