Wednesday my dad had a heart attack. he is doing ok... i guess. he was with out oxygen off and on for about 45 minutes. we don't know how much oxygen he lost. doctors are doing and MRI this afternoon to determine whether or not he is brain damaged.
i wish that was the only thing... that would make it much better than what is going on. i turned my dad in a few weeks ago for meth use. he is currently in jail on work release for this. last time i saw him, we were in court and he was being hand cuffed..
i know that i am not in the wrong for what i did by turning him in. he was a huge drug issue and i want it fixed. i don't want to lose my dad i'm only 23.. he is only 41! however, i made the decision and i told him as well that i did not want him in my life if he was going to do drugs.
background**** on his wife. they have been married 2 years ish... until i told her (almost a year into the marriage) she had no idea that my dad had huge drug issues for the last 20 years,(he was clean from 2007 until feb of 2009) that he was abusive and severely narcissistic. she didn't believe me until feb. but she still thinks that he is a great man and denies he is on meth. ***
his wife is seriously not all there. she doesn't get normal life let alone when things are bad. she is 7 months pregnant and i have reason to believe she is using drugs as well. she has been nothing but a burden since we got to the hospital. i know she is his wife, and she's pregnant and emotional. but this is not just happening to her.
last night she proceeded to tell me that spouses are more important than kids. kids grow up and leave but spouses never leave. and that even when she's mad at him she still talks to him and doesn't leave (referring to mej and how i made the decision to not speak to him anymore until he admitted he had a problem and got help) i had to leave the hospital.. i was going to rip her face off..
to boot i am the only one that has been at the hospital. he has been here roughly 40 hours.. she has ONLY BEEN HERE AT THE HOSPITAL about 6 of them. i have only left for about 12 total.... and she tries to tell me she's more important? when he's not even important enough for her to stick around?
the only blessing about her not being around is that when she is around she is out of control. screaming and swearing at the nurses and me. climbing on the bed, pulling tubes out of my dad... i mean its ridiculous... the nurse had to call security last night.
ugh why is it that when it rains it pours? i just want him to get better.. and she is just causing major drama..
how would you handle her?
also does anyone know of any cheap or free meth rehab centers anywhere in the US?
thanks for listening.. well reading. i feel much better.
__________________
Brandi
Mom to Duramax and to Chelsi -I miss you
2010 goals
-Post 5 to 7 blog posts a week.
-$5/person/week grocery challenge
-Homestead skill a month challenge-
JAN-hm bread- still working on-FEB-HM tortillas-done-MARCH-sourdough bread
-2010 homemade Christmas
-Fling 2010 Things in 2010 Challenge 1361/2010
-2010 sewing challenge-MARCH-project snuggles
-2010 needle arts challenge- MARCH-wash clothes for haiti
First, LOTS of hugs to you and I'm sorry about your Dad.
I hope he gets stable & gets clean... hopefully this will be a reality check for him...
As far as his wife goes... she's obviously not all there.
NEITHER spouse nor child is more important than the other... they're equally - but differently - important!
YOU know that... try not to let it bother you.
Anything you'd say will probably just fuel her fire, so just smile & nod.
You dont need to prove anything to her... you dont need to justify yourself.
It's your DAD that matters now... and if she continues on w/her rant, just say that... "we have a difference of opinion, but one thing we agree on, we want him better. let's focus on that for now."
Hopefully that'll work... otherwise, just ignore her.
It's about your relationship w/your Dad, him getting healthier and him getting clean. And he needs someone (sane) to point that out when he becomes mentally clear.
If you think she's on drugs while pregnant, I'm sure there's someplace you can report her to. I don't know of that place off-hand, but I'm sure there are other ppl here in the Village who know what to do.
G'luck and I hope your Dad's ok. Hugs!!!
__________________
a little creativity and imagination can take you a long way -perSue
The Following User Says Thank You to perSue For This Useful Post:
Sorry you are going through this. Calm, positive healing thoughts go out to you, your father and his family.
The old adage, "You can't choose your family." applies here. Just remember that what you CAN choose is how to react to them. It sounds like you did the right thing by leaving the hospital and it also seems that others around you see what's going on. Good for you for staying level headed.
Remember, this too, shall pass. *hugs*
__________________ Total Immediate Debts
9138.86/9138.86
Emergency Fund 300/1000
2009 Change Jar Challenge 22.08/
Savings 0/5000
No Spend Challenge 0/9 (days left in Sept)
The Following User Says Thank You to Brighid For This Useful Post:
Your father should be assigned a social worker and you could ask about rehab options.. Hopefully you will be there when he/she comes around. Even if you are not, he/she should leave a card. You could also ask a nurse how to contact the social works.
BIG HUGS TO YOU!
__________________
Mary
Dehydrating - the "other" air freshener
Chase CC - Paid off 06/09
B of A CC - Paid off 07/09
Hospital - Paid off 02/10
Harley - $15,480
House - 08/07 Start $127,944, Balance $115,008
The Following User Says Thank You to savvy_sniper For This Useful Post:
You did the right thing by turning your Dad in for his meth use. Meth is the worst drug for someone to be addicted to and very scary. Parents have to pull 'tough love' and sometimes so do the children on the parents and that is exactly what you did. I don't know of any meth rehab centers...you should google it as I am sure there is quite a few.
