I'm so frustrated.

**Kerjack** · 10-20-2009, 09:48 AM

Ok so everyone is telling this whole mess is my fault, and I'm just frustrated/hurt/fed up to the point where I'm crying.

But here's the story.

Ex has a cellphone in my name, been broken up for over 1.5 years. Won't put it in his name, cause it'll cost $1000 for him. I let him keep it cause it would cost me over $500 to cancel it and he won't help.

I have a bill that's due soon for his phone. I've been trying to get a hold of him for 5 days, haven't heard a thing from him. I told him on Friday I'd suspend his phone if he didn't get a hold of me. 20 mins later all I get is "hey". I ask him why he hasn't got a hold me, and that he has a bill to pay. I get nothing back. After about 2 hours of nothing I suspened the phone.

He calls me from his home phone not even 10 mins later yelling at me, saying I'm a pyshco bitch, and saying he'll be dropping the phone off cause it's in my name, basically screwing me over with it.

Well I find out last night that he in fact went and got a new cell phone. Which I figured he would do, but he hasn't dropped off the old phone yet. Well not even 10 mins later I found out he SMASHED the phone against a wall. My sister told me after that, that she seen him getting a cell phone at the mall, he told her it was for the plan that was in my name. But it's defiantly not, I called the company last night.

Basically he wasn't going to tell me he got a new phone and smashed the old one. He was just going to let me find out on my own. And he's leaving me with the bill he hasn't paid that $100 and his contract now. Which to cancel will cost $500. Or I can try and put the monthly rate down but I'll still have to pay it for about 2 years.

I don't need this right now. I just want to curl into a ball. And the worst part is, anyone I try to talk to that was friends with me and him while we were dating says that I'm a bitch for suspending his phone. Yet known of them know that I had gave him warning. He's just been telling them I went nuts one day and shut it off.

I don't like that people think I'm a psycho ex when I've done nothing wrong to this guy. The whole time he has been screwing me over, and I just tried to be nice so he wouldn't do this to me. Guess I learned a valuable lesson.

Sorry it's so long and rambly. I just had to get it out.

**madhen** · 10-20-2009, 09:54 AM

Cass, you might try calling the service provider and explaining (in less detail) the situation to them. Worst case, it sounds like you are going to be charged $100/month for 24 months, so I'd just cancel it and eat the $500. But they might be willing to work with you.

I'd chalk it up to a lesson learned with the ex. I don't think anyone actually believes it when one ex rants about the other, and those who know you will know that you aren't as irrational as he claims.

**Molemommy** · 10-20-2009, 10:01 AM

I agree call the compny and explain that and if they are anything like the company that i have they are very nice and willing to work with folks,, Do you have a cell phone on the same contract? If so they are more likely to caancel his part and leave yours intact. you might have to upgrade your services but will be cheaper then what you are paying.

**Greebo** · 10-20-2009, 10:02 AM

Concur.

Cancel the phone. They'll charge you the cancellation fee, but you don't have to pay it all at once. You may accumulate some late fees - **** em - $500 + a few $30 fees is better than $2,400, and you just pay it off as you can.

Chalk it up to stupid tax. You made a mistake - a good hearted one - but you got a phone for someone in your name and they took advantage of it. Plenty of responsibility to go around, no need to beat yourself up for it. You meant well.

Canceling his phone does not make you a bitch, either. It wasn't *HIS* phone, it was YOUR phone, and he wasn't paying for his use of it. Sucks to be him. Anyone says otherwise, just say, "Fine, you think I was wrong? You get a phone in your name and give it to me, let me use it and not pay you for it, then tell me how much of a bitch *I* was." and leave it at that.

Him smashing the phone is unimportant other than being a spiteful action. Let it wash off of you.

How you win:
- Cancel the phone, resolve the debt as quickly as you can, and never talk to this guy again.

How you lose:
- Let him get to you. Let HIS friends get to you.

They will figure out the truth about him soon enough.

Its a sucky situation, but you'll come out of it stronger and wiser.

**Lora88** · 10-20-2009, 10:51 AM

No sense in beating a dead horse If I had a nickel for every stupid thing people do for each other when there in love Id be so rich it wouldnt even be funny Just do as Greebo has adviced and chalk it up to another lesson learned As far as what the others think I will tell you what I tell my own children Never judge yourself by what anyone else thinks.

**NikoSan999** · 10-20-2009, 10:51 AM

Key words there...stay away from him now. Don't talk, listen or go near. Don't let him con you with nice words... "if his mouth is moving, he's lying."

