Needy People - What to do?

**shoiji** · 01-14-2010, 10:03 AM

Do you ever find yourself with an adult who is just flat out needy and reminds you of a three year old?

Sometimes I find myself in this situation. All of a sudden you can picture this person on the ground flailing their arms and feet while screaming. Personally I find it really exhausting. One minute all you can hear is I want to do that and the next minute all the reasons why they can't do it. Or they can't walk the ten steps to throw something out. They expect you to do everything. Many times I have flat out said no, esplained at great length why I did not bring something up, or had to say exactly what I was thinking since trying to be kind or nice about something could not be understood.

Now that I have written this I am wondering if I really need to subject myself to this.

So I am wondering what other people do when they find themselves in this type of situation.

**Greebo** · 01-14-2010, 10:04 AM

It would help to know the nature of your relationship with the person in question...

**shoiji** · 01-14-2010, 10:14 AM

This is just someone I have recently met and sometimes do things with.

**Greebo** · 01-14-2010, 10:16 AM

In that case - it sounds like the beginnings of a very toxic relationship. I'd be thinking about not doing more things with this person if you feel this strongly already.

**Josephhgoins** · 01-14-2010, 10:24 AM

what Greebo said.

**mombottoo** · 01-14-2010, 10:33 AM

I agree with Greebo. Un-meet this person.

**WV_mom_of2** · 01-14-2010, 10:36 AM

My brother is like this. He thinks the whole world owes him something and it's always a poor me story. Never does anything to help himself. He just whines to me or my mom and expects us to pick up the slack and fix things.

How do I handle it? I don't answer the phone when he calls anymore! I have enough drama with two teenagers in the house. I don't need a 39 year old man's drama to go along with it!

**cab54** · 01-14-2010, 10:54 AM

Run. Far and fast.

**annymoll** · 01-14-2010, 10:59 AM

I do not have this problem. I do not attract needy people and I have none in my life. They have their own certain radar and know that I have nothing to offer them.

**Greebo** · 01-14-2010, 11:04 AM

Originally Posted by annymoll

I do not have this problem. I do not attract needy people and I have none in my life. They have their own certain radar and know that I have nothing to offer them.

Greebo is latching onto annymoll now.

**mama2James** · 01-14-2010, 11:04 AM

Since this is not a long time best friend or a family member, I'd say you have nothing to lose by just "un-friending" this person. My mother is that kind of person, but she's my mom...so I just let her vent/whine etc, and then I just let it go. I have learned over the years to stop enabling and trying to "fix" it. It takes strong boundaries to do that. In this case, I'd say it's just not worth your energy.

**NcsstyBrdsIngnty** · 01-14-2010, 11:08 AM

Originally Posted by mama2James

Since this is not a long time best friend or a family member, I'd say you have nothing to lose by just "un-friending" this person. My mother is that kind of person, but she's my mom...so I just let her vent/whine etc, and then I just let it go. I have learned over the years to stop enabling and trying to "fix" it. It takes strong boundaries to do that. In this case, I'd say it's just not worth your energy.

Ditto - my mom is the same way.

Strong Boundaries seem easier said than done.

**Debbie-cat** · 01-14-2010, 11:27 AM

I agree with Greebo.

**gapeach** · 01-14-2010, 11:38 AM

I'm agree with Greebo as well. This just doesn't sound healthy for you.

**monkeywrangler71** · 01-14-2010, 11:50 AM

I've never attracted the interest of needy people, I think they are drawn to more nurturing personalities. If I just met someone who annoyed me, I would drop them without another thought.