OK, I had to call the school and be psycho-mom today...

**Daisygirl** · 10-23-2009, 02:33 PM

DD14 missed 3 weeks of school recently because of pneumonia that turned into a lung infection. She was at the doctor's office every 2 days to be checked on, I called the school every day to update them, and I picked up her assignments and returned her completed homework every day. I offered doctors letters but they told me I didn't need them.

A week after that I had to call the school because one teacher was penalizing her for quizzes she had missed during her illness, saying if she made perfect scores til the end of the term she could pull her 55% avg up to a 70%. I was polite and got that straightened out because my daughter was intimidated and just agreed with the teacher.

Imagine my surprise today when opening a letter for the district truancy officer, warning me I was in danger of losing my drivers license and being fined $1000 because of her repeated absences!!!!

I called to find out what was going on, and was unimpressed with the fact that they had filed this paperwork after telling me that I didn't need doctors letters, that in fact I did. The Vice principal casually told me, "Oh,don't worry about it - we send those letters to scare people."

To scare people???? I could understand this if I required scaring to send my child to school. I asked for a letter to be faxed to my office stating that they understood the circumstances surrounding her absence and had no intention of taking these legal actions against our family. Otherwise my child may be attending Catholic school as of next wweek. Meanwhile, my pediatrican faxed over a letter explaining DD14's illness.

I beleive they think I am crazy....maybe I am but holy cow!!!! ANNOYING!

I'm still waiting on that letter. I want that letter. I will GET MY LETTER!

Kinda ticked, can you tell?

**loveless82** · 10-23-2009, 02:46 PM

Hiya,

I feel your pain my son's school policy is if they missing 2 days they need a note from the Dr. and be fever free for 24hr. Plus if I don't call them before 9:30am everyday he out it report to the truancy officer. Then they call my house.

**Imarachne** · 10-23-2009, 02:48 PM

I've never understood why the wrong people get targeted with school rules. Did you read about that boy scout that was suspended for having a scouting knife and he was a good student!!

**WV_mom_of2** · 10-23-2009, 02:49 PM

This happened to me dd's first year of high school. Over the entire school year she missed I believe 17 days. She had really bad cramps each month and would have an upset stomach on the day she started her period. I did not make her go to school on those days as she has a 45 minute bus ride down a very narrow, one lane road. She also missed some days for bad allergies.

I got a letter that they had set up an appointment for me at 7:45 am to come in to the school and meet with the principal and truancy officer. I called them and told them NO way! I would have to leave home at 6:30 to get there by 7:45 with all the morning bus/work traffic. I was doing in home day care at the time and could NOT take 4 kids with me. And I told them I had sent in a note every single time she missed explaining why. She had made up all of her work and had a straight A average. I told them to pick on someone else and leave us alone LOL. They changed the way they work it after that. Now if you've turned in an excuse, made up all your work and are keeping your GPA high they don't send letters.

Good luck getting this resolved. From now on I would hand deliver an excuse from your dr. whether they said they needed it or not!

**Greebo** · 10-23-2009, 03:33 PM

I'd probably be pissed enough to have my attorney send them an intent to sue notice.

"Just to scare them".

**Libby** · 10-23-2009, 03:40 PM

OMG Karen! Sorry to hear that. If I were you, make notes or gather up the ones you've gotten of whom you spoke with and when regarding your daughters absenteeism and homework assignments etc and a statement from your dr that she was indeed ill and at their office every 2 days and send a copy of that package to the district school board - don't bother with the school. I'd also send a letter of complaint and state that you do not wish to deal with the school truancy person nor VP due to the fact that she was the one that mislead you in the first place that started this whole ordeal!

I can totally sympathize with you....be strong and kick butt!

**mauimagic** · 10-23-2009, 03:42 PM

Daisygirl - I'm so sorry you have to eal with this. You have every right to be thoroughly pissed off - how disappointing and irritating since you had addressed this issue every day. Same advice I give to all my parents, put everything in writing. Like the idea of sending an attorney's letter. Trust me, school personnel have plenty to do these days without wasting their time and energy in the wrong direction.

Our DOE personnel office is so bad that everything I send them must be sent certified return receipt because they invariably say they never received it - and the it usually reflects in my paycheck. Very irritating.

Take care and let us know what happens. Could this be considered a form of harrassment on their part?

**Nishu** · 10-23-2009, 03:50 PM

Grrr. Truancy laws. Reason number 14,0398 I avoid the system.

Sending letters just to scare people is stupid and unethical. Repeat offenders of any crime know a bluff when they see it. It's innocent folks who get caught in the bureaucracy who get scared by such things.

Stay on them for that letter!

**Sassyclass** · 10-23-2009, 05:10 PM

I'd be ticked and a bit nasty myself. You are being too nice IMO. My daughter missed several days when she was a senior because of illness. The school called her dad and threatened to put him in jail. She was also told she wouldn't graduate, that was the wrong thing to say to her, she's worse than me with her mouth when she's mad. First she told the principal yes she would graduate, she already had all of her credits and passed all of her tests. Then she told him never to threaten her dad again, if she didn't feel like going to school she didn't have to, she was 18. I'm keeping this clean, she didn't. A friend of ours who is a teacher there witnessed it and said she wasn't a bit polite. She graduated.

Cat

**craftypam** · 10-23-2009, 05:10 PM

Here we go again!! The people who do the right thing get penalized for people who do the wrong thing (like allowing their children to stay home from school). Unfortunately this goes on in every area of our life.

**fernykins** · 10-23-2009, 05:39 PM

My son had CPS knocking on the door because his son was not in school even thro I called then and told then he was in the hospital had to have his apendix out....... He was one sick boy. He was 5 days in the hospital and 2 weeks out of school.
I don't think the right hand knows what the left hand is doing...... Sad
Fern

**Daisygirl** · 10-23-2009, 06:07 PM

So I called the VP again at the end of the day to confirm she had received the letter from our pediatrician. She had and told me it was 19 pages long, with test results, appointment dates, etc and she had not needed anything quite that thorough. I said that I had not received a letter from her stating that they now understood DD had not actually been truant and that her absence was excused.

She replied that such a letter was not necessary, and that I was blowing things out of proportion. She wondered when DD would be back. I told her, on Monday. I added, "seeing that strep throat is highly contagious, I don't want her to infect the other students. I'm sure it won't be a problem for her to stay in the office for the day, so that her work and attendance can be supervised."

During the lengthy silence, I continued, "Now before I call my attorney to figure out how to deal with all these threats just to scare me, I'd really rather have the letter I requested."

VP stammered and told me she would have to have the principal get back to me and got off the phone as quickly as possible.

Wow, can I ever make friends! Don't mess with my babies!!!!!!!!

**Nishu** · 10-23-2009, 06:52 PM

Wow, way to go mama! I'm way impressed.

**ravenmaniac** · 10-23-2009, 08:01 PM

Keep copies of everything.

I went through this nearly every year because my son, like me, suffers from terrible migraines.

I used to have to threaten with legal action. I would get the "scare" letters too even tough I did what I was suppose too. And I work for the school system!

I didn't expect special treatment but I did what was right and still got "scare" letters while I watched kids miss 30 days of school and still move on to the next grade. How frustrating!!!!