sent to me by dh - warning for offensive language!

**Dutchie** · 10-09-2009, 06:15 AM

This was circulated through his office

Be warned - this may offend

Dear employees,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.

Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor.

They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.!

Enjoy the Holidays!
Sincerely,
The Management

**Luckybustert** · 10-09-2009, 06:54 AM

Have seen this one before and it's STILL funny! Thanks for the laugh

**fernykins** · 10-09-2009, 01:02 PM

It funny but or so true
Fern

**Sassyclass** · 10-09-2009, 01:34 PM

Yup, this went around work this last spring and I made a copy of it. What is sad is it isn't a joke for some people, it's very true. I'm so glad I work for a very small family owned company.

Cat

**frugalfranny** · 10-09-2009, 01:38 PM

Yes, I have seen it before too........it is funny.

Too bad it is ALSO very true!!! And think it even has more truth NOW than when I originally saw it......ah yes, companies chasing that almighty buck!!