How do you stay upbeat?..........

**WV_mom_of2** · 08-05-2009, 11:58 AM

I swear it seems like life is just body slamming me every other day lately. Work is rough with alot of complaints about the boss and the other employees. I feel helpless because I can't help customers with their problems and the boss won't even listen. It's been so wet that it's a constant hassle to keep the bathrooms clean and mopped out. This weekend is our worst weekend all summer as far as I'm concerned. We have a church group that rents a shelter for their annual picnic every year. About 8-10 of our campsites will be rented by them and they are by far the RUDEST bunch of people we deal with all year. They treat both of us girls like dirt. They demand special treatment, get pissed when they don't get it, treat other campers like crap, break rules, etc. I honestly wish I could afford to take this weekend off LOL.

Money is so tight and I can NOT get Wells Fargo to cooperate. I can't seem to ever talk to the same person more than once. I can call twice in a day and have two different people tell me two different things. I have to make 2600.00 in payments this month or else. That will take nearly all of dh's check for the next four weeks and my next two checks as well. That leaves us with nothing for groceries or school supplies.

Then the crap with my brother, etc. It seems like every day something new is happening. And it's taking a toll on me and my body. I just feel so darned tired all the time. I have no desire or energy to get up and do anything. Today is my third day off in a row and I've done nothing! I've done laundry and dishes and cooked. No baking, no housework(and man it needs it), etc. I look at the house and think 'man what a mess' and then I just sit there.

And I have one more full time month of work before I go to weekends. Yippee for me having alot of time to myself.......boo hiss for having NO money all winter!

I'm trying to tell myself that it will be ok. We will get by and we will get over this hump and there is sunshine on the other side. I'm praying alot and trying to see the bright side of every issue. But man it's hard!

How do you stay upbeat and positive during hard times?

** does anyone know if there is a website to look into the government home modification thing??**

**Julzyann7** · 08-05-2009, 12:37 PM

First all...THEY CANT EAT YA!
Yeah, they can take your house, but they sure can't take anything that REALLY matters! My husband and I have struggled and stressed and cried and screamed over the debt we have gotten ourselves into! Our bills take up 98% of our income, we have very little wiggle room and even though he has one job that has steady income, and I do as well, his second job is working for himself, which has NO set amount of income but a set amount of bills! I feel your pain financially, and when you are financially stressed, it can make everything else seem like a landslide coming right at you!
But remember...the things in life that matter are nothing that the bank or credit card companies can take from you.
Have you considered finding another job, both for your finances and happiness? It may not be an option, but if so, you may want to look into it! Working full time year round would help ease your financial stress, and you may find something else you REALLY enjoy!

Plus there are SOME ways to make money online...small amounts from surveys, possibly a blog of some sort maybe...
Search for some deal blogs to find good deals on school supplies. I saw some for 1 penny!
To answer your actual question...focus on what you DO have in life! I have a BEAUTIFUL PERFECT SWEET daughter that God has blessed my WONDERFUL HARDWORKING LOVING husband and I with. That alone makes me want to shed tears of joy! Add on top my tightknit family and I am one BLESSED gal, and I know you are too!

The website that can help you get info on your mortage: http://makinghomeaffordable.gov
P.S. I have talked to others who have had the same problems with Wells Fargo. I don't think its just you!

**Greebo** · 08-05-2009, 12:47 PM

Originally Posted by WV_mom_of2

How do you stay upbeat and positive during hard times?

What's the alternative? Give up? Quit? What will your life be like in 5 years if you DON'T do everything you can to make the best of a bad situation?

**Karen1** · 08-05-2009, 12:51 PM

You have to have 2 things....a good long cry and a good long relaxing day. Just tune it all out. Seriously...you need to calm down and just breathe and forget the troubles in life. It is hard to do, but force yourself to not feel guilty about being tired and lazy and housework, who cares..LOL

Second....you gotta understand that life is life. It is "just going to happen" to us one way or another. Only thing certain in life is UNcertainty.