As far as his wife is concerned she sounds like a wacko. Spouses are no more important than children...just in a different way. I would try to avoid her as much as you can and when you can't, don't lower yourself to her level. Remain calm when dealing with her and show her who the adult is.
I wish you and your father well and hopefully this will be a wake up call for him. If there is no past history of heart trouble in the family, the heartattack was probably caused by the meth use.
Seriously, if she is impeding his recovery by pulling out tubes, crawling up on the bed, etc, or even just with her emotional outbursts, you might be able to talk to security at the hospital and have her banned from coming in at all. I can't imagine the hospital looks too kindly on people who come in and act that way. If there is a sympathetic nurse, you might start there.
Good luck. There is a growing mountain of evidence that methamphetamine, in some cases even when used only once, causes its victims to suffer a chemical imbalance identical to that of some medically-defined mental disorders, so it goes beyond "just" a drug-addiction. At this point, it is more like dealing with someone who is clinically paranoid-schizophrenic. You can't really judge him for who he is now, anymore than you can judge someone who is clinically diagnosed with a mental defect, although the initial decision to use meth was obviously his. And on the flip side, you can't judge yourself too harshly for the actions you were forced to take to protect yourself and your loved ones.
__________________
DH aka Mad Hen
EF fund: $0/$2,500.00
March grocery: $0/355 March no-spend: 6/15 2010 Lose-A-Pound-A-Week: 8/12 (146.8 - 138.8)
You did the right thing. I hope your father has a swift recovery and is able to get the help he needs.
__________________
~ Michelle
Wife to DH--
Mom to DS--
and DD--
Avatar picture taken at Mission San Jose, San Antonio, October,2009.
----------------------
EF- $1648 /$8000 (starting all over after having to buy a car)
Mortgage -- $58,097.96
March Emergency Fund Challenge-- $300 /$400
----------------------
"The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got." --Will Rogers
The Following User Says Thank You to Michelle68 For This Useful Post:
First off prayers and hugs to you and your family. I'm a recovering addict and you did the right thing by what you did, as for his wife she needs help .your father is lucky to have such a loving and caring daughter in his life this was his wake up call . now social services should get involved hopefully and get him in rehab and his wife some help before the baby comes . Your in my thoughts and prayers ,also remember after rehab there is narcotics anonymous meetings in every city,state and country . God Bless, klean163
The Following User Says Thank You to klean163 For This Useful Post:
Sorry to read that you are going through this....my heart goes out to you.
You were right in what you did....you had to do it. I think I might inquire at your local social services about the help that would be available for when he is released.
Also, good luck dealing with the wacko......think I would even 'suggest' to the social worker that she 'might' be on drugs too.
__________________
Travel light. The baggage of the past can only hold you back.
[=http://www.frugalvillage.com/forums/group.php?do=discuss&group=&discussionid=173]January Book List]
The Following User Says Thank You to frugalfranny For This Useful Post:
Brandi, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish I had some advice for dealing with crazy step-relatives, but ... baseball bat's about all I can come up with...
__________________
If you could kick in the pants the person responsible for your problems, you wouldn't be able to sit for a month.
Did you know that a 4 year student paying $20,000/year who finances their education graduates with over $103,000 in debt to start? But a student who works and pays cash and takes 6 years to graduate ends with $6,300 in their pocket! So much for "getting a head start by financing!"
Greebo(Nerd Spender): Loving and extremely patiently tolerated husband of ceashels. WARNING: Y Chromosome behind the keyboard. Adjust your listening filters appropriately!
Three mortgages, twoone no car loans, one no credit cards, and a partridge in pear tree!
The Following User Says Thank You to Greebo For This Useful Post:
Hugs and sending prayers and good thoughts your way.
__________________
"Now that you're here, the word of the Lorax seems perfectly clear. UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."
"There are strange things done in the midnight sun By the men who moil for gold; The Arctic trails have their secret tales That would make your blood run cold; The Northern Lights have seen queer sights, But the queerest they ever did see Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge I cremated Sam McGee"
by Robert W. Service
The Following User Says Thank You to Rhiamon For This Useful Post:
Connect with Facebook
my dad had a heart attack
and to Chelsi 
-I miss you
DS Luke (19)
FIL 
EF fund: $0/$2,500.00 
March grocery: $0/355 
March no-spend: 6/15
2010 Lose-A-Pound-A-Week: 8/12 (146.8 - 138.8)
2010 Reading Challenge: 7/100 
2010 Recipe-a-Month: 1/12 
2010 Veggie Recipe-a-Month: 2/12
Run/walk challenge: 25.5/520 miles 
2010 Skill-a-Month: 1/12 
2010 Project-a-Month: 1/12 
Fling 2010 in 2010: 366/2010
Total debt (with mortgage, HELOC, and 2 cc's): Nov 2009: $302886.42
Linear Mode
