Do you favor one child over another?

**TeganZ** · 11-25-2009, 10:45 AM

I'm the oldest of three, girl, boy, girl. My mom says I am her favorite but I think it has more to do with me being older and more mature than my other siblings (able to relate better)

**Jayceef** · 11-25-2009, 08:54 PM

Ok, I do not have children yet. Baby boy is on his way, due in March. I worry about having more than one, because I do not want to favor one over the other. I come from a family with five kids and there are favorites for sure. My mom worships my brothers. She also puts pictures up of the younger three (two boys, one girl) and not of my older sister and myself. She gives my younger sister $100 for her birthday and pays for everyone to go out to eat including her future inlaws. I had to bring all the food and drinks to my moms for my b-day and I only got $40 She does not bad mouth my brothers, but does regularly bad mouth myself and my other two sisters. My other two sisters and brothers are not expected to bring any kind of dish to get togethers, but I was told by my sister that she expects me to bring a side dish, appetizer and dessert. I don't know if it is because I am married? My mom will not help us girls with anything like normal parents would, but expects us to come rushing over to do whatever for her. Now it is weird, because baby boy is on the way and she is excited about it. She wants to babysit and be involved. It is just hard for me, because I do harbor bad feelings. She drives me NUTS!

Now my dad is kind of the same way he thinks men have an entitlement to things. He never once told me that if I am having problems with a guy to talk to him about it. All he has ever said is you need to treat your significant other well. He thinks women should work and do everything with the household and men should just go to the bar and party. Luckily my DH is not a bar hopper and is a wonderful person. I could not have gotten luckier. Dad also will not help out with anything, but wants us to do things for him.

So you can say it took me a long time to want babies and I hope to god I don't favor one over the other. If I do then it is not intentional, I hope.

**Backtoreality** · 11-25-2009, 11:58 PM

I have always wondered about this myself for years.

As the oldest of 5, growing up I knew that I was not the favorite of my mother. In no way were we treated equally or fairly. To this day my youngest brother and my only sister swear I was treated like a slave instead of a daughter.

As a mother of 4, my DH and I tryed very hard to treat them all fairly. The trick is to love them as individuals and treat them fairly. They all will say that so-in-so is the favorite, but when pressed why they think that way - it's funny because they know that they all got what they needed at the time they needed it. Does that make sense?