your idea of frugal vs cheap

**perSue** · 11-27-2009, 07:01 PM

i get a lot of people (including family/friends) who call me cheap.
sure, some don't know the difference between cheap & frugal... and that's fine. but it's those who say it in a way that makes me stop & think... am i really cheap?

I know many others have heard these things from various others.

What i'm asking for is what YOU think the differences are between cheap & frugal - in your experiences and opinions.

**Sundae** · 11-27-2009, 07:08 PM

Cheap in the sense you are talking I would say you are taking advantage of something or someone....going out to eat and not pay your share, people handing out freebies and you take to many.

Frugal is watching the way you handle your money..sales, second hand deals, eating in more then eating out, etc...

my 2 cents

)

**Lady_V** · 11-27-2009, 07:12 PM

Frugal - getting the most value for your money

Cheap - spending as little as possible, only to have to replace it later (and often)

**Dancing Lotus** · 11-27-2009, 07:13 PM

Frugal is when your clever with your money. Like buying things that serve more then one purpose. And knowing little things that just make sense. Like knowing that 1/3 cup of laundry soap will clean your clothes just as well as a cup will. And a lot more.

Cheap is when your penny wise and pound foolish.
Cheap is when you lessen the quality of your life because of a nickel.

**steelergal** · 11-27-2009, 09:27 PM

I also think that being frugal is being good with your money (knowing what product is worth the money and how cheap you can get it, 2nd hand shopping, couponing and etc.). I always figured cheap is when you try to get as much as possible without spending a cent (ie, I knew a lady that would not buy ketchup because she would stop at the local fast food resturaunt and grab a bunch of ketchup!). I think there is a huge difference and usually people that are not frugal are quick to judge someone as cheap (I get called that a lot from family members!).

**Contrary Housewife** · 11-27-2009, 09:28 PM

For me being frugal is about not being wasteful. Using up every last scrap of food, rather than throwing it out, for example.

Being cheap means sacrificing quality in order to save a buck.

**mombottoo** · 11-27-2009, 10:13 PM

Being frugal means you know the value of a dollar and know how to stretch it without being cheap.

Cheap is when you take extra condiment packets and more napkins than you need from fast food joints and you are with someone else at the fast food joint and they are paying for you to eat...cuz you're too cheap to spring for yourself.

**lottaLove** · 11-27-2009, 10:25 PM

cheap - your life is defined by how little money you spend, nothing matters as much as $$$

frugal - your life is defined by how creative you are with what you have, and an understanding that $$$ is not necessary to have a good quality of life.

I think frugality is a lifestyle, where cheapness is a less than desirable personality trait.

**monkeywrangler71** · 11-28-2009, 12:37 AM

Well, after cruising around frugal message boards for the past five years, I'd say that "frugal" is whatever the individual speaking is doing, "cheap" is anyone who is spending less, and "excessive" is anyone who is spending more.

Do whatever makes you happy.

**Charles C** · 12-12-2009, 04:34 PM

Being frugal is both a life style and an art, it has a lot to do with a persons circumstances, if you have a good paycheck, and you pass up the bell ringers, I would call you cheap, if you pass up the bell ringers because you need the money as much as the person that would be getting it, then I'd call you frugal. If you have a good income, and buy cheap Chinese made goods at Walmart, depriving Americans of Jobs, then I might call you cheap. I you buy Chinese goods at Walmart knowing that they are inferior but you have no choice becaus of your income, and when the zipper becomes inoperative, and you can put in a new one, then I would say you have learned a frugal lifestyle to fit your income. If you can afford to dine out, and leave anything but an acceptable tip, you are cheap. I could go on with more but I think frugal is an art and a learn lifestyle, that is defined a lot by your income circumstance, and what you want out of life. But taking advantage of your fellow human being when you already have more than enough, I'd call that ultimately cheap.

**Inkstain82** · 12-12-2009, 05:03 PM

Frugal to me is about spending less without giving up anything you actually enjoy or need.

