For those of you who go to church...

**forHISglory** · 10-03-2009, 06:00 PM

How did you decide which church to attend or join?

We just moved, and know that we will need to find a new church home. It's just part of who we are and there is no question about whether or not to attend church. Our problem right now is finding the right place for us.

So.... how did you make this decision?
Was it because you always belonged to this particular denomination? Is it the church your family attends? Or your friends?
Does it offer the activities, the ministries, the programs that meet your needs?
Is it because of the age, ethnic structure, income levels, or other demographic factors?
Does the size of the church matter?
Were you looking for vitality, warmth, formality, informality, casual come-as-you-are-ness? Is it how comfortable you feel there?
How about location; is it because the church is the nearest one?
Did it matter to you if you felt needed there; if you had a job to do or a position to fill?
Did you evaluate the music/worship style?
How about the preaching style?
Was the theology in line with what you believed? What other factors mattered to you?
If there was more than one church of your preferred denomination in the area, how did you decide which one to attend?
Did you go looking for new friends?

We are a little frustrated right now with the choices available to us. We're not giving up, and have more churches to explore. But I 'd be interested in hearing your story.

**2ndGenGranola** · 10-03-2009, 07:26 PM

We chose our church based on their statement of beliefs. We wanted the one that lined up with ours (most have theirs printed on their websites now). We then went for a few weeks to see if their beliefs in action met up with their beliefs on paper. Lining up the the Bible is most important to us. Styles take a way lesser role but all must point to God.

We only found out after we had joined that they had openings in the volunteer positions that we like. The church is way bigger than my ideal church but I have come to like it.

Our church happens to be close. That is just an extra nice point. We have driven as far as 16 miles before.

If we find more than 1 church that lines up theologically, we start working our way down our set up hierarchy of "needs" and possibly even "wants" until one stands out.

**joyofsix** · 10-03-2009, 07:29 PM

I chose by denomination. If I had it to do over I might choose differently. Looking at older kid and teen things weren't in the cards back when we just had one 1yr old.

**Missourimom** · 10-03-2009, 08:36 PM

When I joined, I liked variety of times of the services, the many different classes offered and the pastor. Now I just watch or listen to the sermon on the computer and print out Bible studies off the internet.

**RABBIT** · 10-03-2009, 09:10 PM

We moved 7 years ago to a different area although we continued to drive 35 miles back to our old church every Sunday. When we realized that we could not attend extra curricular things with the church due to the drive we started looking for a new church in our area. We did stick with the same denomination but it didn't matter to us to have to pick the closest one although that is the one we did end up at.

We visited quite a few churches before we ended up attending a service at our church. Orginally I thought the church was too small, we were used to a very large church, so we didn't even visit our church until we had went to many others.

Yes, the theology was in line with what we believe, I would not attend a church that wasn't. I do believe that I should be of service in my church and we have always belonged to churches that have many volunteering opportunties so that was not a problem. As far as friends go, they came about quickly. It's a very friendly church.

I prayed alot and asked God to direct us to the right church for us and when we visited our church that first Sunday we both knew this was the church for us. We stopped looking and became part of our church family.

**HisDaisy** · 10-03-2009, 10:46 PM

For us the denomination is not as important as their statement of beliefs. We wont even consider a church if they can't produce a statement of beliefs that lines up with what we believe.
We also consider size and whether there are opportunities for us to be involved in ministries.
When we visit a church we also attend their adult sunday school class. You can tell a lot about the health of church by their sunday school classes.
First impression also mean a lot to us. I am able to over look small items (such as worship styles or church size) if the people are friendly and happy to have us there.
My DH and I have made 2 major moves in 3 years, so I truly feel your pain about having to find a new church.
My best advice is to check the statement of faiths and come up with a list nonnegotiables with your DH. Also remember that churches can have bad days just like people so you may have to give them a few different weeks.
Above all pray and remember that God has a church family for you.

**Monner 1** · 10-04-2009, 07:06 AM

I didn't have a problem since I have gone to the same church since I was 9 and as it happened my husband went to the same church all of his life. I guess I had no stress making my decision on the church since it was made for me.

Monner

**tigo** · 10-04-2009, 09:20 AM

We visited several churches (and different denominations) to find one that fit the majority of the family needs. We wanted something with volunteer opportunities, felt warm and welcoming, and held the beliefs we do. It took about 6 months to find the right one.

**kaurand554** · 10-04-2009, 10:03 PM

I have been struggling with this; and I look forward to the replies; I think they will be very helpful to me.

