Problems at work

**lisettelovebug** · 11-29-2009, 10:40 PM

I have been working at my current job since August. I do design work for gift cards and computer configurations. I work for a small business that deals with point of sale systems and other needs for small businesses.

I really enjoy the job and enjoy learning as much as possible. It really is perfect since it is in the field I will have a degree in this spring. My boss is very family oriented and works around my schooling.

Of course, there is a problem. One of the women there is not very nice. Actually, she is down right rude. She has only been there about a month longer than me and has no real power. She just tracks the work that needs billing and answers the phone. She never says please or thank you. And to me she is extremely rude. I am still in training (there is a lot to learn there - software and hardware) and most of the things I do during the day isn't billable - mostly overhead still. I also do a lot of advertising flyers and graphics for my boss.

She has taken things I have said and twisted them around to make them sound rude. Like, the one day I said that we don't get any customers in our store anymore (this is the truth, most of our customers are on the phone) and a few days later she says something to the fact that "oh i need to take care of the customers that we never get in our store", in a very rude manner. The other day, she asked me what I did during that day, and I told her it was on my calendar (this is where I keep track of everyone I talk to and all the work I do). Of course, this day, nothing was actually billable to a customer (50% of my job description isn't billable) and I hear her murmur about 5 minutes later... "surprise surprise she didn't do anything". I wanted to say "well at least I did more than you" but i refrained and went home since it was 5.

The next morning, my boss is standing there at my desk talking to me about some server class that she would like me to take, and this woman has the audacity to come over and interrupt us, so that she could bitch about me, with me sitting there!!!!! what???!!! rude. She bitched because I told her to look at my calendar.. My boss said to just keep doing it the way I was.

My boss does know what is going on now and told me to just hang in there and that I was more valuable. They are having family issues and have had to go out of town quite a bit for the last few months. I don't know why this women hates me so much, nor do I really care. But she is at work and she needs to be civil. I have tried to kill her with kindness but that doesn't seem to work.

Does anyone have any ideas on how I can keep my emotions from getting the best of me until things get better. Anybody else have this happen to them? I love the job, but she is making me dread going to work.

**PlainCash4** · 11-29-2009, 10:54 PM

Well, now that your boss has told you to keep doing what you're doing AND she knows whats going on, i would just ignore the mean woman as much as possible if you can.

Your boss knows you're doing a good job. And as far as the rude woman....people like that usually get themselves in trouble anyway. And she has only been there a month longer, thats not much at all. Who knows , one day YOU could become HER boss...LOL

Anyway, this is all easy for me to tell you since i am not there, but i hope it helps some. Good luck and hang in there

**lisettelovebug** · 11-29-2009, 11:00 PM

Thanks PlaneCrash4. The biggest problem is there really is no offices. It is one huge room. there is a desk, 2 sets of bookcases and the coffee area between us. Luckily I don't have to sit right next to her or see herm, but I am still probably 30-35 feet away from her, which doesn't help...

i will do my best to ignore her.. lol

**Luckybustert** · 11-29-2009, 11:05 PM

Hang in there and resist the temptation to sink to her level....your boss sees her exactly for who she is and what she's doing. The absolute best thing you can do right now is to treat everyone professionally. It'll just make your snotty little co-worker look that much worse!

**PlainCash4** · 11-30-2009, 01:27 AM

Your most welcome. And thats good you arent right next to her.....lol

**AnW819** · 11-30-2009, 01:32 AM

I would suggest keep on doing what you are doing!!! One question though, if you boss knows about this...why is he/she not doing anything about it? Maybe a chat with this person??

I know I have had problems like this at my old job before and it made me very uncomfortable and I just could not work right.

**MTS04** · 11-30-2009, 02:46 AM

Document, Document, Document.

Keep a running journal of your interactions and her rude or intimidating comments towards you. It will be your defense if things happen.

**mamamia** · 11-30-2009, 06:07 AM

I know from my own past, that this is so hard

BUT, hold your head up, and by all means do not sink to her level! You're there to do a job, you don't need to be friends. If nothing else she'll never be able to turn around and say "well she said this and that to me". She'll be left holding the bag, not you.

