The bullies are back..........

**WV_mom_of2** · 09-30-2009, 07:18 AM

You might remember me posting about my son(13) being bullied at school last year. I complained to teachers and to the assistant principal but nothing was done. It finally settled down and he finished out the year on a pretty good note.

So far this year we'd had a great year. It's his last year of middle school and he's joined the band, been on an overnight science field trip,etc. He was really liking school. Until yesterday when it started again.

He came home with a bruise on his arm. Apparently one of the bullies walked up to him in PE and hit him in the arm trying to get him to fight. My ds pushed him out of his face and told him to back off. So the bully runs and gets another bigger kid LOL. They came up and the bully crossed his arms and stood really close to my son, so he turned around and walked off the other way. I was livid! I called and spoke to our new principal and he had me bring ds up around 5pm and talk to him. He is an ex-Marine and pulls no punches. He told me he doesn't counsel kids, he punishes them! He looked at the bruise and wrote up a report. He's going to speak to the PE teacher today because ds reported it to her and then to the kid. He said the child WILL be punished, probably by after school dentention because he's already had several lunch detentions. This is going to hit him hard because he is the star football player and will have to miss a practice to serve his detention.

Ds is very nervous about going to school today. He's afraid the kid will get him in the bathroom and hit him. I told him to go to the bathroom with other kids, not alone. And if the boy corners him and there is NO way out but to fight, to fight hard and hurt him. I told him not to worry about what he does to the boy. I even gave him tips on how to hurt the kid.

I HATE this! My son is a wonderful kid. He is smart, funny, polite, respectful, and friendly. He wouldn't hurt a fly(well except during hunting season LOL). All the teachers love him. He is NOT a sports kid and that is why the sports bullies target him.

I told the principal that if something happens to ds I will be back and he will NOT be happy to see me! I told him I would be filing charges against the kid and he'd get much more than after school detention by the time I was done. He assured me that he will take care of it to the best of his ability and he will tell the kid that the teacher reported it to keep ds out of it. I took a picture of the bruise too.

I know kids get in fights all the time at school. But this is NOT why I send my son to school. He should be able to go and learn and feel safe darn it! I've been trying to teach my son that violence is not the answer and that in adult life you can't go around beating someone up every time they mess with you. But like I told the principal yesterday, the rage is building in him and me and if they don't put a stop to it I'm going to turn ds loose!

**Judi Dial** · 09-30-2009, 08:18 AM

I hope this gets resolved in a positive way for your son! It's hard being the target of abuse, and the hardest part is feeling helpless, which your son isn't, he has YOU in his corner.

I'll keep you and your son in my prayers --

Judi

**miss_thrifty** · 09-30-2009, 08:25 AM

hugggs dear. Ihope that the principal does resolve it. we have ano bully system here but it doesnt always work. keep us up todate .

**KatieInLa2** · 09-30-2009, 08:52 AM

Sounds like you did a great job of standing up for your son. Hope the principle gets everything straightened out for him.

**WV_mom_of2** · 09-30-2009, 08:55 AM

Originally Posted by miss_thrifty

hugggs dear. Ihope that the principal does resolve it. we have ano bully system here but it doesnt always work. keep us up todate .

we have a no bully system here too. But it's never been enforced. It's supposed to be even stricter this year. According to the paper they sent home even rolling your eyes at another student is considered bullying. When I complained last year to the assistant principal she told me that unless an adult saw it happen they couldn't/wouldn't do anything about it. They couldn't call a child in on just another child's say so.

This has been going on for three years. There are two particular boys who seem to target not only my ds but others as well. One has been able to get by with it because his mom was the school secretary. Any time he was written up he'd run to mom who would either rip up his form or talk to the assistant principal who she was friend's with and get it thrown out. She's been transferred to another school this year so I think he will settle down now.

This other boy is the football star. And he's the child of a mother who is a bit of a bully herself. She has three of the meanest troublemakers you'd ever want to meet but to hear her tell it they are angels who do nothing wrong. Once he has to miss football practice I'm positive she will go to the school and raise hell. I warned the principal and he told me not to worry about it, he'd deal with her too LOL.

It just makes me so sad that my child really goes out of his way to be a good kid and he can't just be left alone. I know that both of these bullies are jealous of ds. They are both very short and he's almost six feet tall. They are not the smartest kids and he is in the advanced classes. They are NOT well liked by other kids(except other bullies) and ds is liked by just about everyone. But if you don't like someone why not just leave them ALONE?????

