Holiday Whine 2009

**Daisygirl** · 12-20-2009, 06:00 PM

Ha - that rhymes.

Well, my holidays were going fairly well until today.

Today was the family Christmas for my X's family. He was supposed to pick up our girls right after church to go t the family 'do. At 12 he called saying it would be 1 before he could get here. At 1 he backed it up til two. The girls had the cookies they baked all bagged up and a big box a presents they lovingly selected or made by the door. At 2 Dad just called and cancelled on them. He is fighting with his GF. She dumped him last night and moved out with all their stuff while he was at work.

Did I mention that now my kids are hysterical? And do you think he gave them any explanation? Nope, just sent DD14 a text. A frickin' text.

Forget that I was going to a friends and we were going to get all our wrapping done. Does he ever think of anyone but himself? DD9 is bawling her eyes out, kicked her sister and won't come out of her room. I offered to drive the kids the 2 hours each way so they could spend the day with the grandparents but they are too upset to go.

I am really not a happy camper. This day is decidedly rotten. Why does my exhusband for EIGHT YEARS still get to affect my holiday season????? My poor kids need a dad that is a grown up! I am sure it sucks to get dumped 5 days before Christmas but your kids feelings come before your own!

GRRRRR..... thanks for letting me rant!

**Maine Girl** · 12-20-2009, 06:05 PM

Oh i am so sorry!!! That is not fair to you, your kids or his family. Maybe you could do something special with the girls tonight like watch a movie with cocoa. Then in the morning i would have no problem telling him how he hurt his kids. When you are a parent it is not about you anymore. I feel he should of just sucked it up for his kids so they could have christmas with their grandparents and family.

**mauimagic** · 12-20-2009, 06:11 PM

Oh Karen, How miserable for all of you. Am so sorry that you all have to go through this. While there is really nothing you can do to make up for his actions, just being there for your daughters will be the best thing in the world for them.

What do the grandparents say? Is his behavior okay with them?

Hugs and aloha to all of you.

**Luckybustert** · 12-20-2009, 06:12 PM

I'm sure the grandparents are also going to be disappointed not to see their granddaughters. The ex sounds very selfish.

**hotprincesscm** · 12-20-2009, 06:16 PM

I'm so sorry for you and your girls! Unfortunately alot of men are like this, including my ex(my boys father). All you can do is try and protect them as much as you can, and make up for the other parent's lackings with your own love! They will see that you did everything for them and cared for them! Their father is the one missing out on the wonderful girls you have there! Eventually if this happens enough the girls will learn to ignore the actions of the "bad parent" and thrive in the good parent's good doings! Hugs and prayers to you and your girls!

**suebeehoney** · 12-20-2009, 06:27 PM

Daisy -

I'm so sorry this happened to you and the kids. That is definitely a rotten thing to do to the kids. If it's any consolation, this will pass eventually and hopefully he will grow up and start treating his kids the way they should be treated - and stop thinking about himself. Fair warning, though..it may take a few years.

My ex did this to our kids more times than I can count, especially right after we split up and he was busy with the woman he left me for (and eventually married). He would say he was coming at 5..then at 6, when he wasn't there yet, I would call, and he'd say, "oh, I'll be there soon, we're eating dinner". Then when he still wasn't there at 7:30, I'd call again - oh, they were busy, be there in a bit. Finally showed up at 10:00, when the kids were exhausted, cranky and much less than pleasant to deal with. And so was I. And there were many times he totally forgot to pick them up. Or to go to their school functions. All because he was dating someone and couldn't be bothered to remember he had kids.

It DOES get better...eventually. I know that doesn't make it any easier to deal with right now, but it will eventually pass and he will return to being a decent father to the kids...he just has to get his head out of his a**. (Sorry.)

**Jayceef** · 12-20-2009, 06:28 PM

So sorry this happened to you and your girls. Sounds like something my dad would have done. I hope you can let him know how much he hurt his daughters. Take care and hope they you three are doing ok.

**Daisygirl** · 12-20-2009, 06:32 PM

Thank you all. I didn't think I was really blowing things out of proportion. I let DD14 hang out with a friend for a while and took DD9 to one of my friends house - they have a baby and a cool dog, so that helped some. I made some of their faves for dinner and we are about to watch Shrek the III together.

My X had been doing fairly well as a father lately. A lot of it was because of the GF being a really good influence. Some of you may remember the horrible custody battle of 3 years ago. Now it looks like he is already going to backslide into being a loser dad again. He sent me a message saying that the plans for Christmas day are off too. He'll just "drop by and see them for a few minutes." According to him, GF took all the furniture in a "midnight move" while he was at work so he has not place to take the kids to.

What a complete crock of crap. I haven't told the kids about Christmas day yet. I just can't. Maybe I should just suck it up and invite him to come here and have Christmas dinner with us. Maybe pigs will fly and I won't tell him he is a moron, too.

**Debbie-cat** · 12-20-2009, 06:54 PM

I am so sorry Daisy. I am glad that you did things with them. I don't understand how Fathers or some Mothers can do this to their children. Eventually they will see how he treats them and they will not care anymore when he disappoints them. I know as it happened to my son. Now my son doesn't even care if sees or hears from him. It is sad but his Father is going to pay for it in the end when he is old and alone. ((hugs))

**madhen** · 12-20-2009, 07:05 PM

Love your last post, Daisy. Sounds like it is a good thing he is an EX.

**NikoSan999** · 12-20-2009, 07:19 PM

Hey Karen...(pssst) I have a ball bat I'll loan ya

**Daisygirl** · 12-20-2009, 07:52 PM

Well, family movie night has all gone to H*** on a greasy slide. Grrrrrr....... What a wretched miserable awful day.

I went to a cookie exchange today and came home with 17 dozen cookies. That is 204 cookies. When I suggested we put together our goodie bags for friends and family, DD14 came unglued and said I told her all the cookies were for her. Excuse me?????? I recall the conversation where she may have misunderstood me but to rationally think I would let her have 204 cookies????

Well, things escalated, there was yelling, there was grounding and there was storming off to one's room. Then there was me following to one's room. At 40 why haven't I learned when someone walks away because their ticked to just let them go?????Will I EVER learn that?

Now DD14 is not speaking to me, DD9 is hitting redial on the phone over and over to reach her dad, and Shrek is annoying the daylights out of me in the background. "NO ONE IS LISTENING TO YOU SHREK!!! SHUT UPPPPPPP!!!" Oh - guess DD9 is listening to Shrek while trying to reach her dad.

Ah the lunacy of the holidays at my house. It's like a freakin asylum. When will it be over!?!?