Cheap is cutting things you really need or having nothing you enjoy.

**pollypurebred39** · 12-12-2009, 05:34 PM

I think when you take advantage of others you are cheap.

Here's some really cheap/some really dirty things I've seen people do.

1) When I worked as a manager for BK well over 20 years ago it was our policy to give any extras asked for in small cups. Every week this guy would come in and he would ask for a cup of pickles, a cup of tomatoes, a cup of lettuce, and a cup of onions. Mind you he'd only order a hamburger. While he was waiting for his order his girlfriend would go to the rest rooms and steal the toilet paper rolls and empty the paper towel dispenser and the tampon dispenser. She figured out how to do this buy putting a dime in the turn key 1/2 way and sticking her hand up inside of the machine. She then would proceed to empty our napkin dispensers, ketchup packet, sugar packet, sweetener packet, salt & pepper packet, creamer, lemon wedges and silverware bins. They had a real racket going. I would always step in and take the cashiers place when I saw him coming and tell him he could have extra pickles "ON" his burger because that's what it came with, but no cups of anything. I'd also send someone to the bathroom to watch her.

2) Seniors would come in for coffee, we had free refills and they would sit practically the entire day or evening. Having refill after refill. They would sit in the sunroom part where they thought we could not see them and eat their lunch they brought from home. You'd think this was an isolated incident but we had several groups of seniors that did it all the time. The best part they'd clean us out of sweetner, sugar and creamer sticking it in their coat pockets or handbags before they left. I never said anything, just made sure to remove the bins when they came in so they'd have to come up to the counter for creamer and such.

3) I have a cousin whom I refuse to go to the Chinese buffet with because she will not tip the waitress. Saying to me, "you know how I feel about tipping"!

4) I have an Aunt who will go out to eat but will only tip what she can afford. As far as I'm concerned if you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to eat out. People depend on tips because they are NOT making min wage. Their place of employment considers their pay from tips. I know, I was a bartender and my
husband runs pizza. Bad tips can = breaking even after the gas is run out of the car. Just like you worked for free!

5) Years ago a group of us had a friend who used to "forget" his wallet everytime we went out to eat or to the movies, leaving us to chip in the pay his way.

6) I knew a father who would take his kids to the fair but would not let them go on any rides or buy them any food , even though he'd buy something for himself and eat it in front of them. BAD DAD!

7) I know a family that feeds their children hot dogs and peanut butter and jelly for dinner and after the kids go to bed they make themselves things like steak and shrimp. BAD PARENTS!

8) I have a relative that will eat at soup kitchens every meal she can, get food from the pantry, get clothing for her and her son at the clothes bank. will beg for low income help from whoever will give it to her and she has more then enough to pay her own way. My Mom gets so mad, saying how when she takes her places she'll dress like a homeless person and beg for reduced rates.

9) I also have relatives who never bring so much as a chip to a family function, but when they leave they're filling up platters of food to take home.

**Charles C** · 12-12-2009, 06:40 PM

Originally Posted by pollypurebred39

I think when you take advantage of others you are cheap.

Here's some really cheap/some really dirty things I've seen people do.

1) When I worked as a manager for BK well over 20 years ago it was our policy to give any extras asked for in small cups. Every week this guy would come in and he would ask for a cup of pickles, a cup of tomatoes, a cup of lettuce, and a cup of onions. Mind you he'd only order a hamburger. While he was waiting for his order his girlfriend would go to the rest rooms and steal the toilet paper rolls and empty the paper towel dispenser and the tampon dispenser. She figured out how to do this buy putting a dime in the turn key 1/2 way and sticking her hand up inside of the machine. She then would proceed to empty our napkin dispensers, ketchup packet, sugar packet, sweetener packet, salt & pepper packet, creamer, lemon wedges and silverware bins. They had a real racket going. I would always step in and take the cashiers place when I saw him coming and tell him he could have extra pickles "ON" his burger because that's what it came with, but no cups of anything. I'd also send someone to the bathroom to watch her.

