Funeral Fund

[sinopa27]

Funeral Fund--Doesn't that sound bad?? Anyway, I have had 2 deaths in my family within 2 weeks of each other. I ended up spending money on unexpected things. I was shocked to find out that $100 can leave your wallet real fast.

Will it be wrong to start a Funeral Fund? Or tell me where do you put this type of unexpected cost in your budget.

[mopples]

Personally, I think its a very smart thing to do, regardless of age. Hubby and I both have income protection insurance and included in that is a provision that covers funeral costs should one of us die.

[ladykemma2]

how about a small emergency fund?

[sinopa27]

I am referring to the costs when there is death of a friend or family and you have the added costs like sympathy cards, buying food/drinks for the family, possible day or 2 off from work, clothing/shoes, and the changes that are involved. For instance, I had to buy my sister panty hose. I bought food for the family and the church.

[sinopa27]

how about a small emergency fund?

I guess that would be ok for this. Thanks!

[Grainlady]

1. It's always good to have at least 2 outfits in your wardrobe that are appropriate for wearing to funerals. What we used to call "Sunday Best". Dressy, but not formal, in a classic style so you can use it for years. The hat, veil, and little black dress shown on TV and in movies are not based on reality - at least in mid-west reality. I was a cemetery sexton for 20-years, present at the burials at the cemetery, and I've seen about everything, but a swimsuit, worn to funerals. Not to mention all the funerals I've attended over the years.

Have one outfit for warm weather, and the other for cold weather, so you can cover all the seasons. You probably have these items already in your closet. A nice all-season dress coat would also be a good choice. Leather bomber jackets and hoodies at funerals look out-of-place.

It is no longer critical to wear black to a funeral. A classic-cut black/navy (or other subdued color) skirt or slacks, and a nice jacket/blazer/sweater will usually do the trick. I certainly wouldn't buy a new outfit and shoes for every funeral. I've never bought a new outfit for ANY funeral - even my parents. Check thrift stores. You can usually find good quality clothing donated by professional business-women that work great for funeral wear.

2. I keep a stockpile of blank note cards with a simple design/color on the front. I purchased the last packet of 20 for $1.99 at K-Mart, and have gotten 12/$1 at the Dollar Tree.

These cards can be used for anyone and any occasion, and you personalize them to the occasion by your personal message inside. It's unnecessary to spend $5 on a sympathy card. Your personalized message in a simple blank card will be more appreciated than a sympathy card that you've signed your name to. These same cards work for birthdays, thank yous, invitations, and nearly anything else.

3. Expressions of flowers or monetary donations should be within your budget. It is not mandatory to do anything, but a gesture of sympathy shouldn't cause you to go into debt, do without, or dip into your emergency fund. A single long-stem rose is as appropriate as a large spray of flowers. You can put off a monetary memorial gift until you can save for it, if necessary. You can donate money at any time to all kinds of organizations in the memory of the departed. It doesn't have to be 2 days after their death.

4. If you gift food, it should easily be done from your pantry - quick breads, cakes, cookies, casserole, homemade dinner rolls or small sandwich buns, etc. If you purchase a meat/cheese tray (or something like that), that can come out of your grocery budget, and you'll just live off your stockpile of food and forgo that money. It could also come out of your "mad-money".

It's normally not your duty to feed the guests. In fact, gifts of food are almost a thing of the past. That's what restaurants are for.

[Libby]

sinopa - when you mentioned having a fund for funerals, I thought you meant you were thinking of funeral planning for you and your spouse so your exact wishes were clearly laid out and funded so your children and/or immediate family aren't left scrambling last minute to cover the costs. Both my parents have picked out their plot, headstone & wording and the majority of the bigger stuff is paid for. I think us kids will only have to pay for the room rental and food supplies etc. Unless they covered that as well and haven't told us.

As for last minute things to attend a funeral - the cards, outfits, extra gas in case its a distance funeral, I'd opt to bump up your EF to account. Maybe put an extra $500?

While things do add up, they're small potatoes in comparison to the actual funeral itself.

[dcompton]

If you do sinking funds, you could include this as one of the items.

[qtkitty]

If you increase your EF just a little to cover funerals as well.. so that incase there was a funeral and then it was compounded by something else going wrong that you would be covered for all.

Or since funerals most commonly do not happen back to back you could keep your EF up and then get a CD which may get a higher interest rate and have it come due every 3 or 6 months, so if there had been an emergency you could get the money out after 3 months to build back up your EF again. Then you could start saving for the next funeral CD.

[frugalwarrior2]

I used to have an unexpected expenses fund. This was to cover small weird stuff like funeral expenses,a parking pass for when DH was in the hospital,out of the budget small jobs that need asst. hardware store stuff, a church donation,etc. Not to be confused w/ the emergency fund for large malfunctioons.

Also, We have 2 plots we bought when we were first married. DH's DB died at 32. It made DH happy that he has a couple plots at the cemetary near his family.

[sinopa27]

thank you for all of the advice.
Grainlady......gifts of food are still going strong in the area I live in. I think that I will do stuff like bring paper towels/napkins/paper plates as a gift. I can make sure I have coupons and probably stock up on those items for the sole purpose of taking to the homes of the families.

[mombottoo]

A "Funeral Fund" is actually a very good idea, most people consider these costs unexpected so they costs may come out of a fund they have set up already.

I have a "Funeral Fund", but it's not for unexpected expenses that would apply to other people...it's for me. I no longer have life insurance due to dh's disability (lost it when he couldn't work anymore), so I started to put $50.00 per month away and have $5,400.00 socked away so far. When he dies his expenses will be paid for out of the IRA.

[monkeywrangler71]

This is a really good idea, thank you for bringing it up. For us, funerals mean an unplanned trip home, which can be very expensive. I really should earmark some funds for this.

I have learned that I should always pack for a funeral when I go home. My aunt passed away when I went home to visit her and I wasn't prepared. Not only did I spend a small fortune buying clothes I already had at home, but I was really not in any mood to be shopping. My funeral dress always goes in the suitcase now, whether or not I expect to need it.

[bumplett]

<~~ gifts of food are still very appropriate in my area also. Maybe it's a southern thing??

[monkeywrangler71]

<~~ gifts of food are still very appropriate in my area also. Maybe it's a southern thing??

Not just a southern thing. Who has time or energy to cook or eat out when they are burying a loved one? I hope to never see a time when bringing food to a grieving family is no longer appropriate.