I am just upbeat most of the time.......I learned not to care too deeply about crap. I mean bills, other peoples problems, my stupid fix it problems, housework and all that. This stuff is not life. We gotta handle it the best we can, but it is not what we need to focus on. I focus on the good things in life every single day. I handle the bad but never, ever, make it my focus. I put in the time needed to fix a financial problem best I can...then move forward and smile. I let it go.

also contact the president of wells fargo. and I am serious. call into his office. even if you just have to leave a message...who cares. You go to the top and get this problem fixed properly. you are being jerked around and you gotta go to the top. I would. I bypass all the workers who can't seem to get a handle on my problem, and go right to the top. he will call you back. Just call again, get his phone number or extension or whatever to him or his assistant and don't get off that phone til you have his name and number. Then go into action. Time to stop the madness..LOL

Sometimes ya gotta attack and attack hard! But after the attack, try to find relaxation. I am truly learning to do what I need to handle problems, and then I just let it go and enjoy the rest of the day. It took me a while to learn how, but I made myself learn to relax and smile alot.

hmm...long chatting post but it felt good to type it out..LOL

so for me, I guess I don't need to make myself stay ubeat. I am upbeat most of the time, but like all, I sure get tired of it but am learning to blow it off and relax and never let it take over like it used too.

**ml2620** · 08-05-2009, 02:28 PM

WV Mom, I'm feeling the same way lately, overwhelmed, discouraged and paralyzed but what had to be paid, and what has to get done.

One day this weekend, I just HAD to get out of my house. Went to the beach by myself, took a three hour nap, read, cried and made some lists to get my head together. I highly recommend getting out of the house and away from the bills, the piles and everything that HAS to get done.

When I got home from the beach, I felt better and was able to tackle a bunch of items on my list and get a few things done.

**NikoSan999** · 08-05-2009, 03:22 PM

"How do you stay upbeat and positive during hard times? "

I don't. Most of the time I'm a depressive mess.

"First all...THEY CANT EAT YA!
Yeah, they can take your house, but they sure can't take anything that REALLY matters!"

Yeah, but what they don't tell you is that AFTER they take the house, in most states they can issue a deficency (sp) judgement and come after the rest of their money after they sell it for nothing OR issue you a 1099 for the difference in what is owed and what they sold it for as it is then considered income and you pay income tax on it. Now tell me how in the world if you can't pay in the first place can you do either?
And the debt forgiveness act...like peeing in the wind...jump thru hoops.

I agree with whoever said if you can find a part time second job then I'd go for it. For awhile until you get caught up. You have a stockpile, use it. Electric..turn off, unplug. School supplies, just get the basics and talk to the teacher first day of school. Surely they would work with you.

Daughter in Tn used to work in the hotel business. She always said church groups were the worst. Loud, demanding and rude beyond belief.

I too don't want to do anything. Sure I could get out. But even sitting with a friend my mind is elsewhere on bills or what is coming next. I know where you are coming from and if I weren't in Florida and back in Ohio I would say meet me in Wheeling and we would have our own pity pary.

**starsapphire** · 08-05-2009, 03:27 PM

Regarding your problem with Wells Fargo, you can try sending an email through planetfeedback http://www.planetfeedback.com/

I have had good luck with it when I was having a problem with Verizon wireless. Got a call from the office of the vice president of Verizon three days after sending them an email through planetfeedback and got our problem resolved. Good Luck!

**Teresa T** · 08-05-2009, 11:32 PM

Well I got my @$$ chewed out by my b**ch boss last week for (of coarse in my opinion

) no good reason. Was not happy at work the rest of the week.

I think of these things though when I'm feeling sorry for myself. Because it could have been a lot worse.

I was born in the USA.

Not in some middle eastern country.

I'm free.

I wasn't born in a country where I have to walk miles to draw possible contaminated water.

I don't live in a place where I could be hauled to prison for speaking my mind.

I'm an RN. I can always find a job whether it's ideal or not. The kitties and I will be supported. (really important in these times)

I think of other things too.

I sure hope you will be able to get your bank situation straightened out. I thought banks were trying to work with people right now. I'm sorry about all this trouble. Very stressful. I wish you the best.

**Sassyclass** · 08-05-2009, 11:51 PM

I do a lot of praying and have faith that God will do what is best for me and mine. I remember that He has always taken care of me.
Don't forget the good things, like the nice road workers who dumped the dirt in your drive. Take it one day at a time and trust God to answer your prayers. I'll be keeping you in my prayers.

