Isn't it funny....

[WV_mom_of2]

how different frugal forums can be?

I post on another forum too. Yesterday on that one I posted that dd had fallen in love with a prom dress online and I had called and they told me it was around 400.00(we later found out it's 480.00). I posted that I was going to break her heart and tell her she couldn't have it unless she paid for part of it.

I got several replies telling me that I should buy her any dress she wanted if it's Senior year. I should let her feel like a princess in the dress of her dreams is what one person told me. Honestly, I think feeling like a princess should be for your wedding day, not prom.

Am I being mean to not buy the dress? I can afford it, but 500.00 for a dress to wear one night in high school? I just kept thinking how most of you on here would pass out at the price LOL!

Dd is ok with not getting it. She's pretty frugal like me and although she is disappointed she even said that was way to much for a dress.

[mama2James]

I agree with you that if she wants it, should should pay for part of it. That way she will truly appreciate it. She can pay for the portion over and above what you are willing to pay and think is reasonable for a dress.
$480.00 for a dress she will likely never wear again and isn't getting married in is a bit ridiculous, IMO. I don't think I would fit in at your other forum lol

[joyofsix]

You're being nicer than I would. If dd asked for a $480 dress I'd smack her upside the head. It's a crappy dance in a gym. Not worth $480 IMHO. You are absolutely right. The other forum, um, weird.

[WV_mom_of2]

I agree with you that if she wants it, should should pay for part of it. That way she will truly appreciate it. She can pay for the portion over and above what you are willing to pay and think is reasonable for a dress.
$480.00 for a dress she will likely never wear again and isn't getting married in is a bit ridiculous, IMO. I don't think I would fit in at your other forum lol

They are very, very nice women(well most of them) over there and I enjoy posting for the friendship/chatty factor. They aren't nearly as frugal as most people here though, which is ok. I have always believed that "frugal" is what YOU want/need it to be.

[Michelle]

You should be proud that your dd thinks the dress is too expensive . I wouldn't give what the others are saying a second thought.

I agree with having your daughter pay for some of the dress if she decides she wants it.

Is it something you could possibly find on Ebay? Might be worth the look.

[Greebo]

Ceashels made her wedding dress. She made it to be something she could wear again. If she even spent $48 on it, it was only because of the fabric used in the practice dresses.

[WV_mom_of2]

You're being nicer than I would. If dd asked for a $480 dress I'd smack her upside the head. It's a crappy dance in a gym. Not worth $480 IMHO. You are absolutely right. The other forum, um, weird.

My dd did not ASK for the dress. We were looking online at dresses and she really loved this one. We couldn't find anything that said how much they were so I called a store near us that said they carried them. We had no idea they would be that expensive. When I told her, she found a site online that showed that is it 480.00.

I would never smack one of my kids for asking for anything. They know that they are always free to come to me with/for anything. If what they want is too expensive or I don't approve they know they won't get it but it leads to some wonderful discussions about being frugal, finding a way to earn what they want, etc. This one prom dress has led dd and me to looking online together at other sites/styles, discussing what she loves about that dress, what she hates about others, etc. Nothing bad comes from dreaming or asking in my opinion!

Our proms are really nice and special. All the parents, grandparents, kids, etc. gather out in front of the school an hour before prom to mingle and take pictures. They even open the gym up and let parents tour it so we can see the decorations and take pictures. It's a really special night for everyone.

[WV_mom_of2]

You should be proud that your dd thinks the dress is too expensive . I wouldn't give what the others are saying a second thought.

I agree with having your daughter pay for some of the dress if she decides she wants it.

Is it something you could possibly find on Ebay? Might be worth the look.

It's a brand new 2010 style so I doubt she could find it on Ebay. I might spend some time trying to look today though.

When I told her this morning she could pay part for it if she has her heart set on it she smirked at me and said "umm no, that's a ridiculous price" lol.

[WV_mom_of2]

Ceashels made her wedding dress. She made it to be something she could wear again. If she even spent $48 on it, it was only because of the fabric used in the practice dresses.

Last year she wore a dress that my great aunt made for my sister about 15 years ago LOL. She fell in love with it and my mom let her borrow it to wear. Her entire prom cost us about 30.00 That was for her shawl, shoes, jewerly, and stuff for me to do her nails. Dh's sister did her hair for free.

It is her senior year and I'm totally for buying her a new dress this time around....just not 480.00 worth of dress LOL!

[Josephhgoins]

I guess she answered that question, huh? Do they rent prom dresses? I know most of the guys at the proms I went to were in rented tuxes.

For most schools the Prom is introducing students to a formal affair. Getting them a little more comfortable in formal attire. I always thought they should offer some sort of etiquette training as part of the prom too. I think it is an important step in growing up that everyone should do at least once.

