I'm new here - can I whine?

[Lillianna]

Hello,
I'm an active member on several weight loss/health related boards that have general chat areas...but I'm reluctant to post about money issues there because it's embarrassing and I've gotten to know so many people there. I did a search on "frugal message boards" to hopefully find others that understand the frustration of being poor.

I'm just so tired of not having enough money and of living paycheck to paycheck. I live pretty darn frugally as it is but I know I could do even better. The things I splurge on are health related--some organic produce and meats (not that often but occasionally) and items from the health food store. I had a lot of health issues before I embarked on my new way of eating. I don't feel I can give that up.

But, in every other area of my life I make do. I've lost 40 lbs. in the last 8 months. I have another 40 or 50 to go but I'm proud of how far I've come. But, I've bought barely any new clothes and everything is big, baggy and hanging off me. My bras are old and awful and way too big. I did spluge on some new underwear : ) ..from WalMart, of course. My other underwear was falling off me. But I can't afford even socks or shoes from Payless. When I have any extra money --which is rare -- I spend it on clothes for dd (12). Everything I buy her is from WalMart or on clearance. I feel so bad that she can't go school shopping with hundreds of dollars like her friends do. She loves clothes and fashion and she's pretty understanding about our financial situation.
My car is literally falling apart and I have no money to fix it. I dread going anywhere in it because I know it will break down soon. I paid a lot for day camp for dd over the summer and it just wiped out my meager savings. I don't have a penny to spare. I have loads of bills due and about $180 in the bank, with which to buy food and gas for the next three weeks. The bills will have to wait. Luckily, I have no credit card debt--I cut up all my cards years ago. But the monthly bills are more than I can handle. I'm just rambling now. Thank for listening. I can't talk to anyone about this. If I say anything to my friends they offer me money and feel sorry for me and it's too humiliating. So I pretend that everything is fine --and I turn down invitations to movies and plays --making up excuses because I just don't have the money.

I have a pretty good secretarial job (plus two other very part time jobs) but they just doesn't cover my rent plus monthly expenses. I work too hard to be so broke all the time.

If I worked harder at menu planning and coupon-clipping I know I could cut my food budget. I pay between $70 and $90/ week for groceries --that's for 3 meals a day for both dd and myself--it also includes dog food and all our toiletries--they're cheaper at the supermarket than any place else. DD brings her lunch to school and I bring mine to work. We never eat out or even get a takeout pizza. I'm so frugal as it is that it's hard to believe I can cut back any more --but I'm sure I could. I'd just like to have a little savings account for emergencies.

Sorry for my rambling first post -- I just really needed to get this out. I would love to hear from others out there who are struggling --just so I don't feel so alone. I live in a fairly affluent area and I know very few people who are struggling financially (or at least that will admit it).

[Nishu]

We have a financial hardship forum you might enjoy hanging out it in.
[ame="http://www.frugalvillage.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=221"]Financial hardship - Frugal Village Forums[/ame]

I'm sorry you're having a rough time, but I'm sure the villagers here can give you some advice.

[MomToTwoBoys]

I'm so sorry that you're struggling and honestly, a lot of people are probably in the same position you're in... you're not alone.



I have an idea; what about your DD getting something like a paper route or some babysitting jobs to help out? It'd buffer her clothing costs and she could do the same thing that her friends are doing. Is that plausible?

Being a single mom is really hard, especially in this economy. I would suggest checking out the meal planning and couponing information on these forums if you're really interested in that. It's highly beneficial.

[WV_mom_of2]

Welcome to the group! Money is tight for us too and I can understand how you are feeling! Jump right in with us and you will learn a lot and have lots of ears to listen!

[Lillianna]

Thank you both : ) I do feel better already --just getting it out there feels better. Maybe I should start a journal.

I will check out the financial hardship board. I go through life trying so hard to hide my financial situation -- I really need a place where I can talk about it.

