Starting fresh - long

**sahm2boys** · 10-06-2009, 12:06 PM

Hi

I just introduced myself ( i have been on here before but i wanted to start over with a clean slate)

this is where we are:

I am a stay at home mom, i have tried having employment but it seems the last three jobs that i had which were great jobs i lost due to time missed. Every time my kids go to child care they get sick..so then im home with them, by the time one of them are not sick the other one gets and then i get it...been the same way for years..of course this is not listed on my resume (should i take this out incase im googled?..lol) i am on my last month of unemployment unless a third extension is granted...i send my resume out all week long sine may and NO replies...unless they were scams.

my husband makes GOOD money but we are always broke...its spent before we get it...my husband is not a frugal person at all..and i have my moments as well.

i need help in all directions...budgeting. saving. groceries. utilties. motivation. entertainment. etc...

i have started clipping coupons again but i mainly buy generic everything, we are meat eaters, with almost every meal. ( i read one post where if there is a great deal on chicken you stock up and eat chicken that week..and that sounds ok to me but the men in my life would be sick of chicken by day 2.5...lol) i want to stock pile..i have a small start on canned veggies and shampoo and hand soap..i have a chest freezer buts its off 1. not enough food to put in it 2. seal needs replacing and so its running the electric up

my husband is an impluse buyer and i am not always included in these impulses until its done..=) me i stew and stew for a while and wait until i have the money but everyone once in in a while i stray and get something i shouldnt have...ie financed new furniture...and not with the best place but i got a good price and it will be paid in a year.

Sadly today my husband and his family have to make a differcult decision on his fathers life support. i dont know financially what will come of this. i feel so so bad for him and his family. its weighing so much on his shoulders right now.

Budget...i like to make a plan for the month or the next two months and i wright each week down and what needs to be paid...but it never works out for whatever reason...

electric.. i totally messed up my bill this summer..i got on the budget plan it was $200 a month instead of 350-400 but i wanted out for the fall when it was cheaper..doesnt work that way..i still pay those bigger months, but i pay them in my lower months..so im stuck paying $265 a month until march i think...by sept bill was 200 and so an additional 65.00 when towards the accumulated bill and dropped it some...i can take the balance make a deposit and stretched it for 6 months on top of what ever amount comes in...and it has to be paid in full on time every month..which it does now too...im just affraid of how high it will be this winter. I am turning the air off most days and nights and keeping lights off the best i can

Water for some reason its always 100+ for the two months..i dont feel like i run it that much but i do wash clothes daily and cant seem to ever keep up with it.

cable...i reduced the number of cable boxes. got free dvr for a year and something else reduced but there was no better plan at a reduced cost

cell phone..reduced plan, got internet off one line ( the pda phone was 30.00 a month, mine is 15.00) so that should be dropping fromm 205 to 120

car insurance will be due in oct and then no payments until jan
small motorcycle insurance payment due for 3 more months and then off 2

Groceries...i want to stock pile. im spending around 100-130.00 a week and would like to do better but if i spend less then 100 i dont have anything for everyone and it really doesnt last...i have one boy in diapers that might be ready for potty training. i do take a calculator now, my box of organized coupons, and a meal plan with a list sometimes.

i have no savings
i have credit cards i cant pay right now about $1600-1800 total
i have some medical bills im working on two
i am almost done paying on a 55 month bankruptcy (which was done for medical purposed, and other unforeseen damage not credit cards) they make you include everything though
one truck payment (2 years and 1 month left to pay)
husband is a heavy smoker im disparately trying to get him to quit..especially due to all the health issues in his family thats related to smoking...i have been trying for years its been a no win situation.
as of today im a little behind on a couple of bills i have it mapped out to catch up this month but as stated before it doesnt always go as planned.
i have one debt planned to be direct debited and paid in 2 months
i have one treat that i want which is to go to the craft show the first of nov with some spending money (i never have any when i go and im trying to warm up the home and i love the stuff there) i am decorating very cheaply..i got curtain panels on clearance for 4.00 i got some decorative items at the Dollar tree and my mom is getting us new bedding at Christmas. we have rented the same home for 4 years and i am just now starting to home it up some with pics on the wall and some flowers etc..

i have two boys b days right at Christmas..my Christmas plan is to start a layaway soon with no more then 500 for both kids and have it out in 6 weeks and beat the Christmas rush..nothing for us or anyone else except one small thing for mom everyone else is getting cookies that im making =) poor things (we usually spend 2500 total on Christmas)

we dont eat out too much any more but he does buy lunch out..no where to heat up a lunch and gets tired of the sandwiches quick..any tips on that?

can we make a good game plan? how can i map it out for more help

thanks for reading!

**AmyBoz** · 10-06-2009, 12:11 PM

Well, the good news is, you've really looked at your situation and seemed determined to make changes. I look forward to following your journey here at the village!

Quick note...if chicken is on big sale, buy as much as you can fit in your freezer. Then, you don't have to eat it all week, but you still don't have to pay full price when you want chicken!

