Ungrateful Child...

[wjcalderon]

I think the diaper idea is the best, but I wouldn't go to the shower.

I have an unmarried niece who lives out of state. She couldn't be here for Christmas, so I sent a small gift by my brother. I never even got an acknowledgement that she had received the gift. I overlooked this since she was about to have a baby and probably had a lot on her mind.
When her baby was born in January, I made her a beautiful monogrammed diaper bag and again sent it by my brother. Again, no response from her.
I mentioned this to my brother a couple of months later and he told me that she was sending handwritten thank-you notes and I would get one soon.
It's been 8 months now - no note - no email - no phone call - nothing.

This is going to save me a little money at Christmas - she's off the list!

[CrazyHomemaker]

DH actually asked if I was going to the shower. He must've been thinking about how I felt. Here's how it's going down.

I've made the cheap-o basket. DH and I will drop it off at her parents' house Friday evening. We'll stay for a short visit. Saturday, the day of the shower, DH and I have something else to do. We'll do our job first thing in the morning, but it will be a strenuous thing. I told DH I won't be going to the shower because I'll probably be really tired. I'm not as young as I used to be and neither is he. All is well.

[Nishu]

Just out of curiosity, am I reading this right?

A month ago, I received an invitation to something at a church for the neice, but the invitation didn't state what it was for. I didn't go because I just got back from my father's funeral and the event was the following day.

Did you get invited to her shotgun wedding and not go?

[Libby]

Nishu's point does make one think....

Personally if I were in your position, I'd opt out of going and would phone her to personally decline and explain why politely. Sugar coat it if need be. If I felt obligated for a gift, I'd prob send a card and make a small donation in her name or their family name to some organization or plant a tree on the baby's behalf. A gift that keeps on giving if you know what I mean. She won't be able to gain materialistically from it and she's still getting a 'gift'. But again...that's my take on it.

[frugalfranny]

I vote don't go also.

And if you still felt obligated to send a gift I would make it a small gift basket. REAL SMALL. If she doesn't like the things you have given her she will probably just waste it anyway. Or go to the 'high end' store and ask to get a gift certificate in the amt. that you would have spent on the gift basket..............and send it in a card!

You REALLY don't want to go......I don't believe there is such a thing as 'keeping the peace' and if they haven't kept you updated enough about other things the invite is simply asking for a gift.

[CrazyHomemaker]

Just out of curiosity, am I reading this right?

Did you get invited to her shotgun wedding and not go?

Here's the story on the wedding...

My DH came home at noon on a Saturday from visiting our nephew (the ungrateful child's uncle) and asked me if the mother called me. I said no. Why would she call? Well, UGC was getting married that day at 4 pm. I told DH I hadn't heard a thing. Well, it seems that no one from the Dad's side got invited, except for the uncle.

The following week we received this invitation in the mail. It must've been a wedding reception of sorts. It didn't say. I have yet to find out what it was for.

As for the shower...didn't go. I made DH take me to the mother and father's house for a quick visit to drop off the basket and see how the dad was doing. He just got out of the hospital.

I also couldn't justify spending more money on UGC so I didn't put in the manners book or thank you notes. It's a plain ol' basket with stuff in it. I posted a pic in my Etc., Etc., Etc... album, if you want to take a look.

I feel better not going. I'm just curious to see if I get a thank you note in the mail from them.

Thanks for all of your suggestions. It is done.

Take care.

[CrazyHomemaker]

Here's a great surprise for me!

I received a 'thank you' note on Friday. That's WITHIN a week of the shower. I even think UGC wrote it!