THANK YOU FOR THIS POST!

I

**Moor** · 10-06-2009, 08:49 PM

For us, it was different. I was from one church background and dh was from another.
We talked and prayed and prayed some more. We have decided on a church that has what we want spiritually. We both want to be taught biblical truths. So we found one. That it was close to us, has many things for us to become involved in, that our children have things to do, was a great plus.
Our church is an Angel Food distribution site. So not only can we help in the church, we can also help the community.

**patra** · 10-07-2009, 12:53 PM

I chose the church I grew up in, I am fortunate to live in the house where I grew up, with my father, and he and I attend mass on sunday's with my daughter.It is a RC Church, and though in the past I have been conflicted about Catholocism I think I have finally had my conversion if you will,and will put down roots and "grow where I am sown". I want to raise my children here in the Church,and be a guide or role model for them.Of course intent is all well and good, I mean to follow through with action, and sometimes that is hard.I wish to start volunteering in my church now that my kids are getting toward school age( my daughter started kindergarten my son is almost three.)If I can't get to mass for whatever reasons, I watch Joel Osteen , and other Christian programs.I have been wanting to try other churches only to see what the differences are,but I think i am happy here in St Hugh.

Patty

**ncarr** · 10-07-2009, 02:58 PM

I was raised Episcopalian so when I moved to FLorida for college I attended the closest Episcopal church to my college since I had to walk. I got really lucky. I love my church. It feels like home, I like the traditional music and liturgy, the people are great. When my husband and I moved 20+ miles away we tried the neighborhood Episcopal church but I just didn't like it. So I drive to my church downtown 25 minutes away. I don't make it every Sunday because of the distance but I really do prefer it.

**IntlMom** · 10-07-2009, 04:25 PM

hi everyone....I;ve been absent so long (like since April.....)

we moved in May to a temp home and then bought our hosue in July. That's a story for another post...

We are currently struggling to find a church home, and for those of you who have been around, you will be able to guess that a church home is super important to me, (and to my whole family as well).

We have looked at the evangelical churches in the area (baptist, ev free, non-denominational...etc). We were at one for a month in our small town, but none of us really felt a connection. It was filled with people who loved the Lord, and the Word was being taught, but it is not a "vibrant" or "alive" church.

A few weeks ago, we began attending a great church. It is alive, the Word is being taught, and it is an exciting place to be. It's aobut a 15 min drive to the next town....... We;ve only been a few weeks, but it's been a small encouragement in a dark and lonely place for me.

Hubby and I both look for chuches that preach the Word of God, have something to offer for adults, families, and kids. After that, he looks for a friendly church, and I look for vibrant, unlifting, exciting worship...and alot of it. Worship is my passion, though not necessarily my gift.

on an aside, I'm glad to hear that you've gotten moved. I have alot of cathcing up to do when I have a momnet to spare\
Did you sell your house?
How's your dad?
I have thought of your often......

(don;t mean to hijack your thread, but I am seriously stuggling with depression, sadness, etc.....out here in CA.....that's why I have been so awol......)

**forHISglory** · 10-07-2009, 05:10 PM

Tracey, the Lord sold our home, and provided a very nice home in this new state.We are working on settling in. The Lord even provided a part time job for me that just fell into my lap. It's nice being near family, but oh, how we miss our friends and church family! I know that we should not expect to find a church exactly like the one we left, but we are not even finding anything half way similar. It's a large town, with many churches, but they are all very small, with mostly a handful of senior citizens, few children in church. Most churches open up for an hour Sunday morning and then are shut the rest of the week. The community seems ho-hum toward church. We visited one church that had a great worship time, but only one person spoke to us. (and it wasn't as if we were lost in the crowd!) Another church was friendly, but the teaching was dead. We still have some other churches to check out, and are praying that the Lord will lead us to the right one.

My parents are growing old as we speak, but have had no emergencies in the time that we have been here. We are trying to do for them as opportunity arises.

Good to hear from you; PM me if you wish.

**monkeywrangler71** · 10-07-2009, 05:57 PM

Maybe instead of looking for a church that offers what you need, you could try looking for a church that needs what you offer.

You can't change the worship style, or the beliefs, or the age and size of the congregation, but you are a vibrant, out going, energetic woman, and perhaps one of these quiet churches is just waiting for you to bring them back to life. Maybe welcoming new couples to the congregation or starting the mid-week activities are part of your calling.