Grasshopper and the ant in real life

**ladytoysdream** · 12-25-2009, 08:13 PM

I probably should not be venting, but this is one of those things that just plain bugs me, and the hubby.

One of our relatives, who also happens to live near us is up there in age ( retired ). They have 3 sons and 1 daughter. The parents are poor. They heat with wood. We help them with a few groceries when we can, and 1-2 dozen eggs a week. Hubby tries to help them out with wood when he can. He usually can get them a few good size loads in the summer for no cost. They just have to cut it up smaller to fit their furnace. The daughter, her husband, and their daughter are living with them currently. They help out.

But the 3 sons don't. It's another story though when they need help. Today when we went down the road, there was the oldest son, and his other half, loading up a pickup load of wood to take up to their house. They burn wood also. Instead of getting their wood cut this summer, they only cut a little. So he takes from Dad whenever he needs some. Does not pay Dad, and to add insult to injury, they were using Dad's truck to move it. Even though he owns a pickup himself. I just don't get how some people can rationalize things to themselves. I know for a fact that this happened last year too. Not much I can do about it though. I sure don't want to piss the cousin off and have him eyeball our pile of wood. I would have him arrested if he ever tried such a stunt.

**NikoSan999** · 12-25-2009, 08:39 PM

It would piss me off that the wood he was taking was the wood that hubby gave the father. Nah, the whole thing would burn my cookies.

Could you talk to the daughter? Probably wouldn't do any good. You're right, there's probably nothing you can do and you can't shoot them. Ahh..one can only dream

**ladytoysdream** · 12-25-2009, 08:54 PM

The wood that was given to him, is because of hubby's job. They need a place to dump the big stuff when cutting brush. Little stuff goes through the shredder on the one truck. It depends on where they are working. They need to dump close and handy. And it could be only one or two loads all summer, he just never knows when.
We did give them about 1/2 a face cord of our wood when we borrowed his bucket tractor this summer, because he would not take any money from us. But we know that load went down into the celler. It was dried out and ready to use.

I'm just frustrated with how some people use other people and think nothing of it.

**NikoSan999** · 12-25-2009, 09:00 PM

Especially when it's the parents being used.

You and hubby are kind people. You did a good thing regardless and that's what the parents will remember. You lent a helping hand to someone that needed it. That's what family is. Idiots will always be idiots. Believe me, I have a few.

**ladytoysdream** · 12-25-2009, 09:12 PM

We try hard to help others out. We always have. But there are some people we have to put on ignore. Like this cousin.

My husband's other uncle always got his driveway plowed out by hubby. This winter hubby had to say no, and tell his cousin, the son, to hire it done for his Dad, by the season rate. Hubby just could not get there when he needed him too. The uncle get's meals on wheels, and needed driveway opened up before noon. Hubby just could not because of his regular job. Hubby had been doing it for them as a favor, with only once in awhile getting a little gas money for his troubles. He would never ask either. About a mile down the road from us, they live. I really worried about the hubby going down the road in a snowstorm on his little tractor.

**mauimagic** · 12-25-2009, 10:08 PM

ladytoysdream - you do what you can and then when you no longer can, you stop. Your and your husband are such good caring and doing people - it hurts to see the other extreme - those who just take. We can never change others - we are responsible for ourselves - and you should be proud of the people you care - I know that we are all proud of you!! Hugs and aloha!!

**frugalwarrior2** · 12-25-2009, 11:10 PM

I agree w/ MM. There are takers and there are givers. It is very rare that one turns into another in RL. That is for Disney after school specials. I can't think of anything you could do or say that wouldn't start a family fight. Just know your a good person and so is DH.