Having a hard time.....

[emtmama04]

keeping with the frugal living lifestyle and it is bugging me. I really need to stick with it but for some reason i am having a hard time.

Anyone have any pointers on how to stick with it?

TIA

[Greebo]

What is it you're finding challenging?

[emtmama04]

not spending money when we really don't need something or making a special trip just to get something then not getting that thing and getting dozens more. not saving the money we do have and spending it.

Not sticking to the budget-like plan and totally blowing it.

[Greebo]

Hmm. Ok - I think I see what you mean.

Well - a couple things you could try:
1) Use the envelope system. When you write up your budget (a MONTHLY activity), you make an envelope for every category in your budget, and you put CASH in that envelope. SO you make a food budget - and from that point forward, you never buy food except with money from that envelope, and you never use that money for anything but food. If you spend food money on gas, or gas money on food, I will come to your house and smack you upside the head.

2) Make shopping lists before you leave. The list, once it leaves the house, is INVIOLATE. If you buy something that isn't on the list, I will come to your house and smack you upside the head.

3) Pay yourself first. You allocate a certain amount of money to savings EVERY Paycheck, and you put that money in savings FIRST, before paying a single bill. You then do not TOUCH that money. If you don't save, or you touch savings, I will come to your house and smack you upside the head.

4) Read your signature. You've got four kids. You have an example to set for them - you can show them how to be spoiled, waste money, create financial stress and be miserable, never be able to retire and spend the last years of your life struggling to afford food, or you can teach them by example to control their impulses, not be driven by whims, to plan, to save, and to be financially successful and retire in comfort.

And if you think about what is best for your children, then I don't need to come to your house to smack you upside the head, do I?

[emtmama04]

Thanks a bunch.
I now know what I need to do to stick with this. I just hope it works.
If filling my car lasts longer, would that be a good idea?
What would be a good amount to put into savings?

[Greebo]

Thanks a bunch.
I now know what I need to do to stick with this. I just hope it works.

Stop hoping. Whether or not it will work is entirely, 100% up to you and your spouse. Either you will MAKE it work, or you won't.

If filling my car lasts longer, would that be a good idea?

If you have the money in the gas envelope to fill the tank, sure. You know that there's no relationship between fuel efficiency and tank emptiness, right?

What would be a good amount to put into savings?

That depends - do you have any debt?

[monkeywrangler71]

One thing that I find really helps is to choose one frugal lifestyle change at a time, then force myself to do it until it becomes habit. As soon as it is an automatic behaviour, start another. This keeps you from getting overloaded all at once, and helps make the behaviour more permanent.

As far as spending too much on trips to the store, just don't go. No special trips to pick up anything, ever. If you are missing an ingredient for supper, you have something else. Add the missing ingredient to your list and buy it on your next scheduled trip. Running to the store is just another habit, once you break the habit, your automatic response to a missing ingredient will be to adapt the menu rather than to run to the store.

Menu plan, and shop with a list that includes nothing but necessary items and great deals on things you use regularly. Make a budget for groceries and when you go out, stick to the list and to the budget. If the list is bigger than the budget, change the list, if the budget is bigger than the list, save the extra.

Same is true for any other type of shopping you need to do, clothing, household, school supplies, etc. You pick a designated date to do it, and keep a list until that date. Again, just get in the habit of writing things down when you think of them, rather than immediately going out and getting them. Make do with what you have until your shopping date.

If something is a luxury, put it off for a specific length of time. Choose a standard time and apply it to all wants. I choose a month. If I really want something I make myself wait a month, odds are I've forgotten about it or no longer want it a month later. Sometimes I just put it off again when the month is over. The longer you put something off, the less you spend, because as soon as you get it you're just going to want something else.

I don't know how much you should save without knowing more about your financial situation. I like to keep our savings rate around 40%, but circumstances vary.

[Jamielane]

You know Greebo , I needed to hear all that today to. Thank You. I trust you can come to my house and smack me to if needed as well?

[Greebo]

You know Greebo , I needed to hear all that today to. Thank You. I trust you can come to my house and smack me to if needed as well?

I'm always willing to smack people upside the head.