I hope you daughter finds the perfect dress at a price she doesn’t think is too high and I hope she has a great time.

[WV_mom_of2]

I guess she answered that question, huh? Do they rent prom dresses? I know most of the guys at the proms I went to were in rented tuxes.

For most schools the Prom is introducing students to a formal affair. Getting them a little more comfortable in formal attire. I always thought they should offer some sort of etiquette training as part of the prom too. I think it is an important step in growing up that everyone should do at least once.

I hope you daughter finds the perfect dress at a price she doesn’t think is too high and I hope she has a great time.

I live in the country and most kids here won't be doing anything much more formal then prom and their wedding in their lifetimes.

She will find something she loves. We are going to take her to a bigger town that has a David's Bridal and I think four other bridal/formal wear shops. I got tickled when I was talking to the one ritzy formal shop yesterday. She told me I didn't want to go to David's Bridal because they got in like 20 of every dress and it was a chain store and someone else would show up at prom in the same dress. I said "well we don't live in your town and last year I didn't see any of the girls dressed in the same dress at all". She just kept insisting. Such a turnoff to me. We are going to David's Bridal first LOL!

[NewLeaf]

I agree about the prom being a special occaison in a girl's life. Our prom (1984 lol) was in an old gym w/cheap decorations, but we were so excited. It was a chance to dress up and be a princess for a day. Parents and friends gathered outside (like WV mom said) and took pictures. It was a real social community experience.

My dad bought my first prom dress new it was $110. Back then that was quite a bit of money for a one time dress. My dad passed away a couple of years later and I cherish the memory of him doing that special thing for me.I went to two more proms and borrowed dresses. All of us girls just switched dresses so we wouldn't have to pay for one.

Whatever you and your daughter decide to do , it will end up being fine. Like you said she is learning alot about spending and what is really important with this exercise.

ONe note, I did end up wearning my first dress a couple more times in college as it was more of an evening dress style and appropriate for college dances. A friend won a beauty contest in it! Then I sold it.

[WV_mom_of2]

I agree about the prom being a special occaison in a girl's life. Our prom (1984 lol) was in an old gym w/cheap decorations, but we were so excited. It was a chance to dress up and be a princess for a day. Parents and friends gathered outside (like WV mom said) and took pictures. It was a real social community experience.

My dad bought my first prom dress new it was $110. Back then that was quite a bit of money for a one time dress. My dad passed away a couple of years later and I cherish the memory of him doing that special thing for me.I went to two more proms and borrowed dresses. All of us girls just switched dresses so we wouldn't have to pay for one.

Whatever you and your daughter decide to do , it will end up being fine. Like you said she is learning alot about spending and what is really important with this exercise.

ONe note, I did end up wearning my first dress a couple more times in college as it was more of an evening dress style and appropriate for college dances. A friend won a beauty contest in it! Then I sold it.

Back when I was in school we even had junior high proms. My first dress(8th grade) my mom made for me. I think she spent about 17.00 in materials. 9th grade a friend gave me her old one. 11th grade I worked part time and I bought my own dress. It was 130.00. For my senior year I had a white strapless dress that my mom bought new for 80.00. But that was in 1988 too!

I know if we can get to a bigger city we can find something she will love much cheaper than 500.00!

[2ndGenGranola]

I should let her feel like a princess in the dress of her dreams is what one person told me.

IMO that is what is wrong with so many young people today. They have the "princess" mentality (and it is not all their fault). They are "owed" this because they made it to prom - they are "owed" this because __ or __.

[WV_mom_of2]

IMO that is what is wrong with so many young people today. They have the "princess" mentality (and it is not all their fault). They are "owed" this because they made it to prom - they are "owed" this because __ or __.

I agree. Both of my kids know they can ask for anything they want. I think wanting is a natural part of being a kid. But they know that I have a limit and they might not get what they want. If I think it's too much or I don't approve, they don't get it. I can honestly say that I've never gotten the impression from either of them that they feel that we owe them anything.

Ds needs new tennis shoes. He is growing like a weed(he's 6 foot already at 14). He is playing basketball and wanted Nike Shox. He found a pair that was over my limit so I paid my limit amount and he put up the money he got from his grandparents for Christmas and some he got from his after school job. (dd pays him 20.00 a month to feed her rabbits Mon-Fri.)

I do want her to have a nice dress. If it's a new one that's fine and if she finds a used one she loves that's fine too. But I have a price limit and she is free to add to it with her own money if she chooses. She is a very hard working girl, straight A's, ranked high in her class, helps out a lot at home, works a part time job. She buys a lot of things she wants without ever asking me for them. She is also generous with the family, treating us to breakfast out sometimes, etc.