Feeling Lost :(

[Libby]

Ugh....Life is weird. I have always debated on taking that one day off or an afternoon off from work so I could just attack the house cleaning and do all the errands that you can't do on a week night or nor weekend.

Now that I have the time (since being laid off from work last Tuesday) I seem to be all out of sorts and lost basically. I honestly don't know how to cope and think I am slipping into a depression. I know things have to get done around the house, errands ran, chores done, bills paid but to be honest....I find myself sitting in front of the tv watching stuff I'd never watch.

The day I was laid off, I was sending out my resumes, surfing for jobs and just on the go go go and then Friday came. Time to visit with friends for a belated birthday lunch. An appointment with the temp agency and then my sister took me away for a mini-vacation for the weekend. That's all fine and dandy...I'm on the go and now that I'm able to sit and just do nothing....I feel like it's gotten worse. I can do many things to keep myself busy but I know when I get home...I'm still going to have the same prob. I am going to sit in front of the tv and just be a vegetable. I can not summon myself to be productive and its killing me!! I'm a go go go kinda gal, a lil bit each day and I totally feel like a bum who can't even earn her keep.

I just feel like I've fallen apart. I don't know what to do nor how to get myself outta this funk. Plus I am trying to keep things at the frugal level. (And before anyone asks, no I haven't let myself totally go...I still manage to eat (sometimes overeat on junk) and keep up the personal hygiene - don't think I can let myself go THAT much)

Now ... any ideas on how I get out of this? Can one of yas give me a swift kick in the butt to get me going again please?

[norcalmommy]

I hope you can snap out of that funk your in! Maybe if you made a list of things to accmplish the next day, it would give you a start. Also, try taking a walk in the morning before you get started for the day. Exercise can help with depression. Just getting out of the house and in the fresh air can help alot. I hope you find another job soon. Hugs to you!

[Thevail]

She's right about the exercise, it does help.

Now that you have time, you could always volunteer someplace local. A foodbank, the library, etc.

[melanies]

I'm big on making a list and committing to accomplishing a set number of things on it every day even if it is one small cleaning chore. You can maybe use other things that you enjoy doing as a reward for when you accomplish a *must*.

[Siebrie]

I can totally relate. As you say, the tv is the big problem/diverter. I went cold turkey and got rid of the tv, it helped me amazingly. Be prepared for some 'what on earth shall I do now' moments, but very soon those moments will fill up.

[Lora88]

Its hard when you first lose a job you kinda feel like the wholeworld is out being productive and your sitting home accomplishing nothing I know i have been where you are Since there is no ruch to get things done why do them You need to set a schedule for yourself with exercise included and follow it Making lists is always helpful try to stay in touch with people dont fall into a shell volunteering jis great it gives you a purpose go out go to the library and stay active do not veg in front of the tv you will only get sadder and come talk to us here we care

[tervsforme]

I agree with Lora88, when you are used to going to work every day and now find yourself at home, it is a big change. I have a girlfriend who is going through the exact same thing you are. Exercise, volunteering and list making are all very good ways to get up and get moving and feeling productive.

[grneyegrl]

here in nj we have a place gsp..it thru the unemployment office and run by fellow unemployed people..it meets once a week and it really helped me..

surf thenet for workand play games ect.. it will help..oh and job site have tips ec t

[TigerGirl1226]

I have minor depression episodes that will become more serious if I don't get up and do something. I have to make a list and get going. Even if you list for the day is spend the day at the library browsing. I know it will get better.

[Lora88]

here in nj we have a place gsp..it thru the unemployment office and run by fellow unemployed people..it meets once a week and it really helped me..

surf thenet for workand play games ect.. it will help..oh and job site have tips ec t

Im in Nj what is the name of this place i thought gsp stood for garden state parkway lol I am in Mercer county

[monkeywrangler71]

Libby dear, you've only been home for a week, give yourself a chance to adjust. You've been sitting around for what now, four days? That's not you turning into a lazy bum, that's you taking a vacation. I'm willing to bet that you really needed one.

Don't beat yourself up and get all worried about it. Give yourself permission to take a few days off, in fact take tomorrow off, too. Rest and don't feel guilty about it, then Monday morning, have a plan to get up and accomplish something specific.

Unless you have a history of depression and recognize the signs of an impending episode, please don't assume that a few days of laziness after a major life change is an indication that you are sinking.

[Libby]

Thanks for the hugs and suggestions, keep em coming.

mw - I feel like it is depression b/c I can't seem to function. I have lists of lists waiting for me to do one tiny thing so I can cross it off just for the satisfaction and I just don't care if I ever get to cross it off. The house is um...er, embarrassing for even me to be in it but again...don't care.

A vacation - my friend really pushed me to go with my sister for the mini getaway last weekend but I guess I wasn't ready and just went with it. I came home Sunday night and went back into this funk.

I am going away this weekend - Canadian Thanksgiving - to visit the bf and my friends out of town for their birthdays and its even a dinner party but I'm not excited. I mean I love seeing them and am ALWAYS excited no matter what BS life had thrown at me but the oomph is missing. Its never been missed in over 5 yrs of going to see my friends

The exercise thing - I have gone for walks around my neighbourhood to take in the fresh crisp fall air. Its beautiful out, I understand and appreciate it. My mood hasn't changed My sleep pattern is all mucked up as well, up all night, sleep during the day. This is why I am getting worried that I'm slipping into a depression. I have never been 'depressed' before but this is what I imagine it to feel like.

[monkeywrangler71]

When I was first home I stayed up all night watching tv and slept every day until suppertime. When I was working, I went a mile a minute all the time. Days off were spent frantically cleaning and accomplishing things.

When I stopped working I thought I would get so much done. I had ridiculous lists with even more ridiculous deadlines, and I did none of them. It wasn't depression, it was just adjusting from having constant external pressure to having none.

You're going to make yourself sick worrying that there's something wrong with you, worrying that you aren't doing enough, worrying that you don't feel happy enough. You're not in a good mood right now, accept that that's okay. You're allowed to be unhappy, you just lost your job. Your house is a mess today, that's okay too. Pit away your list, don't fret about what needs to be done today, you have today off.

Don't make yourself feel bad about feeling bad, you'll only end up feeling worse.

[shoiji]

It is not uncommon to start questioning yourself when you lose a job.

With work days pretty much the day is organized with what you need to do and when.

Try to schedule yourself now. As an example: 8-9 am exercise. 9-10am shower and eat breakfast. 10-12am check e-mails, job hunt, return calls, etc. 12-1pm eat lunch and plan for dinner. 1-2pm watch whatever you want on tv, 2-3pm check e-mails, and phone messages again. 4-5pm take me time and treat yourself well with a home manicure, facial, etc. (you want to look good at an interview). You get the idea. Having more structure will help you get things done. Also, the tv can be on when you are dusting, reorganizing closets, etc.

Also allow yourself sometime to decompress from the hectic work schedule and the anxiety of working and thinking I am going to be fired. That can take alot out a person!!

Volunteering will help you get out and possibly make a job connection. I also think future employers will take more notice on a resume to see someone is willing to volunteer.

Keep your chin up and remember it is just a matter of one step, one day at a time.

[ml2620]

Give yourself a week to mourn. Do all the lying around, ice cream eating, TV watching you want. But Monday, make a schedule and stick to it.

You're job is now running the household at peak efficiency and hunting for another job that pays. Just like a paying job, their are tasks, projects and deadlines - and regular self-evaluations.

As everyone said, it's all about structuring your time and keeping your life as structured as it was when you worked outside your home.