getting ready to say goodbye

**sommersa** · 01-05-2010, 10:19 PM

to my dog. Ive come to the decision that is the right thing to do. I leave her on the weekends in a rm or kenneled up and its not fair anymore. I go to my bfs on the weekends, and nights during the week, and would like to start spending more time and eventually move in a yr or two. the dog is not allowed to come w. I understand , he is not a dog person, and I choose a possiable future husband over a dog.I have found a good home, someone who has a nother dog, so she will have someone to play w, and has agreed that if it doesnt work I will take her back and continue to look for the right home, but I doubt there will be problems. I know its right , but its still hard.

**Debbie-cat** · 01-05-2010, 10:21 PM

(((((hugs))))))

**Josephhgoins** · 01-05-2010, 10:23 PM

you know, if a man says that its either him or the dog, you should always choose the dog. He will use the same mentality for future disagreements.

**frugalwarrior2** · 01-05-2010, 10:54 PM

Is this a person who considers your feelings?

**MomToTwoBoys** · 01-05-2010, 10:57 PM

Originally Posted by Josephhgoins

you know, if a man says that its either him or the dog, you should always choose the dog. He will use the same mentality for future disagreements.

I completely agree.

If any man told me I had to choose him over something else I love, I'd pick the other thing. There are plenty other men in the world that are available who won't use the same mind tactics with me.

**MyMelody** · 01-05-2010, 11:22 PM

While I am glad you're thinking about your dog's care, I also want to point out that the words "possible" and "future" do not equal "definite" husband. This doesn't sound like much of a compromise/fair deal to me.

**mombottoo** · 01-06-2010, 08:42 AM

Originally Posted by Josephhgoins

you know, if a man says that its either him or the dog, you should always choose the dog. He will use the same mentality for future disagreements.

You know I was going to say the same thing, not quite the same way but it was the same.

"He is not a dog person" is what you said; what else isn't he that you are? Personally, if I were single I would never choose a man over my dog and if you were my daughter I would sit you down to a pow wow and have an indepth talk about your decision.

I can give you a comparison story. My dd was single and had a cat and a dog. Her current hubby is allergic to cats; they have been together now for going on 6 years and that cat along with 5 others is still around...and her hubby gave her 3 of the additional 5 cats.

I understand your concern about leaving your dog alone so much, and maybe this guy is really great. But, if "he" is the reason you are going to give your dog away, you may want to rethink your decision. JMHO

**NikoSan999** · 01-06-2010, 08:55 AM

Originally Posted by Josephhgoins

you know, if a man says that its either him or the dog, you should always choose the dog. He will use the same mentality for future disagreements.

And this is coming from A man.

I agree with the others. He is not a definite...he's a possible. It sounds like you're also the one to do all the visiting so to speak.
Nope, I'd keep the dog on this one. He can go visit you half the time and the dog won't have to be "put up". He can get used to the dog or stay home. Alone. Bet he wouldn't be alone long. Sorry, my opinion after 56 years.

**savvy_sniper** · 01-06-2010, 09:13 AM

I congratulate you on trying to find a good home for your pet. If someone made me choose between them and my pet, I would take a SERIOUS look at my relationship (and would choose my pet)!

**Russ** · 01-06-2010, 09:17 AM

Ok, well I'm gonna go against the grain here. The way I see it, she was given a choice and she made it. Nobody MADE her choose him over the dog.

She could have easily spoke up and said "me and the dog are a package deal."

**shoiji** · 01-06-2010, 09:25 AM

I remember dating someone who was not a cat person. The cat was my neighbors that would come to visit. When I saw how this person behaved towards a cat that was just curled up on my sofa trying to sleep told me alot about this person. Needless to say, no longer dating this person!!!

**Lora88** · 01-06-2010, 10:14 AM

I have known a few people who have given up their animal for a significant other, All of them were sorry after. I myself would not give up my dogs for any man.

**Greebo** · 01-06-2010, 10:23 AM

Ceashels is a cat person.

I'm not a cat person. Ok - I AM a cat person - I love cats - but I can't be one anymore because I am allergic and they drive my sinuses into critical overload.

But we have 2 cats and I'd never dream of suggesting we get rid of either. We just won't be getting anymore.

Probably.

But I'd never ask someone to get rid of a loved one to be with me.

**jamie79** · 01-06-2010, 10:30 AM

When I was single, if I was dating someone, you took me as I am, my cats , my cellulite and my pms. Know what I mean?

**madhen** · 01-06-2010, 10:41 AM

I also have some issues with this, but I think I understand where you are coming from, if I view it from the other side of the glass.

I think if I loved someone, but was really uncomfortable around their pet, and that person found their pet a new home just to make me less uncomfortable, that would be a pretty big sacrifice on their part, and I would be very appreciative. I hope he feels the same way.

If he gave you an ultimatum, however, I'd dump him in a New York minute.

And good for you for making sure your dog is going to a good home.