**Libby** · 10-20-2009, 11:32 AM

It doesn't matter what others think. They are not your nor your ex therefore their opinion does not matter. If they're going to blindly pic sides and turn your breakup and misfortune into something similar to a popularity contest, do you really want them as 'friends'?

Pay the cancellation fee, plan that in your head. As Greebo suggested, call the cell phone company and explain what had happened and asked if there's any way they can help you with reducing the cancellation fees due to your circumstances. If not, suck it up and pay the $500 - totally worth it to get a jerk like that out of your life don't you think?

**NcsstyBrdsIngnty** · 10-20-2009, 11:34 AM

Just MHO - Actions speak. If he went and bought a new phone on a new contract - or even on a paygo type, he had the money to pay the bill you had in your name. Pointing that out to people that think it was unfair that you cancelled service may have them think differently when they realize he made the choice to not return your calls for 5 days even though he had the money to pay the bill. I know it doesn't seem fair to pay it - but if that is what you have to do to get rid of this person from your life, then I agree with the other posters - pay it (payment arrangements, maybe?) and consider it good riddance to bad rubbish.

Don't forget that it is your name on the dotted line and credit report, not other people and their opinions.

**shoiji** · 10-20-2009, 11:37 AM

I would probably eat the $500. Definately call the phone company and see if they can be of any help. As long as you are in good standing with the company something can probably be worked out.

This guy sounds more crazy. So I would document everything that is going on. No need to let him know. Keep a log of what the phone company tells you and a copy of the check you pay to close out this phone. This way if the guy continues to cause problems you have documentation. Definately stay away from him. He is not worth you time. Life lessons can really be difficult.

Personally, I think he would be a good candidate for Judge Judy. Apparently Judge Judy does not like or put up with free loading men who prey on women. Atleast that is what I notice.

You can carry your head high since you know the truth. Trust me the guy will mess up again with someone else and people will become wiser.

After you get everything taken care of, go do something special for yourself. You deserve it.

**KeithBC** · 10-20-2009, 11:55 AM

Originally Posted by Kerjack

anyone I try to talk to that was friends with me and him while we were dating says that I'm a bitch for suspending his phone.(

These are people who know that you were letting the guy use your phone, and that you cut him off because he didn't pay his bill, and they think that you are bad and he is okay? They think that you should have continued to pay your ex's phone bill for him?

Obviously these are not people you want to consider as friends, nor are they people whose opinion matters for anything. Write them off.

Do as Greebo suggests and chalk it up as a lesson learned.

**frugalfranny** · 10-20-2009, 11:58 AM

Originally Posted by Kerjack

I don't like that people think I'm a psycho ex when I've done nothing wrong to this guy. The whole time he has been screwing me over, and I just tried to be nice so he wouldn't do this to me. Guess I learned a valuable lesson. (

Agree with the others on cancelling the phone.......might have to eat some fees but that is better than letting this go on any longer.

You can't change/help what others think of you..........BUT......you can change YOUR REACTION to it. Your 'goodness or worth' should not be based on their opinions!

Sorry you are going through this.......hang in there.

**schellie69** · 10-20-2009, 12:39 PM

Sorry to hear you are going though all this, I would call the phone company sometimes if you have another phone on the same plan you can cancel one phone and keep the other without a shut off fee. I know this happened to us and we were able to shut off one phone and keep the other 2 maybe if you have to see if you can change plans will allow you to keep phone but at a lower plan cost not sure what company you have but they should be able to help you. but if you do shut the phone off $500 is cheaper the $2400 you would pay for the next 2 years, and how did he get another phone since you said it would cost him $1,000 to get one in his name I wonder about this I would make sure he didn't get another phone to replace the one he broke on your plan just a thought good luck and praying this works out for you and don't let the people who blame you for this get to you, they will see the truth soon enough just keep your head up and know that you were in the right. good luck

**geckoace** · 10-20-2009, 05:34 PM

HUGS
people who think something is wrong with you for not letting someone continue to take advantage of you are not your friends and are not worth another thought.

cancel the phone, pay it down as you can... you cant do more than that right?... we've all done stupid things in the name of kindness no need to dwell on it just learn from it

**2ndGenGranola** · 10-20-2009, 05:43 PM

Cancel the phone. Save your receipts/bills. Take him to small claims court.

**fairydana** · 10-20-2009, 06:26 PM

I would definatly pay the cancellation fee and chalk it up as a lesson learned.

As far as worrying about what other friends are thinking about you, dont. The only thing that matters is that he took advantage of your kindness and you have every right to do what you have to do. They would do the same thing if they were in your shoes.

You cant help people who wont help themselves.