Do you stress when people come over?

**nessarowdy** · 01-10-2010, 11:02 AM

Morning,
Just curious if anybody else gets stressed when company comes over? Especially unexpected? I don't know what it is, and I hate it! I love my friends, but I just don't relax when they are here, almost am over-anxious. And when they are gone, all I want to do is sleep! lol Anybody else like that? I am assuming it's because my house is never in showroom order. I suffer from CHAOS (can't have anyone over syndrome).

And more important, will I ever get over it??

Thanks,
vanessa

**tigo** · 01-10-2010, 11:07 AM

I stress out too. Same reason- my house is never clutter free. Now, most of my friends are used to it but I still flip out if my mother or father are coming to visit.

**valerian** · 01-10-2010, 11:11 AM

I don't like it either especially since with three boys my house is usually a wreck!

**Pemberleyan** · 01-10-2010, 11:25 AM

To the extreme, I guess. Anyone that knows me well knows that I want a few days' notice before any visiting. I am just not a good housekeeper; and with tendonitis/carpal tunnel problems fluctuating, I often choose other projects besides housework.

**kimmy4433** · 01-10-2010, 11:29 AM

I love to have people over, but only when I envite them over. I hate the unexpected visits! Even when MIL will stop buy, who knows our house is always a mess! lol

**shoiji** · 01-10-2010, 11:33 AM

I enjoy having my place a certain way. But quite honestly keeping it that way doesn't always happen. Have come to realize that it is ok if things are not perfect.

I do enjoy entertaining, but I do stress myself out trying to plan to make sure I have everything covered. You know, enough clean dishes, utensils, napkins, glasses, etc. The only way I can lessen the stress level is to make as simple a menu as possible since I have to pretty much make everything from scratch due to food intolerances. Also making as much the day before helps out. The people I know are not really high maintenance, but I just can stress myself out thinking I need to do all those little extras. I watch to many of those shows on cooking and entertaining.

**Incognito** · 01-10-2010, 11:53 AM

Because I'm self-employed in my home, people are here on a regular basis. I like to be ready for them, and have the house ready too & as far as my job is concerned, I do that. Stress is a part of life and dealing with people; work's work. When work is done and they leave, I am usually exhausted, and need a rest.

Nowadays, I find that relating to people at any time is more stressful than it used to be years ago. People seem to be more materialistic, pretentious, two-faced and difficult at times, and dealing with them is hard. Even the nice people can be hard to deal with, because you always have to maintain a high standard with them in order to please them, and that can be a drain; and they have annoying faults too. I find it particularly hard to deal with people who assume a lordly air over me, asking nosy questions, making busybody comments; I avoid them as much as I can.

Having said that, illness for the past 2 years has changed me so that I don't care as much about the house being in perfect order; I just apologize for the dust or the dishes at times, and let it go at that. When I have company, not work-related, I like to do a few special things, use special dishes, pamper them a little, just enjoy them, and relax and appreciate the time we have together. Spending time with the ones I love and like is still a wonderful blessing, even though I have to exert myself a little to be hospitable.

**NikoSan999** · 01-10-2010, 12:05 PM

Yep, me to. And it's not likely to end to be honest. The house is usually a mess. I'm normally at work with hubby ( until I find a job myself ) 6 days a week so that dosen't leave much time. All I do is pretty much sit there and answer phones, computer work but by the time I get home I'm drained. Probably from sitting.
My upper body is also held together with cortisone shots. Both shoulders, one twice, both hands, one wrist and one elbow. My hips need it but not going there. On bad days it can take me 4 or 5 minutes to get out of a chair. Another 4 or 5 to walk to the kitchen. Orthopedice surgeon said after many ex-rays that it is extreme bursitis and won't get any better and is spreading down my entire right side from shoulder to ankle. The left side is starting also.
So I do what I can when I can and that's it. Luckily people don't "drop" over and we hardly ever have company. We're normally invited over to our friends which works for me.

**mombottoo** · 01-10-2010, 01:24 PM

I love company and never get stressed out over company. I figure they are coming to see me, not my house and if they are coming to see my house, well then they need to leave.

**WV_mom_of2** · 01-10-2010, 01:30 PM

I don't mind company as long as they give me at least a day's notice. My house is always a mess and I want at least a day to get it in shape. Oh and please make your children behave too. Other than that, I like company. We never have any, but I like it LOL!