Cat

**madhen** · 08-05-2009, 11:52 PM

I agree with going up the line of supervision at Wells Fargo. I can't remember how many times "insurmountable" problems have gone away with those magical words, "I'd like to talk to your supervisor about this."

I wish I could find it, but I read an article, some time ago, by a woman who talked about how she ended up lost in a foreign country, unable to speak the language, not remembering the name or address of the hotel she was staying at, tired, sore, and hungry from walking for hours trying to find some familiar landmark. The gist of the article was that after she got done with the panic, anger, and self-doubt, sitting on a curb and crying, she had an epiphany. She thought to herself that by tomorrow, things would be better. She would not starve to death or freeze to death. EVENTUALLY, if she perservered (and probably even if she didn't), she would find her way out of the mess and everything would be okay. She realized that SOME day, she would laugh about that day of being lost and not remembering her hotel name. I am not doing the article justice, but the gist of it was to move ahead and to not let anything overwhelm you, but to just tell yourself, "Some day, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, but SOME day, this particular problem will be ancient history and is not worth the anguish I'm allowing it to cause me today."

On days when things just seem to pile up on me, I do find myself thinking, "In a few hours..." or sometimes, "By next week...." and promising myself joy to replace whatever is causing me misery at the time.

**frugalfranny** · 08-06-2009, 02:05 AM

Originally Posted by WV_mom_of2

I'm trying to tell myself that it will be ok. We will get by and we will get over this hump and there is sunshine on the other side. I'm praying alot and trying to see the bright side of every issue. But man it's hard!

I hope you can get over this hump and convince yourself that this too will get better. Hang in there and take some time for yourself. I will be thinking about you and hoping for the best. hugs to you

**mauimagic** · 08-06-2009, 03:31 AM

How are things now for you? A lot of people have shared some great thoughts - you seem so totally overwhelmed - of course you could little on your three days off - I'm impressed you took care of as much as you did.

Hope you have some one to hug you - if not you need to pet an animal and feel the love...... have a good cry, vent, stay in touch with us - no matter what.

This will pass - you do get to choose the attitude you want to have to get through it. I'm still learning not to let other people have so much power over me because of their attitudes. I have a right to my point of view and attitude towards life - and you do too. Take care. God bless.

**Lora88** · 08-06-2009, 07:58 AM

A wise man once said to me there is no past and no future there is only the task at hand. Concentrate on one thing at a time when your feeling overwhelmed you cant get anything done. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other you will get where you need to be I know its hard to be upbeat when things are falling apart around you I have been there. Accept that this time in your life may not be the happiest But try to remember it could always be worseA good friend of mine suggested a road trip on one of my woe is me days She took me to a cancer ward and turned to me and said Now is your life really so bad ? at first I was pissed off at her but then I thought shes right it could be so much worse Hold on to whats good in your life Nothing stays the same forever it will get better

**WV_mom_of2** · 08-06-2009, 09:35 AM

Originally Posted by Teresa T

I sure hope you will be able to get your bank situation straightened out. I thought banks were trying to work with people right now. I'm sorry about all this trouble. Very stressful. I wish you the best.

Not Wells Fargo. I saw a report last week on HLN that the government was going to call in a bunch of the big banks that got bail out money and rip them a new one for NOT doing all they could to help people. Then on Monday I saw that the government had released a list of the worst banks for helping people with the mortgage mess and guess who was in the top 4? Yep, good ole WELLS FARGO! I'm hoping to catch up on the payments this month and then move the loan to another bank to be done with them!

**WV_mom_of2** · 08-06-2009, 09:44 AM

I just feel so stupid. I KNOW how to be frugal. I KNOW better then to get in a mess like this! But it's amazing what grief can do to turn your common sense off and make you do things you wouldn't normally do.

I'm really dreading work this weekend. I dread dealing with this group that is coming in. But I'm telling myself to be thankful that I HAVE a job to go to and smile. I will get through it!

As Greebo said, I have no choice but to keep going and make the best of the situation. There is nothing else to do but keep going. As soon as we get caught up on the house this month I am going to look into moving the loan to another bank. I'd love to move it my little hometown local bank. They are so kind and helpful there!

Thanks for all the ideas and hugs and kind thoughts. Just being able to vent and get it out somewhere helps! You guys are the best!!