Are you kind to people?

**redmaples** · 10-20-2009, 09:34 AM

There are many people that we deal with in different capacities, especially in the service industries, who might appreciate a kind word or a little friendly conversation, some kind of encouragement.

My teen daughters have both worked in a local store. We've had many conversations about how the customers act. I've asked them if they thought that most people are decent or would they say that most people are rude. They both agreed that there are a lot of 'good' & friendly people, but the nasty ones sometimes overshadow that. In DH's work he has some very rude, stupid acting people to deal with & sometimes it brings him down.

Yesterday I heard sad news that one young man who we have dealt with regularly in a service capacity for the past 2 years, has taken his own life. I stopped to think of our interactions with him & realized I knew just a little about him & his life, but probably enough for the kind of relationship that we had. Even though we were friendly to him, asking 'how are you doing', today just doesn't cut through the 'stuff' people are doing with. However, we didn't add to his burdens either.

Have there been times when you were way down that a smile, a kind word or some other friendly gesture lifted your spirits? If we could only count the times a little act of kindness made a difference for us.

I realize that being down & suicidal are different. This has just got me thinking more about making a difference...even small ones.

**fernykins** · 10-20-2009, 10:05 AM

I'm kind and friendly to everyone I come across. My mother always said treat people how you would want to be treated. I try to help the onees who ask me for help. I'm dealing with a suicide of a young man I watched grow up and I throught had straighten his life up. Life is hard.
Fern

**Inkstain82** · 10-20-2009, 10:29 AM

Most people would probably insist that they are always nice. And most people are nice 99% of the time.

They just think that 1% is justified, not realizing the service people may get several a day at that rate.

**Lora88** · 10-20-2009, 10:45 AM

I really try to be as I was in the service industry for many years and it can be difficult to maintain a good attitude as people can be really ignorant. As I get older I find myself be kinder in all aspects of my life as I have come to really appreciate when others have been kind to me

**shoiji** · 10-20-2009, 11:49 AM

The older and more life experiences I have I try to be nicer. And it really can be difficult at times. Especially when you feel you are being taken advantage of.

There have been times when I was down and fortunately there were people who helped me through a difficult time. My cat also has a way of knowing if I am not feeling great. She will be more friendly or start running around crazy which always makes me laugh.

With the times being the way they are I think people are a little more self-obsorbed in whatever may be burdening them. It can become a difficult cycle to get out of. I also noticed this whenever a company I worked in was going through layoffs.

Your question reminds me of the commerical where you see people helping one and other and the chain effect it has.

**mauimagic** · 10-20-2009, 12:10 PM

Dealing with the public on a regular basis can be very challenging. Having had many jobs in the service industry, I learned that I couldn't let the negative energy of others rub off on me - but that can be very hard.

Having attitudes that are contagious can work both ways - the more positive I became, the more it affected others - and of course, when others were pleasant and kind to me - well, that made everything flow so much better.

Especially during these challenging economic times, I think we need to be more careful about how we interact with others - regardless of their attitude. I agree that we can make a difference - maybe small - but the cumulative affect will make a more significant difference.

Mahalo for starting this thread - a good place to start my day!!

**frugalfranny** · 10-20-2009, 12:56 PM

Originally Posted by redmaples

There are many people that we deal with in different capacities, especially in the service industries, who might appreciate a kind word or a little friendly conversation, some kind of encouragement.

I do pay special attention to the cashiers and waitresses and make sure I am friendly and 'cheerful'.........no matter what sort of day I have had....been there done that. And, ESPECIALLY this time of year......my heart goes out to them!

I am 'usually' kind to people........but what I won't put up with is laziness, arrogance, and condescending attitudes.........from anyone!

**cab54** · 10-20-2009, 01:09 PM

I'm always kind to people in service work. I've been there.

Even people who ARE rude, lazy, nasty....I am overly kind and syrupy back to them. Maybe they need it. Or--maybe the contrast will make them realize just how nasty they sound.

**Teresa T** · 10-20-2009, 07:04 PM

I try to be and I find the older I get the nicer I am. Maybe as I have learned to deal with a lot of what I have been through myself.

When I was in nursing school one of my instructors said this: never underestimate the effect you may have on others. If you smile at someone and let them go ahead of you in the grocery line because they have only a few items, that may be the only kind gesture that person got today. And maybe because of it they won't go home and yell at their kids.

As a RN, I have been treated very poorly by some family members. I try to remember the good ones but sometimes the bad ones over shadow.

I also find though that I'm getting mouthier at work and not taking what I once did.

**Minner77** · 10-20-2009, 07:05 PM

A saying I like: "Where there is not love, put love, and there you will find it."

I like to thank service people always, especially those who've been especially kind. Told one recently that her smile turned my bad day around, and she was incredulous -- couldn't believe that people paid that much attention to her. (I think it helped her day, too....)

**melanies** · 10-20-2009, 07:14 PM

Sometimes it's challenging, but I really do try to be genuinely nice to everyone, even if they are being rude to me. I can never know what that person is going through, and I hope that on days when I am struggling that people are equally as merciful with me!

**ravenmaniac** · 10-20-2009, 07:15 PM

I believe how you look at someone (body language) or act toward someone does affect them. I try my best to be kind to everyone.

The saying "Be Kind to Unkind People. They Are The Ones Who Need it Most" is true. But you never know who may need some kindness.

**zakity** · 10-21-2009, 02:25 AM

I try to be nice to everyone. I don't make it, but I try. As for servers and people who are waiting on me, I am always nice. I figure their day is crappy enough.

And, you know, I have seen some people treat them really horrid. Like since they have a service position that it is ok to treat them like crap. That is so totally not ok.

I totally make sure my guys all treat them well also. We tend to eat at all-you-can-eat places and we even thank the person who takes the plates away.

**WV_mom_of2** · 10-21-2009, 07:17 AM

I'm a nice person by nature and I really try to be nice to everyone. I work with the public and I find myself having to be extra nice to make up for my rude co-worker and boss. I'm the intervener(is there such a word LOL) when my co-worker gets into it with customers. I have to step in and smooth things over.

I live in a very small area and I love to walk down the street in town and smile and speak to everyone I meet. My dh is very shy by nature and it drives him nuts LOL.

**Monner 1** · 10-21-2009, 07:36 AM

I try to be nice to everybody. It just makes life easier on both sides of the fence. I talk to just about anybody and always tell them to have a nice day, etc. Why make life miserable and some people need the extra boost of niceness since they might not get it from anyone else.

Monner