2) Seniors would come in for coffee, we had free refills and they would sit practically the entire day or evening. Having refill after refill. They would sit in the sunroom part where they thought we could not see them and eat their lunch they brought from home. You'd think this was an isolated incident but we had several groups of seniors that did it all the time. The best part they'd clean us out of sweetner, sugar and creamer sticking it in their coat pockets or handbags before they left. I never said anything, just made sure to remove the bins when they came in so they'd have to come up to the counter for creamer and such.

3) I have a cousin whom I refuse to go to the Chinese buffet with because she will not tip the waitress. Saying to me, "you know how I feel about tipping"!

4) I have an Aunt who will go out to eat but will only tip what she can afford. As far as I'm concerned if you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to eat out. People depend on tips because they are NOT making min wage. Their place of employment considers their pay from tips. I know, I was a bartender and my
husband runs pizza. Bad tips can = breaking even after the gas is run out of the car. Just like you worked for free!

5) Years ago a group of us had a friend who used to "forget" his wallet everytime we went out to eat or to the movies, leaving us to chip in the pay his way.

6) I knew a father who would take his kids to the fair but would not let them go on any rides or buy them any food , even though he'd buy something for himself and eat it in front of them. BAD DAD!

7) I know a family that feeds their children hot dogs and peanut butter and jelly for dinner and after the kids go to bed they make themselves things like steak and shrimp. BAD PARENTS!

8) I have a relative that will eat at soup kitchens every meal she can, get food from the pantry, get clothing for her and her son at the clothes bank. will beg for low income help from whoever will give it to her and she has more then enough to pay her own way. My Mom gets so mad, saying how when she takes her places she'll dress like a homeless person and beg for reduced rates.

9) I also have relatives who never bring so much as a chip to a family function, but when they leave they're filling up platters of food to take home.

polypurebread well in #1 these people are thieves, i'd have called the cops when i saw the woman go to the bathroom and come out, she wouldn't get away, as i would have mad a citizens arrest. #2 well you handled the seniors extrordinarly well in my mind(all this is just my opinion) , they were taking advantage, but age sometimes has it's privileges, but managers have their responsiblities also.
#3 you have your aunt pegged right on. to bad some one didn't tell out right, how creepy she was being. #4 yeah these people are often the rich, they think you owe them something for their company. just cheap jerks. #5 is a child abuser, too bad it will probably be passed down to some of his kids.(some will learn from it hopefully) he isn't cheap, he's criminal. #6 well they at least wait for the kids to go to bed, probably that's what the kids wanted, but still not the right thing to do, unless they would just leave the steaks and shrimp. as least they fed the kids and didn't eat in front of them, still thinking about #5. #7 there is somekind of mental illness discription for this, i think its from somekind of dprivation experience in the past, she's to be pitied, course that's what's she's looking for, don't know I'd call her cheap, mostly mental. #8 same here sounds like theres a common thread, i wouldn't call them cheap, unless they have plenty, but they've experience some kind of deprivation in the past. (just my opinions) they were interesting stories and the guy that loses his wallet, i used to know one of those people my self he was a millionaire, and was born into a wealthy family the pits. he was a customer at times and i would never give him a break, i worked for other members of his family, they were never like this

worst creap the guy at the fair thanks again for the stories.

**monkeywrangler71** · 12-12-2009, 07:18 PM

Guess I'm a cheap bad parent. I don't waste steak on kids that prefer peanut butter.

**pollypurebred39** · 12-12-2009, 07:35 PM

Oh My, Maybe I should have worded that differently. These parents DO NOT provide good nutrition for their children. Their chidren do without so they can have. By all means if your children have a preference to peanut butter over steak then give it to them. Since that's the case you wouldn't have to wait until your kids were fast asleep to bring out the steak.