**ohio47** · 01-10-2010, 01:41 PM

Do I stress when company comes over? YES!! Like Nessarowdy said,I love my friends an family and don,t mind most of them visiting but with me it is more about having strangers or people I don't know very well here. I always feel like they are looking around and judging my house and what I have in it. It makes me very uncomfortable. It all goes back to my inferiority complex. I have been like that all my life. I don't feel like I am asgood as other people. It is something I am working very hard on. I know a lot of it is from growing up poor and having very little. I was looked down on by most of the kids in school so I tried to be the best student in the class and succeded most of the time. I could have gone on and made something out ofmy life but I got pregnant at 15&1/2 and had to get married. That wes in 1962, 3 kids later and the rest is history. I still haven't forgiven myself.

**pita1213** · 01-10-2010, 01:48 PM

It depends on the company and how well I know them. The girl that I do Girl Scouts with is no trouble at all. We have both seen each others houses in varying states of clean and clutter so I don't stress over her coming by. If it's someone stopping by for the first time or a larger gathering, I'll run around the day before cleaning and at least moving clutter out of sight. Since we have a two story house, i can move things upstairs if I don't have a good place for it to go. The upstairs is bedrooms so there is no reason for 99% of guests to go up there.
I have never been able to keep the house company ready, just took too much energy. But the kids are older and are doing more chores so I'm hoping to be able to keep it closer to company ready.

**Incognito** · 01-10-2010, 02:10 PM

Forgive yourself, and live!
You should see my place. I live in "the projects" in Canada; I have no living room furniture, just a few things for my music studio, my floors are bare tile with cracks and burns all over them (I didn't do it). Not too many modern conveniences, just the basics, and stuff is always needing repairs. But the people that come here are the kids and adults of the community, including the business people, educators, local bureaucrats & professionals from the lowest to the highest. They all take off their shoes on my worn-out doormat and sit on my worn-out chairs. I make a bare, meager living, and have nothing for extras.
But it's my life!

Originally Posted by ohio47

Do I stress when company comes over? YES!! Like Nessarowdy said,I love my friends an family and don,t mind most of them visiting but with me it is more about having strangers or people I don't know very well here. I always feel like they are looking around and judging my house and what I have in it. It makes me very uncomfortable. It all goes back to my inferiority complex. I have been like that all my life. I don't feel like I am asgood as other people. It is something I am working very hard on. I know a lot of it is from growing up poor and having very little. I was looked down on by most of the kids in school so I tried to be the best student in the class and succeded most of the time. I could have gone on and made something out ofmy life but I got pregnant at 15&1/2 and had to get married. That wes in 1962, 3 kids later and the rest is history. I still haven't forgiven myself.

**Dancing Lotus** · 01-10-2010, 02:12 PM

I hate it. I don't' even like when my kids drag in a neighbor kid.
Most of the time I won't even answer the door.

**cab54** · 01-10-2010, 02:30 PM

Originally Posted by Incognito

Because I'm self-employed in my home, people are here on a regular basis. I like to be ready for them, and have the house ready too & as far as my job is concerned, I do that. Stress is a part of life and dealing with people; work's work. When work is done and they leave, I am usually exhausted, and need a rest.

Nowadays, I find that relating to people at any time is more stressful than it used to be years ago. People seem to be more materialistic, pretentious, two-faced and difficult at times, and dealing with them is hard. Even the nice people can be hard to deal with, because you always have to maintain a high standard with them in order to please them, and that can be a drain; and they have annoying faults too. I find it particularly hard to deal with people who assume a lordly air over me, asking nosy questions, making busybody comments; I avoid them as much as I can.

Having said that, illness for the past 2 years has changed me so that I don't care as much about the house being in perfect order; I just apologize for the dust or the dishes at times, and let it go at that. When I have company, not work-related, I like to do a few special things, use special dishes, pamper them a little, just enjoy them, and relax and appreciate the time we have together. Spending time with the ones I love and like is still a wonderful blessing, even though I have to exert myself a little to be hospitable.

Incognito---your middle paragraph here, especially, rings true with me. It has made me more of a homebody, a loner, in some ways. The only people I trust and do things with are mainly my siblings and family, and sometimes DH's.

People often make me uncomfortable, in some way or other. Especially in my own home. I feel as though I'm being judged for cleanliness, decor, my lifestyle in general. Mainly because our society is so 'thing' oriented. I feel some people feel we live too rich, and some feel we live too poor.

I just don't care about such things. As I'm getting older, I am less of a worrier about it. It's a monkey I just want off my back.