I am really sad today and almost sick to my stomach. I fear for my child and his well being.

**ShellyB** · 09-30-2009, 09:03 AM

I am really surprised that the school hasn't done anything. If anyone lays a hand on another student, the police are called and both students are hauled to the police station - NO EXCEPTIONS. Granted your son would have to go, but since he didn't do anything, nothing would happen to him. I think I would ask to look at their school policy - in this day and age they need to be doing more.

**WV_mom_of2** · 09-30-2009, 09:15 AM

Originally Posted by ShellyB

I am really surprised that the school hasn't done anything. If anyone lays a hand on another student, the police are called and both students are hauled to the police station - NO EXCEPTIONS. Granted your son would have to go, but since he didn't do anything, nothing would happen to him. I think I would ask to look at their school policy - in this day and age they need to be doing more.

I wish it was like that here, it might stop some of this crap. I have seen the policy twice this year. They have steps here that are taken when something happens and they are obligated my law to follow them. First they get a talking to, the next few offenses gets them lunch detention, then they move to after school detention a few times, then to one day out of school, then three days, then five days and maybe finally they would get expelled. There are offenses that get you out for a day or two without the other steps too.

IF ds fights back he will be given out of school suspension along with the bully, even if the other kid hits him first. I told the principal point blank that if that happens I will GLADLY pick ds from school and he and I will enjoy those three days going out to lunch and going fishing LOL. By the time we left he KNEW I was mad and meant business.

The real problem here lies in the PE teacher. This is the woman that I used to babysit for. She just does NOT care. There is no camera in the gym and she knows it. Last year she stood by and watched a fight start and turned her back and stood there and let the kids beat each other up. I pointed this out to the principal and asked if there is a camera in the gym. When he told me no I said "well there you have it. It happens in there and she lets it happen because she knows you can't prove anything". So he's supposed to talk to her and be watching her classes too. We will see what happens.

**ShellyB** · 09-30-2009, 09:25 AM

Not that I endorse going over someone's authority but maybe when you feel it warrants it, I'd go talk to your local police detectives and ask for their advice.

Our local "Weed & Seed" police program works directly with our schools.

**Greebo** · 09-30-2009, 09:33 AM

Give the Principal a chance to resolve it before you start planning the revolution.

**LynnLC** · 09-30-2009, 11:41 AM

My son is a popular sports kiddo home here on 3 day suspension and I am proud of him. I got a call saying he got in a fight. My son had been witnessing another kiddo being bullied. I always tell my sons if you see someone being bullied and do nothing you are just as guilty. This bully threw a punch at a smaller kid, my son walked in between them and stood there. The bully threw a punch at him and my son flattened him. I do not condone violence but ,believe me, this punk will think twice.

Is there another kiddo your son could befriend? I know its real tough at this age. Wish you lived in MA. I could send over my "equalizer".

**calimomx2** · 09-30-2009, 11:52 AM

I hope this all gets resolved ASAP for you and your son!!

**Cricketlegs** · 09-30-2009, 12:43 PM

I am so sorry this is happening to your ds and to you.

**melanies** · 09-30-2009, 12:48 PM

Originally Posted by Judi Dial

which your son isn't, he has YOU in his corner.

This is what I was thinking when I read the op. What an awesome mom. I'm sure her son feels the same way!

**Nana2two** · 09-30-2009, 12:48 PM

These kids can be MEAN!! Hope everything works out ok, don't stop reporting.

**Minner77** · 09-30-2009, 01:39 PM

My heart goes out to you, WV Mom, truly it does.

My 6'1" son was bullied in high school (a snotty, elitist private high school, which we didn't realize was such till we sent him there -- humongous mistake) because he refused to take part in bullying and was almost literally told flat-out that you'd be bullied yourself if you didn't join in. Well, guess what? That was true -- and he wouldn't join in. Hate to say it, but now, 5 years later, he's still suffering from the wounds. It hurt him profoundly. I did go talk to the administration, did all I could..... very long story (I'll spare you), but it's among the reasons we not just pulled him from the school but moved far away.

My other DS stood up to a bully on behalf of another kid (different school), and flattened him. He now has that on his "permanent record," because they had to record it, but the principal was pretty philosophical about it: he listened to the story, said he couldn't condone the fighting, but at heart wasn't too upset with DS for defending someone else from a bully. And my DS isn't really a big kid, either, nor a "popular one," just one who saw injustice being done and stepped in.