**porembam** · 10-06-2009, 12:16 PM

With your fatherinlaw's failing health right now you need to be very supportive of your husband (now is not the time to worry about the cigs that must go)
I feel for you that your sons bdays are right by xmas - double whammy
You have definitely lined up your expenses and you must remember that it won't change overnight.
Step by step is the way to go
good luck

**Mojjo** · 10-06-2009, 12:35 PM

Have you listed out your monthly expenses yet? I find that always helps me in the beginning.

**sahm2boys** · 10-06-2009, 12:35 PM

Originally Posted by porembam

With your fatherinlaw's failing health right now you need to be very supportive of your husband (now is not the time to worry about the cigs that must go)
I feel for you that your sons bdays are right by xmas - double whammy
You have definitely lined up your expenses and you must remember that it won't change overnight.
Step by step is the way to go
good luck

yes once he was admitted i have stopped the "nagging" on cigs temporaily =) poor thing i havent heard from him all morning..no updates im worried about his health and what he is feeling right now..he has a big family 3 brothers and 2 sisters and there is some out of town family with them as well

and yes ouch on the bdays..something about that month april for us makes christmas babies..but they are the first 2 and last 2 =)

**sahm2boys** · 10-06-2009, 01:54 PM

Originally Posted by Mojjo

Have you listed out your monthly expenses yet? I find that always helps me in the beginning.

i have a list of bills that need paying but i havent listed it on here yet

**Trishagirl** · 10-06-2009, 02:18 PM

It looks like you've taken steps in the right direction, that's a good start. Now plan your attack for your situation keep looking ahead and be a good steward of what you have been given.

**lotsadebt** · 10-06-2009, 02:31 PM

Write down for awhile (weeks) where every cent is being spent. Then sit down and analyze where your money is going. You may be surprised how much you spend on something that you get very little gain from, or that you can do yourself.

**Debbie-cat** · 10-06-2009, 03:42 PM

Sounds like you are on the right path. You know what you want to do and you are starting to do them. As far as the Christmas gifts go for your sons, I would cut them way back. Spending $500 each on children that are so young seems a bit high for me. Children at that age are the cheapest to buy for because they haven't learned the concept that more expensive = better yet. They are just as happy with a $2.00 toy as with a $50 toy.

I think you have made some great decisions already and look forward to following your journey on FV! Good luck!

**sahm2boys** · 10-06-2009, 03:55 PM

Originally Posted by Debbie-cat

Sounds like you are on the right path. You know what you want to do and you are starting to do them. As far as the Christmas gifts go for your sons, I would cut them way back. Spending $500 each on children that are so young seems a bit high for me. Children at that age are the cheapest to buy for because they haven't learned the concept that more expensive = better yet. They are just as happy with a $2.00 toy as with a $50 toy.

I think you have made some great decisions already and look forward to following your journey on FV! Good luck!

thanks so much

one correction i meant 500 for both =) the reason i put that much is i have promised the oldest a laptop but im hoping to get a used one but just incase i cant i wanted to budget for it

**Sassyclass** · 10-06-2009, 04:07 PM

Hi and welcome. Like the other posters said, you are on the right track, staying on track is the trick. I also agree with the Christmas gifts, I think you could get by very nicely spending around $75 per child, especially if they are very young. That would free up $350 alone that could go a long way on paying a bill. I also wouldn't worry about decorating so much. I know you want it to be homey, but eating, heat, electric, meds, and paying bills should be a priority. As far as your husbands lunches, does he have a thermos? If so you can put any hot food in it and send dishes with him. He won't have to eat cold sandwiches and will save a ton of money doing this. Keep us updated on your progress and

Cat

**sahm2boys** · 10-06-2009, 04:08 PM

i found out that i need to make space for gas food and a hotel for when my FIL does pass...we will be going 5 hrs to nc..in our expedition..at least one nights stay if not 2..hopefully a weekend

and i will be organizing my inlaws bills and make a budget for them this week...they are living off of SS

**ladykemma2** · 10-06-2009, 06:08 PM

when i went through this i cut off the cable, used dial up, did the phantom load electricity reduction thing, put the A/C on 78 with fans, line dried clothes, washed in cold with 1/2 detergent, planned meals with intentional leftovers, ate very little meat, shopped with a calculator to keep a running total and a list, and told the pets not to get sick.

now my situation has much improved, the cat got sick and i turned the cable back on. but i still do everything else.

**Siebrie** · 10-07-2009, 07:17 AM

Is the picture below your name your eldest? He seems completely happy playing with celery, carrots and a pan. Does he really need a proper laptop or will a cardboard one do for now? Will he actually remember that you promised him a laptop?

**sahm2boys** · 10-07-2009, 04:33 PM

Originally Posted by Siebrie

Is the picture below your name your eldest? He seems completely happy playing with celery, carrots and a pan. Does he really need a proper laptop or will a cardboard one do for now? Will he actually remember that you promised him a laptop?

lol no thats my youngest
my oldest will NOT leave my computer alone...ive seen them pretty cheap now around 200-250 and i can also go to the bazaar bazaar here and look at deals

the kid has everything else so i dont really know what else to get him and this is what he is asking for