That's a good idea about dd getting a little job. She's going to start helping out in our church nursery on Sundays. Although it's not a paying job I told her it was a good way for her to meet families who might need a babysitter or mother's helper.

When I have more time I'm going to check out all the ideas on here. I just made the decision to cut our cable TV for one year. That will be hard but doable. I'm sure I can find lots of savings ideas here : )

Lillianna

[Greebo]

I live in a fairly affluent area and I know very few people who are struggling financially (or at least that will admit it).

You'd be surprised.

Very few families could go more than one week without a paycheck. That, by definition, is financially struggling. They're just not struggling quite as hard as you at the moment.

Welcome to FV - hope you come to feel at home!

[Lillianna]

Welcome to the group! Money is tight for us too and I can understand how you are feeling! Jump right in with us and you will learn a lot and have lots of ears to listen!

Thank you! I'm glad I found this board--can't wait to explore it!

[justpeachy92]

Hi and welcome to the village. Congrats on the success you have had on your weight loss. I am sure if you asked their are several members here that could share some of their favorite frugal healthy meals.

[tervsforme]

Welcome to the village! Money is tight here as well. There is lots of great tips and information available. I use tips I've learned from here almost every day! Happy exploring!

[MaryCarney]

You have come to the right place!!! Welcome!!!

Caveat: sometimes people on the forums (myself included at times) are brutally honest. For most of us, it's because it was the only thing that worked in getting OUR attention about money matters, and so we are literally sharing what worked for us. It's not personal, it's our way of trying to help a fellow-traveler.

What weight loss forum were you on???? "Cause that 40# you lost somehow magically way made it's way to me!!!

[Grainlady]

Personally, anyone who can lose 40-pounds can get their finances in hand. Neither task is easy, but soooooooooooo rewarding!!! on your accomplishments and good luck getting the rest of your challenges turned around.

And to echo MaryCarney, you've come to the right place.

[Lillianna]

Thanks everyone-- I like this place already : )

I've lost my weight thanks to lowcarbfriends (dot.com). I was pre-diabetic so I knew I had to go low carb. They have a very supportive community. My blood pressure and cholesterol have gone way down and I feel so much better.

I feel better about my finances since posting-- now I'm thinking proactively. I've felt so helpless lately. But, in reality, there are areas where I waste money--not a lot but it adds up. I don't have a lot to save, but even if I can squeeze another $200.00 out of my monthly budget it would help a lot. The monthly cable bill is $50.00 for basic. I think I can cut that down to $10.00 by getting the minimal channels. Bonus: no more MTV for my daughter : )

[Greebo]

sometimes people on the forums (myself included at times) are brutally honest

Greebo whistles innocently. Brutally honest? HIM?

[Mummy2]

Welcome!
Believe it 60% of of our population lives paycheck to paycheck, I think you came to the right place.

I got divorced and with that went the cable and internet, that was over 6 years ago now, you will love the time you get to spend with DD.

Congrats on the weight loss!!! As for the droopy clothes have you looked at any thrift stores? From one droopy drawer girl to another, bigger clothes are a great sign of more weightloss to come! Hang in there!
Katie

[jlaporte]

welcome! and u r in the right place! my first suggestion was does ur daughter qualify for free lunch at school? my 3 sons do and that a HUGE help. and they like it. i am sure u will get loads of advice and shoulders here. i kno i have. times are hard for most of us in one way or another. we live on my husbands biweekly paycheck. some weeks r harder then others. but like u we always make due with less so our kids have. i have learned to strech my nickels and get nice things and really pay 50-75% less for it. i kno some ppl barter and thrift store shop. personally for me being fat i havent tried that. i want to but well its on my list. great for you loosing weight i am sure u feel so much better.but in reality u came to the right place. the ppl here are great and understanding.for me sometimes just reading the posts lift me up and i feel less alone. and we all need a place to rant and express ourselves. where we wont b judged.so welcome to the FV family glad to know you!!