How many of you are stay at home wives?

**Surilda** · 10-04-2009, 09:06 PM

Hi Ladies....
It seems that so many of you get SO MUCH done in your lives!!
I find it hard to get things done because of work and doing things
for/visiting my Mom on the weekends when I am off. Part of that,
I think, is because I work second shift. Late to bed and late to rise.

I was curious how many of you are stay at home wives? Do you think you could achieve at the same level you do now if you worked outside the home?

Looking forward to your responses!

**Luckybustert** · 10-04-2009, 09:21 PM

I am a WANNABE stay at home wife. I could get so much more accomplished (and would probably be a bazillion times happier) if I could get rid of the 9 to 5 job.

The thing that really gets me is back in the 70s the feminists were all pushing for women to have the option to work outside the home. Great, fine....except now for so many of us it's no longer an option. We either have to work outside the home to help put food on the table or the men in our lives wouldn't dream of letting us stay at home while they go out "to support us". All I've got to say to those feminists of the 70s is THANKS A LOT for the "choice".

**Missourimom** · 10-04-2009, 10:10 PM

I was a stay-at-home wife and mother for 10 years and just started working again in April. I can tell you that I don't get half of the things done that I used to.

**norcalmommy** · 10-04-2009, 10:20 PM

I am a stay at home mom. I don't know how I could get things done if I worked.

QM · 10-04-2009, 10:20 PM

I am a stay at home wife and mom. I am very sure that I wouldn't be able to get as much accomplished if I was in the workforce. It's hard multi-tasking between housework and taking care of the children, but I wouldn't trade if for the world. I also run a home childcare with a couple children which keeps me quite busy and provides a little extra money.

**HisDaisy** · 10-05-2009, 12:34 AM

I am a stay at home wife that works around 12 hours a week.
It just started work a couple of months ago and it helps financially. I don't get as much done as I would like.
I love that fact that my DH is open to me staying home. He actually prefers me at home.
He works at least 60 hours a week (if not 70 or 80). If I don't do the housework, then it does not get done.

**Palooka** · 10-05-2009, 01:04 AM

Originally Posted by Luckybustert

I am a WANNABE stay at home wife. I could get so much more accomplished (and would probably be a bazillion times happier) if I could get rid of the 9 to 5 job.

The thing that really gets me is back in the 70s the feminists were all pushing for women to have the option to work outside the home. Great, fine....except now for so many of us it's no longer an option. We either have to work outside the home to help put food on the table or the men in our lives wouldn't dream of letting us stay at home while they go out "to support us". All I've got to say to those feminists of the 70s is THANKS A LOT for the "choice".

Huh? The feminist movement was for equal rights(to be acknowledge) working outside the home or inside. It's a choice. We just wanted recognizition for what we did. Our financial situation and being married has nothing to do with it.

**Nana2two** · 10-05-2009, 01:21 AM

My place is in the home. No way i could get things done if i worked.I have thought of going to work, but hubby says noway. Its a dog eat dog world out there.

**Luckybustert** · 10-05-2009, 01:30 AM

Originally Posted by Palooka

Huh? The feminist movement was for equal rights(to be acknowledge) working outside the home or inside. It's a choice. We just wanted recognizition for what we did. Our financial situation and being married has nothing to do with it.

And as I recall, the Equal Rights Amendment was never passed. And many women today continue to do the same work for less pay than their male counterparts. I disagree with you that financial situation and marriage had nothing to do with it. It had EVERYTHING to do with it. The feminists of the 70s wanted out from what they perceived as the bondage and oppression of being a housewife. They wanted the money and power held by men who worked outside the home. They wanted to be EQUAL to men. Interesting idea in theory, but the truth is 30 years later most women who work outside the home now get to do double duty....not only must they work very hard for the paychecks, but they are all too often still responsible for the majority of the housework and other domestic chores as well. Yeah, we've come a long way baby alright! Having the equal right to work outside the home implies we also have the right to choose otherwise, and for so many of us that choice has been removed altogether. In my opinion, the feminists of the 70s did every bit as much harm as good for womankind (not to mention the negative impact on children and families).

**Palooka** · 10-05-2009, 01:49 AM

Originally Posted by Luckybustert

And as I recall, the Equal Rights Amendment was never passed. And many women today continue to do the same work for less pay than their male counterparts. I disagree with you that financial situation and marriage had nothing to do with it. It had EVERYTHING to do with it. The feminists of the 70s wanted out from what they perceived as the bondage and oppression of being a housewife. They wanted the money and power held by men who worked outside the home. They wanted to be EQUAL to men. Interesting idea in theory, but the truth is 30 years later most women who work outside the home now get to do double duty....not only must they work very hard for the paychecks, but they are all too often still responsible for the majority of the housework and other domestic chores as well. Yeah, we've come a long way baby alright! Having the equal right to work outside the home implies we also have the right to choose otherwise, and for so many of us that choice has been removed altogether. In my opinion, the feminists of the 70s did every bit as much harm as good for womankind (not to mention the negative impact on children and families).