Kinda sounds like a jealousy issue to me, ya think?

And listen, if she doesn't get your "goat", she'll eventually back off! Hold your ground, but hold it with a mannerly fashion. Can't lose that way, kwim?

Theresa

**Lora88** · 11-30-2009, 06:59 AM

I have been thru this and it really bites so I feel for you. Dont get mad and dont give her the satisfaction of seeing you get upset that is what she wants I find the most effective way to deal with this is smiles and laughter even when your having a crap day act like your the happiest pwerson on earth It drives people like this crazy they cant figure out what your so happy about try it I promise you it will work

**vickilynn** · 11-30-2009, 07:09 AM

Imagine you have a great big delete key......when she starts to talk hit the delete key......

When she comes up to talk to you.....pick up your phone and make a call, says oops gotta go to the bathroom catch you later ok, ask would it be ok if we find a better time to talk I've kinda busy right now...... then hit the delete key..

you'll be there longer than she will...bless her heart!

**WV_mom_of2** · 11-30-2009, 08:03 AM

You could work at my job where there are two people like this and the boss doesn't give a crap! I have two fellow employees that sit in my office(one, a female, works in the office with me, one, a male, is supposed to do grounds/problems work) and talk about me, make comments about what I say and how I do things, etc. They giggle and make it look like they are joking but it gets on my nerves as does the constant vulgar talk. The woman is really rude to customers too. They also disappear for hours together into the woods, cuddle, etc. She is married to someone else too. Our customers have a field day with them constantly complaining to me and making nasty comments about them.

It makes my work time miserable. And when I complain to the boss he tells me that she does a good job cleaning the bathrooms and he doesn't give a crap what the customers think or say about her. Yep, that's what he told me and the other employee when we complained.

I do my job and try to ignore them the best that I can. I know that I do my job well and that the other employees and the customers appreciate me and admire me. I just try to take the high road and let their crap go.

Just do your job to the best of your ability and kill her with kindness LOL!

HUGS!!!

**2ndGenGranola** · 11-30-2009, 08:14 AM

The others have made some great suggestions. The two I want to repeat are...
1. Document -- I would have some method (paper/electronic...)of documenting things word for word. Even when it is someone you don't deal with like that on a regular basis.

2. When she starts in do something else -- go to the bathroom, pick up the phone, do whatever to cut her off when she starts her negativity. Many will soon learn not to start that with you. I started doing that not to long ago with someone who would call me to bellyache. I don't hear it too often anymore and when I do "gotta go, the kids need me".

**tervsforme** · 11-30-2009, 08:31 AM

There is lots of great advice here. I would just also say, don't give her the satisfaction. Don't start a conversation with her, just go about your job. Yes it will be difficult, but it sounds like your boss knows what is going on, so it will all wash out in the end.

**Russ** · 11-30-2009, 09:52 AM

Originally Posted by lisettelovebug

My boss does know what is going on now and told me to just hang in there and that I was more valuable. They are having family issues and have had to go out of town quite a bit for the last few months. I don't know why this women hates me so much, nor do I really care. But she is at work and she needs to be civil. I have tried to kill her with kindness but that doesn't seem to work.

^^^ This says it all. It tells you why she doesn't like you... She's threatened by someone who is a better worker and a better person in general.

And the part below is what you should focus on... The one person that you make happy in your job, is your boss. And you are doing that and he notices! Keep up the good work!

Originally Posted by lisettelovebug

My boss does know what is going on now and told me to just hang in there and that I was more valuable.

**lisettelovebug** · 11-30-2009, 09:57 AM

Originally Posted by vickilynn

Imagine you have a great big delete key......when she starts to talk hit the delete key......

When she comes up to talk to you.....pick up your phone and make a call, says oops gotta go to the bathroom catch you later ok, ask would it be ok if we find a better time to talk I've kinda busy right now...... then hit the delete key..

you'll be there longer than she will...bless her heart!

The only problem with imagining a great big delete key is that i might actually hit the one on the computer... lol.

Luckily I don't have to worry about her trying to talk to me. so that is a blessing. It's just the snide remarks at her desk or to other people.