[emtmama04]

Thanks all. I will start with a list to go grocery shopping and stopping as many special trips as I can (if there was a grocery store in my town they would be gone).
With the large family, we go thru 4 loaves of bread in 4.5 days or less. That is usually my special trip. I make that trip once or twice a week and usually for bread and milk.

greebo - no house payment and only lot rent for the house.
the gas last longer since I hardly go anywhere. I don't work; dh does.

[monkeywrangler71]

Bread and milk can both be frozen, try buying twice as much on your regular trip. You can learn to make bread if you want, then you never run out.

If you absolutely must take an unscheduled trip for milk, walk directly to the milk aisle, pick up the milk, and walk right back out stopping only to pay.

[Greebo]

greebo - no house payment and only lot rent for the house.
the gas last longer since I hardly go anywhere. I don't work; dh does.

The gas doesn't last longer, you just have more of it.

So you have no other debt? Credit cards? Cars? Anything like that?

If you are completely debt free, that's awesome. In that case, I would put as MUCH as you can away in a separate banking account until you have 3-6 months of expenses saved up.

[shoiji]

Have you made up a budget? I only ask since you want to know how much to put in savings.

I keep my monthly expenses and what I spend on a spreadsheet. It is a daily reminder of my goals. Every purchase I make goes on the spreadsheet.

What are your goals? You can make a list and keep it in your wallet. Everytime you open the wallet you will be reminded why you are on a budget.

I have x-amount of money each month to spend on "extras". Once that amount is spent for the month I wait until next month to buy whatever I think I need. It helps to control the amount I spend on extras and sometimes I completely forget about what I thought I needed.

Give yourself some time to get used to a different lifestyle. It may mean putting the reigns on spending but after awhile it really does become a way of life.

[xtena]

Not making special trips to buy bread and milk...buy an extra gallon of milk and store it in the freezer. Make your own bread (several loaves at once, and freeze the extra).

If you are a stay at home mother, it's easier to find the time. But even if you work outside the home, you can try and find time to make homemade bread. You can do it on your days off, or at night while watching TV (although bread needs 'time' most of it is unattended just waiting for the dough to rise).

If you don't have a machine or a big mixer you can knead it by hand...the old fashioned way makes GREAT (some would say, the very best) bread. Kneading bread is good exercise and a stress reliever...mad at someone at work? Imagine the dough is their head or neck and knead away.

There is a wonderful book called Artisan Bread in Minutes a day (or something like that). If you can't find it at your library, the basic method is available free, as an article on Mother Earth News website.

[No Lean Times]

Baby steps.

Pick ONE area that you want to focus on at a time. For example, toiletries or canned goods or dry goods. If you try and do it all at once, you'll be doomed to fail over and over. It is a staggering thing to try and do all in one shebang.

Being frugal is something you learn and as you learn, you will teach your kids. In fact, your kids might catch on faster and help you in your efforts. Instead of buying goodies near the checkout, opt to make a batch of cookies or brownies when you get home from shopping and make that a new frugal habit.

Even if your only pet is a single chihuahua, buy your dog kibble in a 50-pound bag and store small amounts of it in zipper bags or canisters. Dog food will then be one less thing on your grocery list for over a year. That's always my goal - to stock up on ONE thing so it won't be on my grocery list for 3 months or 6 months or a year. Over time, the amount you spend on groceries will shrink. As you master the grocery list, you'll be able to see everything in your house as something that can be reused to your frugal benefit.

Being Frugal 101
* Eat a bountiful meal at home before you go to the grocery store, every single time. Never, ever go grocery shopping when you are hungry and don't let the kids be hungry, either.

* Never, ever take your checkbook into the store with you. Leave it at home. You pay with cash always! When you have cash and only cash, you have to stick to your list and just your list.

* Take a sweet surprise for the kids in your purse. If they drool at the candies near the checkout, pull the surprise out of your purse such as a small bunch of grapes or packet of cherries that you have had in the freezer since the last time you shopped.

* Pick a single item you want to stock up on. Coffee or butter or pasta are all good choices. You can freeze butter or coffee and pasta is pretty goof proof, even for me.

* Make your iced tea at home. So easy to do and always gives the kids something when they just don't want water. Sweeten with Splenda or add a splash of lemon juice.