They didn't want to be equal to men, they wanted acknowledgement for who they are and not to be oppressed from men and how society perceived them. That's not a bad thing. Women chose to work outside the home because of financial situations and because they feel like the have too because maybe society makes them feel a certain way. I don't get you're arguement. It seems like you are mad at your husband. Not all men think like this...or think it's the womens duty at all. Or I can tell you a heck of a lot of men that get screwed paying child support just because they are men!(another topic but an example)

I am a SAHM mom married to a liberal and I am liberal to the boot, but I sacrificed a ton to be at home with my kids. The 70's movement had nothing to do with it. It's what worked for us.(at this point)

No choice has been removed from you whatsover. You have many more choices now!

**Luckybustert** · 10-05-2009, 02:15 AM

LMAO.....no, I'm not mad at my husband at all and I'm not sure where you got that from what I said! I've been on both sides of the fence....I was a SAHM for a time, and now I have a career. One thing I would definitely do differently if I had a do-over is I wouldn't have worked outside the home until after my children were grown.

I lived through the 70s too and my experience and recollection of it is obviously much different than yours. Women are now EXPECTED to work outside the home, much like they used to be EXPECTED to be housewives. Completely opposite of how it was before the feminist movement. Those who get to be SAHMs are the exception...and the very lucky exception at that. It's NOT an option available to all women even if they *wanted* to make the sacrifices to which you refer.

**pollypurebred39** · 10-05-2009, 02:21 AM

I'm a stay at home wife and mother and frankly, I work my tail off. Staying at home and caring for the home and family, homeschooling, church duties, taking care of a sick Aunt, looking after my Mother. I can't imagine working outside the home too.

My husband never wanted me to work formally outside the home. He always felt that it was his job to provide and my job to nest. He would feel very neglected and put upon if I worked and he needed to split housework, schooling, childcare, ect.

I have a friend whose husband expects her to work and she feels very much like LB posted. I'm glad I have a husband who respects me but wants me home to take care of him and the kids. It would be impossible to do all I have to do and work an outside job.

I'm always blown away by men who do not want the responsiblity of caring for their families. My Grandfather worked 80+ hours a week to support his family, as did my husband's Grandfather. One of my Grandfather's had a full time farm and was a traveling herbal doctor. Times have changed, boy have they changed. Some men out there even expect the women in their lives to support them! Shame on them. Where's their pride?

**Palooka** · 10-05-2009, 02:54 AM

Originally Posted by Luckybustert

LMAO.....no, I'm not mad at my husband at all and I'm not sure where you got that from what I said! I've been on both sides of the fence....I was a SAHM for a time, and now I have a career. One thing I would definitely do differently if I had a do-over is I wouldn't have worked outside the home until after my children were grown.

I lived through the 70s too and my experience and recollection of it is obviously much different than yours. Women are now EXPECTED to work outside the home, much like they used to be EXPECTED to be housewives. Completely opposite of how it was before the feminist movement. Those who get to be SAHMs are the exception...and the very lucky exception at that. It's NOT an option available to all women even if they *wanted* to make the sacrifices to which you refer.

I got that from your first post. You want to quit your 9-5. Nobody expects me to work, just like they don't expect me to not work. But who are you referring to? You are letting society control your thoughts and actions.

Seriously times change and I sure as heck don't want to live back in the Leaver to Beaver Days(maybe you do)

Let me correct you! I sure as heck are not the exception. I faced this just tonight but I usually tell them where to go(and thanks for the female movement) It is an option(just going by that you are married)

What I don't get is that I am on you're side but you have some misguided info that the women in the 70's caused you to work. BS.

What I meant by sacrifice is like so much talk about on this board. Yes, I worked on and off too, but this is where I am and I am not going to blame the 70's. Heck that was a total time of revolultion. But somehow I get this feeling that I am talking to a wall so I will let it be.

If you want to be a SAHM then cut back and talk to your husband and maybe something can work instead of you blaming total nonsense.

**britbunny** · 10-05-2009, 04:55 AM

Hi,

Yes, I'm a stay at home wife, we have no children. I know I would drop half the stuff I do here if I worked, or at least it would take a long period of readjustment to get a good routine going.