Kids and back to school

**Nana2two** · 08-13-2009, 02:33 PM

I have a stepdaughter that is 14, well Monday they start back to school.Last week i mentioned that the weekend before school is no spending the night ect at her friends. Last week she stayed THu-FRI-SAT. I told her that was her final back to school. Now she is haveing a hissy because this is the last week left and she doesnt get to go anywhere. Am i wrong for making her stay home the last weekend. She has been gone almost every fri and sat.She isnt a bad kid. But she is being really hatefull today. They need to get things squared around for school. ANY INPUT?

**frugalwarrior** · 08-13-2009, 03:06 PM

The week before school starts is always tense because something new is starting. I always struggle w/ mine to get back on a daytime schedule. We can't be their best friends.Their opinions are scewed to there wants and rarely see the big picture. Being a parent is often to most rewarding unpopular job around. She's probably afraid she will be outed if she's not there and everyone else is. And she may be right. 14 year old girls are fickle and insecure. Bottom line-Whatever you decide,decide it and stick. Thw weak are eaten.LOL.

**Nana2two** · 08-13-2009, 03:14 PM

Very true. I had to start getting them up early becuase they catch the bus at 715, so they started getting up at 6am on Monday.So they are not happy with Mom and Dad right now.Its not a group sleep over just her wanting to spend the night. But if i do that then her getting up all week did nothing. Because they will stay up to wee hours of the morning and sleep all day..

**Nishu** · 08-13-2009, 04:56 PM

If she's being hateful, I wouldn't reward that with going out.

She's going to public school, right? It's not like she's being sent to boot camp. She'll have other chances to go out.

On the other hand though, I might have made a compromise and let her have a small outing as a way to blow off steam. It's probably stressful for the kids right now. But that doesn't matter since you've decided and that should be good enough.

**MomToTwoBoys** · 08-13-2009, 05:20 PM

I think you handled that pretty well. You told her something and she disobeyed. Whether she wants to admit it or not, she's still subject to the rules set by her elders.

DS5 goes back on Monday and we told him that he wasn't going out for most of the weekend. He's also going back to a 7pm bedtime, which he's not really fond of right now because most of his friends are still out then. It's gonna rain this week, though, so it's not like it matters.

**Neeley** · 08-13-2009, 05:35 PM

I don't stop ours (DD age 16 and DS age 14) from going out with their friends the week/weekend before school starts. Actually, the day before school started this year for we went to the lake and had our own "last blast" party time to say goodbye to summer vacation. DD is a very structured child naturally. She has always, and I mean basically since birth, kept herself on a very tight schedule. Plus, she is an over-achiever, top of her class, not a discipline problem, etc...You know that kid who asks the teacher for extra homework even when there is not any assigned? That is DD. She LOVES school. I really do not worry about her adjusting to the start of a school year. DS is a little less structured, but he has not had a problem making the adjustment in the past either.

Now if DS or DD was being rude or disrespectful, I would not give in and let them go out with their friends no matter what. If DS or DD has a legitimate issue with a situation, they can discuss it in an adult manner with us and we might make a change or compromise. But, if they treat anyone with disrespect or behave in a manner they know is unacceptable, then they have no chance of us reversing or altering our decision and more likely than not will have additional punishments added.

I don't think there is a single right or wrong way to handle it. What works for one child could be way off for another.

**Nana2two** · 08-13-2009, 06:16 PM

Her dad said she isnt going. Plus she came to us last night and said,
(By the way i have made my plans for Friday and Saturday. We already talked last week regarding this weekend so she knew. I asked her if she remembered what we said ,she said, yea but i went ahead and made plans anyway. HELLOOOOO.
Se has to obey the rules or she will be grounded.

**Missourimom** · 08-13-2009, 10:36 PM

Originally Posted by Nana2two

Her dad said she isnt going. Plus she came to us last night and said,
(By the way i have made my plans for Friday and Saturday. We already talked last week regarding this weekend so she knew. I asked her if she remembered what we said ,she said, yea but i went ahead and made plans anyway. HELLOOOOO.
Se has to obey the rules or she will be grounded.

:gaah: Well, with an attitude like that, there would be several weekends she wouldn't be going out if it was us.

**Nana2two** · 08-13-2009, 11:43 PM

Well she got grounded, after us telling her NO, she decided to have her friends mother call me.Im like you have to be kidding me. I told her friends mother NO,she respected that and understood.We have to keep her structered also, she has alot of emotional issues from her past,a her biological mom walked out when she was around 3 i came in her life when she was 8. She started counsling a month ago.She is mad because i will not allow her to do what she wants whenever she wants. I told my husband that he will have to deal with this because i have to many medical issues going on right now to deal with the stress.